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With the development of the times and the progress of ideas and concepts, people no longer regard divorce as an unspeakable thing, compared with the past few decades, people today are far more dashing than people who have pursued feelings or given up feelings.
In the new era, China's marriage rate and divorce rate have changed dramatically, and the marriage rate has been declining, while the divorce rate has continued to rise. Especially after 2012, the increase in the divorce rate is far beyond people's imagination, and more and more couples are difficult to maintain their feelings, and finally reach this end.
By 2020, China's divorce rate has risen to 40%, why is there such a big change? Does every couple not think carefully before getting married, so they regret it when they first get married?
The fact is not necessarily the case, there are some couples who divorce mainly because their personalities and living habits are difficult to reconcile, because there are too many differences between the two sides, so it is difficult for them to live together harmoniously.
Another part is a quarrel, and both parties are unwilling to give each other a step, so they divorce.
The former is still understandable, forcing two incompatible people together is definitely a torture, while the latter is not appropriate, two quarrels are inevitable, why be so impulsive? Whether it is marriage or divorce, these two major life events are related to the happiness of both men and women and children.
If two people do not have children, they can still leave separately, but once it comes to the growth and education of children, then they must make a prudent decision, and do not let the child fall into an extremely deep psychological shadow due to a momentary impulse.
There are many children who grow up in single-parent families will have a certain inferiority complex, they may think that it is lonely to live with their father or mother, but this does not mean that all children of divorced families cannot grow up healthy and strong, as long as the father or mother gives the child enough love and quality education, then he will continue to correct himself in the process of growing up.
Divorce is not necessarily a bad thing, if both men and women are already intolerable, then there is no need to support for the sake of children, after all, witnessing his parents quarrel every day will also bring him great harm.
If the following three things occur in marriage, it is enough to ruin the happiness of countless families.
Count each other out
As soon as the word calculation appears, it will certainly not be pleasant, because this word involves mutual defense, and trust is the opposite.
Calculations in the workplace are inevitable, especially the competition between colleagues, but also out of the consideration of interests. But once this matter appears in the family, the husband and wife will no longer be happy.
Faye Wong and her boyfriend met through blind dates, both of whom reached marriageable age, coupled with the urgency of the family, they met a few times to determine the relationship.
Faye Wong is very satisfied with this boyfriend, his personality is gentle, his appearance is refreshing, and the interests and hobbies of the two people overlap a lot, just like this, she is full of expectations for this relationship.
After dating for about a year, the two of them officially decided to get married, but the two of them just caught up with the year of their lives, so they had to postpone it for a year. During the relationship, Faye Wong and her boyfriend's mother had a particularly good relationship, the other party often came to visit them, and Faye Wong often drove her mother-in-law out to play.
However, during a certain dinner, Faye Wong accidentally overheard the conversation between her boyfriend and his mother, and it turned out that the other party had been calculating to make her pregnant before marriage in order to pinch her.
After learning about this matter, Wang Feifei immediately broke up without saying a word, originally thinking of changing the heart for the heart, but did not know that the other party was full of calculations at the beginning.
Mutual dislike
There is no perfect person in the world, everyone has a corresponding shortcoming, for people who love each other, the shortcomings of each other are nothing, as long as they love each other, they can tolerate each other.
But if you and the other person can no longer see the advantages of each other, and your heart is always full of disgust, it means that your relationship has come to an end. Such a marriage is meaningless even if it is not divorced, and there is no love, so why talk about home?
violent
There are two types of domestic violence, one is physical violence and the other is cold violence.
Physical violence is illegal, once you are beaten by your partner, you must immediately call the police and resolutely divorce, not giving the abuser any chance of recovery. If two people are frequently cold and violent, then the two sides must communicate more and try to open their hearts.
Emotional matters are very complicated, if the two sides have a grudge, and the ideas and concepts can not be integrated, then communication will not help, it will only make the situation more and more rigid.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205