There is a saying that most people with good lives are similar, and people who suffer from life are different. The world is very big, everything is good or bad, and if someone has a good life, someone is doomed to suffer. Some women have a smooth life in their feelings, husband and wife and harmony for a lifetime, such a woman is undoubtedly lucky; and some whether it is feelings or marriages are twists and turns, they are also constantly consuming the courage to pursue happiness, losing the ability to feel happiness.
A person with a good life may need an external gift, but the person who suffers a bad life must be a person caused by his own reasons. Many women do not understand this truth, see others live well, they envy others' lives better than their own, born in a good family, and met a good man.
In fact, many times, they just see the results of other people's good fate, but they don't know that others have also made efforts to get the results of good life. Happiness must not be something that sits around, but something that needs to be paid to get.
Once listening to two women chatting on the subway, one said with envy: "Your fate is really good, and your husband is not only capable, but also so good to you." Unlike the one in our family, he has no ability not to say it, and he still gets into trouble everywhere. The other said, "That's how you haven't seen me treating him." Your husband is actually very good, you don't always nag him. "In fact, many times, when we look at other people's marriages, we only like to look at the surface, only see who is good to whom, but never think about how others get along with each other in marriage.
Many people say, "Whether a woman is happy or not depends on the man", in fact, I think that a woman's happiness is in the hands of the woman herself. Isn't there a "woman is a home feng shui saying"? In fact, this statement is still very reasonable. No matter how good a man is to a woman, if a woman does not know how to get along with a man and does not cherish this relationship, it is useless.
In marriage, women live well or badly, 80% of them are self-inflicted, and men actually have little to do with it. The experience of people who have come over: Women who love to do "these things" are most likely to be "bitter".
Love to worry, housework does not let men handle
I have a friend who often laments that he is a worried person, outside the home, big things and small things, you have to deal with it yourself to be at ease. Even in order to better take care of the family and children, he quit his job to become a full-time housewife. Over the years, she has put all her energy on the family, everything is based on the family, because too much work, and no intention to take care of herself, and now she is often disliked by her husband, which makes her feel more and more that her life is not good, she has worked hard all day, and she has also met such an inconsiderate husband.
My friend's experience reminds me of Mrs. Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, who is a typical representative of worry, and her whole life revolves around her husband and daughters, except forgetting herself. She spent all day worrying about her daughters' marriage, the future of her family. But all her worries were exchanged for her husband's disdain and the daughters' annoyance.
Influenced by the ideology of "outside the male, inside the female", many women are very conscious of taking most of the housework, so that men have developed the habit of "throwing their hands", becoming more and more "lazy", and even feel that women's worries about housework are taken for granted. Over time, women not only do not get the pity of men, but also attract their boredom and disgust.
Tu Lei once said: In love life, the person who bears everything alone is stupid, because you simply question your other half that he can't share with you, and you also deprive him of the right to share responsibility with you.
Therefore, in a family, only by sharing with each other can men understand women's difficulties and care more about women.
The heart is too soft, unprincipled and bottomless to forgive men's mistakes
Some time ago, a female netizen poured out her troubles on the Internet, she said that her husband's gambling addiction is not a day or two, every time she knows that he goes to gamble, she is eager to leave this man immediately. However, when she thought of his former goodness and saw him kneeling down in tears and begging for forgiveness, she couldn't help but be fierce, always hoping that he would really be able to change from evil to righteousness one day.
She thought that her soft heart could be exchanged for her husband to turn back to the shore, but she did not expect that he had intensified, and finally, she secretly took out her hard-earned savings of more than 100,000 yuan to gamble, and as a result, not only did the money go and go, but also owed a lot of foreign debts, and was chased by people every day. She lamented her bad fortune and married such a gambler.
Abscesses always have to be completely squeezed out to heal, and the same is true for tumors in marriage, and if you do not remove them, there is always a risk of recurrence of old diseases. Soft-heartedness is the best side of human nature, but sometimes, it is easy to set obstacles for yourself and push yourself step by step into the abyss of pain.
In any case, women must have their own principles and bottom lines, for some of the men's behaviors that touch the principles and bottom lines, there should be a judgmental attitude, blindly soft forgiveness will only drag themselves into a situation of bitter fate.
Suspicious and suspicious, lack of trust in men
Some women, due to their low self-confidence, will put themselves in a state of insecurity after marriage, and do not know how to improve and repair. Therefore, in the process of getting along with their husbands, their suspicions will be particularly heavy, and they will always check all kinds of posts, either to inquire about the whereabouts of their husbands, or to repeatedly interrogate their husbands' old feelings, often putting themselves in a state of uneasiness and anxiety. Because the husband and wife have lost the trust they should have, and there is no happiness in life, women will naturally feel that they are not good.
Colleague Xiao Yuan, before getting married, her husband's ex-girlfriend was seriously ill, and out of old feelings, he helped contact acquaintances in the hospital and asked the other party to take care of him. After Xiao Xi knew, she especially cared, but considering that the wedding date was imminent, she put up with it. After marriage, Xiao Yuan obviously knew that her husband and ex-girlfriend were not in contact, but as soon as she encountered a dispute over feelings, she moved out of this old matter, suspecting that her husband's old love was not broken, and even questioning her husband's motives for marrying her. No matter how her husband explains, the thorn in Xiao Yuan's heart cannot be pulled out, she often says that her life is not good, and she has found a man with a "previous crime".
In fact, being suspected by his wife, in addition to feeling particularly stressed, men will also have a sense of humiliation of not being trusted, and will gradually develop a sense of alienation. Husband and wife get along like this, women will also spend their hearts, not only tired, but also magnify their troubles, feel that their luck is not good, and have not met a good man who can reassure themselves.
In short, women who love to worry, are too soft and suspicious are prone to "bitter life". A woman with a good life and a woman with a hard life, her experience is completely different, instead of complaining about her own life, it is better to examine herself, recognize her shortcomings, change it if you have it, and encourage it if you don't, so that you can change your destiny.
Women have to learn to live for themselves and please themselves no matter what, and men's good is just the icing on the cake. When you cultivate yourself well and become full of charm, you meet a better self, and good luck will naturally follow.