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Nowadays, there are more and more women who practice celibacy and non-marriage, and they make this choice mainly for the following two reasons.
First of all. Marriage documents do not necessarily bring material protection to the woman, and once the other party conceals certain facts before marriage, then after marriage, the woman will bear the mess left by the husband.
Secondly, many men have the problem of spending their hearts, even if two people are married, they may not be able to control themselves, once cheating, women will be greatly hurt emotionally, rather than painful suffering, it is better to avoid the risk at the beginning.
However, not all women who suffer from fate are hurt by the general environment, and a small number of them are purely because of their own fatal flaws. Usually, most of the hard-working women have these three hobbies, and I hope you don't have any of them.
Likes to be blind
Women will always think about many problems in advance, and these problems may not appear in the future, for example, when the child first went to primary school, he was already struggling with where to let the child go to college, or how to support himself after entering the society, or even support the family.
In fact, thinking about these problems too early will only increase the trouble, the child is still so small, there are countless possibilities for development in the future, you should have let the child create his own future, but at present you are limited to his future in a small grid, even if the child wants to expand outward, you do not allow any accidents to happen.
From the perspective of the mother, everyone naturally hopes that the child can grow strong and healthy, but you may wish to think about a question, the child from childhood to adulthood is moving forward according to your ideas, is this really a good thing? If a person's growth has not encountered the slightest obstacle, does he really have the ability to overcome difficulties and get out of difficulties?
If a woman is too worried, she will easily raise her husband to become a second son. Women should realize that you and your husband are equal in status and want to be close and respectful of each other, but some women often can't do that.
This kind of woman always feels that since two people are married, she has the obligation to manage each other and manage the family well, but they do not consider that the family needs to be maintained with emotions, people are not machines after all, whether it is a controlling party or a controlled party will have a great sense of oppression in their hearts, once the feelings of two people gradually deteriorate, men's hearts will appear to escape.
Likes to be nosy
Enthusiasm is indeed a good quality, but this quality can not be used in all aspects of life, only when others take the initiative to ask for help, you then go to help, can be regarded as the appropriate performance, if blindly act as a guest, but will be rejected by others, and even mistaken for nosy.
Interpersonal communication must have a sense of distance, do not randomly mix with other people's family things, even if other people's love and hate are entangled, you do not judge casually.
You think that you are a warm-hearted big sister, others will be grateful to Dade, but you don't know that your behavior will not only not get the recognition and gratitude of the other party, but also make you burn yourself.
Instead of wasting time in other people's homes, it is better to use free time to manage your own life well, which can not only cultivate the body and mind, relax the nerves, but also get a sense of harvest and achievement.
I like to do things to myself
When a woman is at home, she must learn to let go, and never take everything as her responsibility, because no one will appreciate you, and in the long run, everyone will only get used to your efforts and never take your dedication in the eyes.
The more diligent women are, the more they have endless work, and those women who work while complaining that their children and husbands do not know how to understand themselves must be properly delegated.
You can leave the simplest housework such as cleaning dishes and mopping the floor to the children and husbands, and only when family members share the housework, the atmosphere at home will be more beautiful and harmonious.
If you always give your labor without asking for anything in return, your husband and children will be raised lazily and ungratefully.
Everyone's life is chosen by themselves, and everything you make now is the foreshadowing of your future life. If you are satisfied with your current life, it means that your choice is correct, but if you are not satisfied with the current situation, then you must carefully reflect on your choice.
Living for yourself is not a selfish thing, only if you are happy, life will be more favorable to you.
Another point is also very important, that is, women must establish their own principles, do not let others cross the thunder pool at will, do not show a good bullying side, and say it directly if they are dissatisfied, only in this way can they avoid hard work.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205