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How often do you hear people say this about you? "Your face is really thin", "he is shy", "she is easy to blush, maybe you are born with such a shy personality, and strangers talk to the face immediately burned up, moderate shyness can actually enhance the goodwill between friends, the other party will feel that you are really kind, but excessive shyness and pain must be yourself, excessive shyness easy to blush may actually be a disease.
From a psychological point of view, it is normal for people to be nervous, have a rapid heartbeat, and blush on important occasions.
But because of this, the heart repeatedly struggles, after the hoarding of huge psychological pressure fear and pain, repeated recall is abnormal, there is a psychological disease called red face phobia (red face phobia).
Typical symptoms are: seeing people blushing, fear of being seen by others, inner worry and anxiety, accompanied by different degrees of blushing, nervousness, uneasiness, fear, sweating, panic, dry mouth and other autonomic symptoms. Red-faced phobia is a type of social phobia that seriously affects the daily interpersonal interactions of the person concerned.
The most obvious difference between red-faced phobia and ordinary blushing is that the former is too focused on his own expressions and behaviors, and evaluates himself too low, so that cognitive distortion occurs, such as fantasy inference and excessive extension of other people's intentions, and the most serious case is the delusion that everyone around him is looking at him and talking about him
How did this happen? Studies have shown that cognition plays a role in the occurrence of red-faced phobia, and the personality characteristics of the person in the early years are an important factor, accumulated in juvenile or early adulthood, and the gradual onset of illness for many years is caused by extreme inferiority.
Or as a result of being humiliated in the early years of social experience. Either way, the psychology community clinically mainly divides the reasons for easy nervousness and shyness into three categories
Innate personality influences
This is almost unchangeable, some people are naturally introverted, those who are particularly prone to nervousness and shyness are mostly affected by natural personality, sensitive and suspicious, coupled with some self-righteous shame and shame blows the day after tomorrow, so that their self-perception is distorted, blindly seeing their own character defects and ignoring other advantages.
The biggest difficulty in the growth of introverted children is self-awareness, especially before the age of ten, which requires the continuous recognition and cognitive shaping of parents to help them gradually form a sense of self-identity in adolescence.
However, the parent personality of such children often tends to be introverted, or the child shows "withdrawal" at a very young age to give it the label of "introversion", "my child is like this, seeing a strange aunt is shy and introverted", "my child is like this, everything is good, is too shy" The child also labels himself subconsciously - he is "introverted" to be disliked, which is very unfavorable to the child's own breakthrough and progress.
When they grow up, when they see a good-looking opposite sex and strangers, they are easy to blush and shy, easily criticized and hurt by others, and often identify with the negative evaluations of others, and they will sensitively capture the evaluations that others have made of them.
Especially those negative evaluations, and then the surface does not resist like identification, so that the evaluator is more rampant, such a vicious circle is easy to evolve into "school bullying" or other humiliating incidents, and eventually let the child form social phobia, the most serious is the above case, there are auditory hallucinations fantasy others maliciously evaluate their own phenomenon,
Introversion is not a character defect, but excessive introversion, in fact, is a kind of inner closure, they lack of security in their hearts, afraid that the real self will not be accepted by the outside world, so directly close the door of the heart, over time, it is prone to psychological diseases.
Household environmental impact
The influence of the original family is also very important, there is a kind of family that is too strict with the child, such as casually joking with the parents and being reprimanded by the parents fiercely, and the children grow up in a solemn atmosphere from an early age.
Survey studies have shown that about two-thirds of people with mental illness come from families of military or college teachers, who tend to be very educational and overly strict with their children.
The psychology community has also analyzed the impact of strict families on children through case studies, and the final conclusion is that parents instill very strict requirements when children are very young, and children are also demanding of themselves, and gradually form a paranoid personality that pursues perfection, and when they grow up, they are either perfectionists or form obsessive personalities that pursue perfection too much.
The face of such people is often particularly thin and does not allow themselves to make mistakes, once they make mistakes and are ridiculed by the outside world, they struggle endlessly, and a "disgrace" event can leave a shadow for more than ten years, which is not an exaggeration, in short, such people have been living in caution and not allowing themselves to make mistakes, and naturally they are more nervous and shy.
Socio-cultural influences
The third is the influence of social culture, such as the difference between China and the United States, in the eyes of American women, Chinese men are more shy and reserved than American men, but also more helpful, China has been influenced by traditional Confucian cultural thought since ancient times, advocating modesty and courtesy, introverted nature, easy to give people a feeling of external "lack of self-confidence", foreign traditional culture teaches people to show themselves as much as possible, giving people a sense of external self-confidence.
Another example is Japan, the Japanese people have a strong sense of loyalty, the sense of collectivity is also very strong, if they do something to drag down the collective, they will be extremely ashamed, in the eyes of our ordinary people, things that are a big deal may make a Japanese person commit suicide.
During the Kamakura shogunate, suicide by caesarean section was mostly due to guilt and shame— shyness was a way for them to protect themselves.
Japan's traditional Bushido culture regards failure as more important than life, such as losing a game to damage your reputation, you will be ashamed to apologize, but fortunately, this inhumane culture is gradually declining, but the way of protecting yourself through shyness still affects modern Japanese.
Confident and attractive people, the face is generally very thick, encounter embarrassing things quickly reconciled with themselves, easy to be nervous and shy, essentially because of insecurity and insecurity caused, such changes need to be gradual, the fastest way is to do more things that they are afraid of.
However, breaking through this psychological defense line is difficult for people who are introverted in themselves, but the author himself is a successful example of changing from "social fear" to "social bull", brave a few times to be afraid of a few times and you will successfully find that others forget you after five minutes.
- The End -
Author | Tommida
Edit | Wan'an
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).