Resilience, called Resilience in the field of psychology, refers to the ability to bounce back like a spring after encountering setbacks and failures.
The factors that affect a child's ability to resist frustration are divided into uncontrollable factors and controllable factors. The former refers to acquired culture and learning, such as genetics, age, sex, and accidental trauma.
So, how to cultivate a child's ability to resist setbacks?
1. Let go appropriately and accumulate learned optimism that "I can."
Get up in the morning to get dressed, tidy up your toys, etc., these things, don't do it, let the children do it themselves, so that they can know that I am capable of solving the problem.
When faced with setbacks, they will actively find ways to solve them, rather than stagnating.
2. Accept your child's emotions
Don't deny your child's emotions.
What's the big deal about that? Cry what to cry? Manly big husband knows to cry, are you ashamed?
Emotions themselves are not good or bad, and resistance to the existence of emotions will bring problems.
Therefore, we must first agree to accept the child's emotions, let the child understand that it is normal for you to have such a reaction, so what should we do?
Instead of blindly blaming the child, let the child feel that crying is wrong, that is, cowardly, but never know what to do correctly? And hint to the child, you just can't do it, you just won't solve the problem, just know to cry.
3. Cultivate children's growth mindset
We have talked about this in the previous article, how to praise, how to decompose the big goal into practical goals, rather than always expecting too much from the child and making the child learned helpless.
4. Reasonable Attribution
Don't blame the floor when the child falls, but remind the child to look at the road carefully
When things happen, complain less in front of children, don't complain about teachers, complain about this and that, look at problems positively, and guide children to correct attribution.
The famous German philosopher Jaspers said: True education is to use one tree to shake another tree, to use one cloud to push another cloud, and to use one soul to awaken another soul.
Tao Xingzhi said: Education that escapes reality is not true education, and true education must fight with reality.
Frustration education is intended to guide children to fight with reality when they encounter natural setbacks.