The secret of a woman marrying someone: targeted mate selection

Text/Shadow

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The writer Yasuhito Kunita once said: "Marriage is the end of youth, and it is also the starting point for running towards a happy life." In order for it to bear good fruit, do not be anxious, be cautious, and be sincere. ”

People often compare marriage to a woman's second reincarnation, which heralds a turning point in life and a new future.

If a woman wants to have a happy marriage, she cannot use an anxious attitude to complete it as a task, but must choose carefully to avoid many disasters.

In the matter of marriage, it has always been more choice than effort, rather than spending time and energy to change a person who has been stereotyped, it is better to choose the right person from the beginning.

If a woman wants to choose the right man, she must first learn to choose a mate.

What is directional mate selection?

The term "orientation" is not unfamiliar to everyone, and we often hear about targeted admissions, orienteering sports, and targeted employment.

In these contexts, "orientation" all means the same thing — to turn in a specified direction.

It mainly refers to a kind of action with goals, plans, and orientations.

The so-called directional mate selection refers to the selection of mates according to specific conditions in order to achieve a certain purpose.

This method of mate selection is based on rationality, which requires both weighing the pros and cons and taking a long-term view.

Any idea of "following the feeling" doesn't fit into this pattern of mate selection.

Targeted mate selection can increase marital happiness

The famous thinker Marx once said: "If you want to live a beautiful life, only two people are united, because the half of the ball cannot roll, so the important task of each adult is to find the half that matches himself." ”

Finding the right half of you can get a happy marriage, and to achieve this goal, directed mate selection is indispensable.

On the one hand, exclude the unacceptable parts and avoid contradictions.

Zhao Liying once said in the show that her mate selection criteria, one of which is not to go along, and later she married Feng Shaofeng Fengzi, but eventually divorced not long after the birth of the child.

There are many theories about the reasons for their separation, but I think the biggest reason is that Feng Shaofeng did not meet her mate selection criteria from the beginning.

She naturally has one reason for not wanting to marry her peers, and later when she marries her peers, the problems she cared about before will naturally be exposed, which is also the contradiction between them.

Adults choose a mate, only screening, not changing. Those parts that are difficult for you to accept, and potential crises that may affect the happiness of your marriage, need to be checked in advance.

In this way, contradictions can be reduced.

Fu Lei once said: "Thinking that the climax of feelings during the love period can also be maintained after marriage is a delusion that violates the law." ”

Marriage and love are two different things, falling in love is only about two people, and marriage is about two families, so there are some more realistic problems, everyone should think about in advance.

On the other hand, focus on selecting the parts that are important and increase satisfaction.

Writer Bi Shumin once said: "No matter what kind of shoes, the most important thing is to fit the feet; no matter what kind of marriage, the most wonderful thing is harmony." ”

The main basis for judging whether the person is the person you want is the person you want.

In order to find the right person for themselves, everyone must list certain conditions and choose accurately in order to get the best results.

You like the taller half, you have requirements for height; you value academic qualifications, just look for the other half with higher academic qualifications.

Within a reasonable range, choose the way you want to, so as to increase satisfaction.

The heart is satisfied, and the marital happiness naturally goes up.

How to orient the mate selection?

Directional mate selection is simple to say, but the operation is quite meticulous, to do this well, we must start from three aspects.

First, about the circle layer

There is a saying that says it well: "Friends decide the way out, the circle determines life, and what kind of people to walk with, will take what kind of road." ”

This is the truth of "near Zhu is red, near ink is black".

As the saying goes, "Things are clustered in groups, and people are grouped together." ”

Only two people who are similar can really come together, and putting people from different worlds together is just creating trouble.

If a woman wants to find the right person, she must pay attention to the difference in the circle layer and strive to find someone similar to her circle layer.

(1) Spiritual circle

The spiritual level between people is far from the same, and I remember the satirical dancer Yang Liping who failed to have children without children, and she and Yang Liping are not people of the same world.

Two people whose spiritual level is not at the same height have different thoughts, visions, and attitudes towards life.

There is no way for such people to be fused together, and even if they are forcibly put together, they will only make their lives restless.

(2) The circle layer on the substance

People are not divided into three, six, nine, etc., but there are circles.

Some people have a set of skin care products is the income of some people for half a year, and a bag is enough for some people to earn three or five years.

Because economic capabilities are different, consumption concepts, living standards, are not at the same level.

Second, about the conditions

I like a passage that Su Su said: "Marriage is a work of the world, in the time of flowing water, lit with chai rice oil and salt, decades of human fireworks, years and months, pay attention to two people in the same boat, sincere cooperation." ”

Marriage is not a wind and snow moon, but chai rice oil and salt, in the process of helping each other in the same boat, everyone will understand the importance of the door to the door.

(1) Personal conditions

Are your education, appearance, job, and income at similar levels?

If so, you are a good fit; if not, it will be troublesome to live in the future.

After all, marriage is a reality.

(2) Family conditions

Marriage means the union of two families, and if you want to have a happy marriage, you must be the door to the door of the family.

Two families with too different conditions cannot coexist harmoniously, and long-term poverty alleviation relationships will only make the marital happiness continue to decline.

Only by being a door-to-door pair can we create inner balance and stability in life.

Third, about people

Momo once said: "Marriage is the hymn of life, it needs love, responsibility, reason, courage and sacrifice of these multi-voice cooperation, in order to accompany your life." 」 ”

For a man, his most precious place is by no means in appearance, let alone in material conditions, but in character, character, and sense of responsibility.

As long as you have the right personality, good character, and a sense of responsibility, your life will not be too bad.

The "Zhu Zi Family Training" has a saying: "It is advisable to prepare for the rain and prepare for the rain, and to dig a well without thirst." ”

Precaution is a kind of life wisdom, women in marriage and love should adhere to this attitude of life, not emotional, not blinded by the "love brain", with a directional way to choose a mate to rationally select the other half, in order to make your marriage more happy.

I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.