Author/Window Sill
01. Husband's respect and love for you;
In the marriage relationship, as a wife, your husband's attitude towards you often determines the attitude of his family.
If your husband respects you, loves you, and cares about your every move, then his parents and family will most likely do the same, the so-called love house and Wu, and vice versa.
To put it bluntly, according to some phenomena I have seen in life, some women complain that their mother-in-law likes to embarrass herself, and has suffered a lot of grievances but has nowhere to say, while her husband remains silent most of the time. In fact, silence is a kind of default, he does not understand, but does not want to understand, nor does he want to go to this muddy water. To put it more bluntly, he just wants to use your commission to seek perfection in exchange for the comfort of everyone's life.
Once upon a time, a boy told me that her wife was getting a divorce and he didn't want to leave. I asked him: Do you know why she got divorced?
She said: "It was because of my mother, the two of them had a conflict, when she was confinement, my mother did not come to take care of her, and said that she was pretentious, I was also busy at the time, and there was no time to come back to take care of it." Later, it was the mother-in-law who came over. She and my mother often quarreled, and my mother was actually a very good person, but sometimes she was more unreasonable and said some ugly things. She thought I hadn't helped her. ”
Look, in fact, he can analyze it himself, and he also admits that in this mother-in-law relationship, his mother is sometimes too domineering, and his wife was very good at first, but then it slowly changed. But he didn't think the mother was a bad person, and as a son, he had no position to talk about the mother.
I told him: No one thinks their mother is bad. Standing on a different position, the identity of mother-in-law and mother-in-law may appear two diametrically opposed people.
He didn't love his wife enough, because he didn't say a single word of justice knowing right from wrong. He only hopes to wronged his wife alone in exchange for the harmony of a family, and now his wife is not willing to endure, wants to divorce, and he does not want to lose this stable life now. That's why he panicked.
Marriage is Hong Kong, but marriage should be a port for each other and a person who stands in the wind, so that both people can have a sense of security in it. The husband's respect and love are often one of the strongest confidences a woman has in marriage.
02. The reasonableness of the in-laws;
If the in-laws themselves are reasonable people, then the marriage will reduce a lot of obstacles, because only two people need to manage the relationship.
Don't underestimate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, after all, in life, because of the discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there are not a few people who eventually lead to the breakdown of the marriage relationship.
Although the vast majority of people, when they enter marriage, must be holding good expectations, but the subsequent development is often unpopular, and the mother-in-law relationship you meet cannot be completely achieved.
Of course, there are certainly not only bad mothers-in-law in this world, but also bad daughters-in-law. It's just that if you assume that your daughter-in-law's character is passed, it is really an extremely beautiful thing to be able to have a good mother-in-law at the same time.
In the next relationship, the two people only need to be able to respect each other, and they don't have to worry much about other things.
03. The support of the mother's parents;
What kind of existence is the mother's parents?
This is home, a kind of steadfastness and attachment from the bottom of the heart, and the source of the initial sense of security in our hearts, after all, when we were young, we had to rely on our parents for everything.
Let's take an analogy. If you are a traveler, no matter where you go, when you think of home, a warm feeling will definitely arise in your heart. This is the way to come, the beacon that never dies in the heart.
People live, sometimes they live with a force, a belief, a kind of heartfelt identification and pride, but also a kind of worry and being concerned, these things are sometimes more important than money and material things.
Therefore, as a woman, after they get married, the support from their mother's parents is definitely a strong determination in their hearts. Of course, this kind of support does not mean that the mother's family must be how powerful and rich, most people are ordinary people, parents are also ordinary parents, do not need them to have much ability, only hope that when they encounter difficulties, they can be around, become their own backing, even if they do nothing, only a word of support, sometimes it is enough.
I've heard a lot of women who feel helpless in their marriages, even desperate, want to get out but don't dare, and one of the reasons I say the most is that they have nowhere to go. Because after marriage, the mother's family is no longer her own home.
On the contrary, if the parents of the mother's family can stand on their side and give corresponding support, then no matter what choice is made, the personal confidence will be greatly increased.
04. Their own ability;
As the old saying goes, no matter who you rely on, you may not be able to rely on, only rely on yourself, always indestructible.
Therefore, as I get older, my ability is often the most able to give myself a sense of confidence - I can live well without relying on anyone.
Of course, this ability includes many things, not only the ability to make money, but also the quality of independence, the idea of not going with the flow, the ability to solve some things on its own, the ability to reflect and summarize, and the courage to make certain decisions accordingly.
These are all a combination of individual abilities.
It is precisely because of these abilities that in the marriage relationship, no matter what you face, you will not blindly think of only seeking perfection, but can have more confidence and make corresponding choices.
In summary, these aspects together constitute a woman's confidence in marriage, and being able to have at least two of the above things at the same time may be envied by many people, and those who have them are even more fortunate.
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