Forgetting is a game played by the mind and brain

Every one of us will forget and lose, such as forgetting where things are, losing keys, books, umbrellas, and even important documents such as our id cards, driver's licenses, passports, etc. When a lost is found, it is generally searched for at the first time, and sometimes it is mobilized to help people around it.

Searching is only an outward act, and the meaning of its mind is self-examination. Sometimes the power of self-examination is not enough, or there are mistakes between the person who helped find it and the two people who lost something. Therefore, those who are asked to help find it must help to find it carefully. One is to give support to the person who has lost something, and the other is to find out what problems you have in your relationship.

So, what about the spiritual meaning of forgetting? Forgetting is the self-preservation of the mind, the painful emotions caused by what happened, the mind does not accept to make a denial, and forgets something in the event that occurred.

For example, a girl in class was slapped by a boy in the class for bumping into her teacher. The teacher called the parents to the school to deal with the matter. Her mother came to the school to see her daughter, only to see her crying vigorously, and the teacher told the parents what had happened to the student at school.

It was raining that morning, and the rain had stopped when Mom came to school in the afternoon. After talking to the teacher, when the mother and daughter turned to leave the office and walked to the playground, the mother suddenly remembered that the umbrella that her daughter had brought to school in the morning had not been taken. Let the daughter go back to the class to get it, but the daughter has just been publicly humiliated by the boys and is unwilling to return to the class that embarrassed her. When I went the next day, the child's umbrella was gone.

Later, when the girl grew up, she always lost her umbrella. Whenever it rains and can't find her own umbrella, she takes another umbrella in the house, and all the umbrellas in the family are all thrown away by her, so that when her mother is about to go out, she finds that there is no umbrella available at home and has to borrow it from the neighbor. Mom kept reminding me that the loss continued, and the newly bought umbrella continued to be lost. In the end, the mother talked to her daughter about throwing the umbrella, and the tone could no longer be calm. But what can be done?

The trauma of the girl's student years has continued to grow up, and every time she unconsciously loses her umbrella, it seems that the brain has a bug and has been forgotten, but in fact, the mind reminds itself to check itself over and over again: Is the collision really right? How to communicate with the elders without confrontation? When the mother faces her daughter's loss of the umbrella every time, criticism can only aggravate the child's inner painful experience, and the child's inner trauma needs to be seen and understood and tolerated. Therefore, every time you face your daughter losing her umbrella, you should have a relaxed and tolerant attitude. If the child loses 10, 20, or even more umbrellas, in order to erase the inner trauma of the year, then the mother needs to tolerate the loss of the daughter's umbrella every time. When the mother is calm and tolerant, the child's heart can not be criticized, and only then can she have the strength to self-test, thus changing the psychology of confrontation.

Forgetting is a game played by the mind and the brain, the brain forgets something, in fact, it is the self-examination initiated by the mind, it is the re-recognition of the traumatic event, until the heart is truly calm in order to have the appropriate cognitive and emotional response, is the inner correction process.

Author: He Xiangxin, a national second-level psychological counselor, good at marriage and love feelings, parent-child relationship counseling.

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