When I was young, I often thought about the question of "who am I?". Who am I, where am I from, where am I going, and what kind of soul am I?
After entering the society, there will still be such moments of percussion, but the frequency has slowly decreased. Running in the red dust, taking care of themselves and coping with others, gradually there is no time to ask. Maybe everyone doesn't care, after all, the four eyes are facing each other, are you seeing the real "me"?
This mental game that I want to share with you today is a bit poisonous, because it is real enough, let's come together.
1 The Three "I's"
Please take out a blank piece of paper, in the leftmost column of the paper, write down the items such as "height", "weight", "appearance" and so on in turn (as shown in the picture), and then write from left to right on the top of the white paper: the real me, the ideal me, the me in the eyes of others.
At this point, the form for the game is complete, and all that's left is to fill in your own answers by entry. The first column on the right outlines your general situation, and the remaining two pieces may give us some thought.
The first is the ideal me. How you wish, just write it. For example, if we are not tall enough, then write the height of our dreams; if we feel that our appearance is not satisfied, we can write down the model of appearance in our hearts. This is true of each of the following items. We don't have to be ashamed of our yearning and imagination.
When you fill out this column, you can enter the last section - yourself in the eyes of others. The other person here refers to the situation in which you are perceived in the circle around you. For example, you often hide your sorrows to show people happiness and affinity, and people who know you well say that you are "understanding" and "gentle and gentle", just write it down truthfully.
Some people write about this column in one go, and some people are helpless. The former has a clear understanding of the image he has created, while the latter is sad that he does not know what he looks like in the eyes of others.
2 When the mask is worn for a long time, it will become a face that cannot be torn off
Did everyone fill it out? It is estimated that when I first filled it in, many people were careless, because it did not seem to have any technical content. But when it's all done and examined, many people will sigh.
It turns out that there is such a big gap between our evaluation of ourselves and our ideal image. Almost no one is satisfied with their appearance, the bridge of the nose is not high enough, the eyes are not big enough, the height is too short, the teeth are not white enough... By extension, the family is not good enough, and the income is too small. To sum it up: what you have, you don't like.
It's a sad thing. Because many things can be changed, but they cannot be re-chosen. How to face these divinely given contents has an important impact on our overall physical and mental health.
Take the most popular "beauty" cause, due to the unremitting pursuit of the people of the world, it has become a developed industry comparable to the assembly line. Even after the iteration of technical maturity, it was given the name of exquisite beauty - "medical beauty". I am not very interested in things like makeup, and I have only recently felt the strong vitality of this industry. After occasionally clicking on a Small Red Book plastic surgery sharing, relying on the skillful and accurate recommendation of the big data era, my Little Red Book page began to be strongly covered by plastic surgery information. Looking at those so-called "sharing", pictures of completely two faces before and after, I can't help but feel cold behind my back.
Looking around, it's almost like: Do you think I'm beautiful? Please don't say that I looked good before surgery; after the family was ruined, my girlfriend blackened me; let those who say I am ugly see, you can only be jealous of me now... Such and such a topic. After watching it for a while, I really can't help but doubt the advertising nature of this content. Whether it is a merchant or a consumer, these contents are full of anxiety, which is even to the point of perversion.
I have to say that this is an era full of diversity, we have more advanced technology, and we have a broader space for development. But why is it that our understanding and acceptance of ourselves and me is going backwards? Of course, everyone has the heart to love beauty. But after arriving in Beauty, where do our hearts go? Is it okay?
There are many beauty lovers who say: Those who point out me, you are standing and talking without waist pain! Admittedly, it is regrettable that you have been treated unfairly because you are not beautiful enough. This is a stain on the entire era. But friends, is your self-confidence from changing your face enough to make you face the test of life? If you say yes, then you are good, applauding you; if not, or not enough, do we have to think about what we are missing?
I know a girl, with a slender body, white and delicate, which can be regarded as beautiful. But she said she had been afraid to smile for a long time because her teeth were not aligned enough. Then he said: My face, even the nose can still see. Eyebrows are too light, eyes are not sharp enough, the skin is not good, always dry and peeling. I was stunned to say that the self in the heart of a beautiful woman was so unbearable. But I clearly saw that in the process of conversation, I saw her smiling smartly, and occasionally the naughty little tiger teeth because of laughter lined her delicate and cute.
Another woman, unsatisfied with her appearance, carried out a series of beautifications. Indeed, it is really beautiful. But in a chat where many people were present, she commented to the people who passed by: The person who just passed by was really ugly and dressed quite fashionably. It was as if a stone had fallen from the heart of the encounter and was shaken. Friend, do you remember what you used to look like? Do you think you are the real you now? What are your standards for what you call "beauty and ugliness"?
Some people are deeply trapped in the eyes and evaluations of others, while some people are lost in their own masks and cannot extricate themselves. Both are equally frightening.
3 What you see is only what I want you to see
Next, I want to talk about division. Because many people's real selves are too different from the real themselves in the eyes of others. It must be felt necessary to maintain this difference, and it will be difficult to persist for a long time. But know, tigers also have times to nap.
Our mental system is very strange to say. Sometimes he was terrifyingly strong, heavily defended like a heavily guarded city; sometimes he was fragile and collapsed with a single blow. If our body and mind are unified and cognitively coordinated, we can produce stable psychological energy and calmly face people and things in life; and when the goalkeeper of the flower shelf is paired with a weak beggar, this combination cannot resist the battlefield of adversity no matter how it is seen.
Therefore, when the contrast between you in the eyes of others and you in reality is too great, you can slow down and find the reason. After all, the person who has accompanied us for a long time is "myself" who is the most loyal.
A poet said, "You don't have to keep changing to please me." I love you, I love you.
Do you love who you are? If you don't love, how can others fall in love with you who has revealed your true face?
You can't really be wronged yourself. When our repressed emotions are no longer obedient, it will explode in another distorted way. We will see that a usually gentle person has a temper like a volcanic eruption, and there are also people who smile from beginning to end, but end their lives in the confusion of everyone. The price is too painful. They use their lives to play their role in the eyes of others.
We always say that "truth, goodness and beauty" are too precious, but if there is no "truth", how can "goodness and beauty" come from?
epilogue:
To borrow a sentence from teacher Bi Shumin: No matter how cruel the reality, because of the true character, it has the qualification to step on the earth. The illusory me, no matter how fantastic and beautiful, is untenable.
Please don't use "ideal me" to disparage "real me". There are no perfect people in the world, and there are no perfect things. But we can have irreplaceable charm and create the splendor of the galaxy without fear.
Healthy self-awareness can give us good and stable psychological energy, look at the big environment and small circles more objectively, and face the ups and downs and joys in life. You will find that your heart is safe and has the vitality to spread and grow. Because you believe in yourself as the source of creation.
Who am I and what kind of person am I? May we all have answers that are worthy of our hearts. Bless your friends~
Image from the web
Love and Light are with us