Child, I'm not afraid that you will grow up, I'm just afraid that I won't be able to catch up
Wen 丨 Fish Dad Image source: Meisu Gallery
1
One day at lunch, I fried some of my son's favorite dishes.
I was also in a good mood and opened a can of beer.
My son looked at me with a smile and sighed, "Dad, if only I grew up." ”
"Why?"
"Then we can toast!"
I told him before that when you grow up, we'll be able to drink together.
It turns out that the little one remembers all along.
"Then I'll wait for you, wait for you to grow up, and daddy will wait to drink with you."
My heart feels warm.
2
I remember that the park was beautiful in late spring and early summer.
The flowers are blooming, and my son often takes me to play.
Once, at dinner, I said to my wife, "Today is really good, I went to the park and saw the monthly flowers blooming." Really thanks to the little one for taking me to play. ”
The son was surprised to hear it from the sidelines.
"Dad, you mean I'll take you to play?"
"Yes, it's you who take me to play, if it weren't for you, I would definitely be moldy in the house, where would I go to the park."
"Thank you so much!"
Seeing my son's full sense of happiness.
The arrival of the child really changed our little home.
Before my wife and I were relatively homely people, but following our son's footsteps, we also ran through a lot of mountains and rivers and saw a lot of different scenery.
We would also be out there a lot of time running and chasing.
When the son ran in front, he shouted, "Daddy, come after me!" Come after me. ”
I sometimes run out of breath and feel like the years are really flowing like water.
I have always looked forward to my son and children growing up, but I am afraid that I will not be able to catch up.
3
Children grow up day by day, and one day, they will embark on a distant road.
There is only this kind of love under heaven, the love of parents, which ultimately leads to separation.
Once my son went to my grandmother's house to play, I made a meal and called and asked, "Are you going home to eat?" ”
He said, "Dad, you eat, I'll eat at my grandmother's house." ”
At that moment, I hung up the phone, and I was a little sad in the face of the table full of food.
It was as if after seeing it for many years, he would say to me, "Dad, I'm not going home this time. ”
I always remember when I left home to go to school.
After four o'clock in the morning, my grandmother got up to cook for me.
I used to finish my meal half-asleep and say goodbye to her by the first rays of morning light.
Her diminutive figure waved her hand on the side of the road and slowly disappeared.
Holding my suitcase, I got on the pre-rented tricycle to the station and left in tears.
Separation after separation means growth again and again.
Finished college, worked, married a wife, had children...
Today, on the other end of the phone, there are still endless concerns.
And I don't know when, the phone will no longer ring, and once I see it, I will see it less once.
The love of parents and children is always so deep and ever-present.
And children's love for their parents is often dull and stunned.
Sometimes, you can't catch it, you can't hear it.
Jia Pingyu wrote in the article "Writing to Mother":
"In this life and this life, my most ungrateful cry is twice, once at the beginning of my life, once at the end of your life, the first time I will not remember, it is to listen to you, the second time you will not know, it is useless for me to say."
When our mother says goodbye to us, to the world, the pain is heart-piercing.
And it is often after becoming a parent that you can better appreciate this difficulty.
"Slowly, slowly, I learned that the so-called father-daughter mother-son only means that your fate with him is to constantly watch his back drift away in this life and this life. He silently tells you with his back that there is no need to chase. ”
Long Yingtai, who wrote this paragraph, was nearly 60 years old at the time, and he watched his son grow up and his father die.
4
I know that one day, you'll grow into a big guy too.
Will have their own friends and have their own life.
Never again like now, I used to hook my little hand around my neck and say that we would take a shower together.
I won't say with expectant eyes that Dad begs you, go out and play.
I won't be my little ass anymore.
I don't hold a book and tell me the same story over and over again.
You will read your own books and have your own dreams.
Will like their favorite girl.
Will have its own secrets.
I knew that day would come sooner or later, because that's how I came here.
In my childhood, I imagined my future countless times and longed to grow up.
As a teenager, I dreamed of having my own dreams and working hard for them.
I would also write a journal with tears in my eyes after my failure and secretly encourage me to write my vows.
I keep in my heart the path and stories I have traveled.
And the sweat of overcoming difficulties, tears of happiness, and lessons of remorse and stupidity.
You will go through all of this in the future.
I'm not afraid of you growing up because I'll try to catch up.
I will read together and discuss the stories in the book with you while you are reading.
When you ask me questions, answer every one of your questions seriously.
When you learn a new skill, I actively learn it.
As children grow older, parents will eventually let go.
But before you grow up.
I want to hug you more.
Just as listening to music that day at noon and remembering something from the past, I called your name.
"Dad, what did you call me?"
"Dad is in a bad mood and wants to hug you."
You crawled into my arms full of joy, and although there was not a word of comfort, a tight hug worked more than anything.
"Why hug me and make you feel better?" You ask in a low voice.
"Because I love you! It's comfortable to cuddle. ”
"I love you too, Daddy!"
What else in this world is as warm as a child on his father's shoulders and embracing his child?
I wish it would have been longer, longer.
During this time, the child in my heart grew up with you.