In life, there are always ups and downs.
When you are in a high place, it is easy to attract jealousy and easy to have the desire to show off.
When you are in a low place, it is easy to be disliked and insulted, and it is easy to have a psychology of inferiority and self-deprecation.
No matter where you are, there must always be guidelines for being a person or doing things.
People are not humble, people are not proud, people are not dazzling, people are not discussed, only in this way can we go far.
People are not humble
There is a good saying: better than people, you must treat others as people; Inferior to people, you must treat yourself as a person.
Only by respecting yourself can you gain the respect of others.
When the general Di was young, his family was poor, and he was sentenced to be stabbed because of a conflict with his neighbors.
At that time, people who had tattooed words in the face were considered inferior.
In the humiliation, Di Qing did not despise himself and be willing to degenerate, but worked hard to learn the art of war and was brave and fearless on the battlefield.
With the strength to dare to fight and fight, Di Qing repelled the enemy army more than 20 times in the confrontation with the Western Xia army, and made great battle achievements.
After returning from victory, Di Qing should have been rewarded and reused, but because of the tattoo on his face, the ministers looked down on him, disdained to associate with a lowly and lowly person like him, and squeezed him out everywhere.
But Di Qing did not feel self-pity, nor did he feel inferiority to his identity. I still read hard every day, practiced the art of war, and continued to make great achievements in the battles that followed.
Source: Douban Movie
Finally, the emperor discovered Di Qing and treated him very seriously. Later, Di Qingguan became a privy envoy, and no one dared to look down on him because of the tattoo.
Self-contempt and self-deprecation are the most despised behaviors.
Self-defeat is the most hopeless behavior.
Throughout history, there have been many people who have worked hard and are not humble and unassuming.
Su Qin, who was disliked by his parents and brothers and sisters-in-law, if he was self-deprecating, there would be no later Six Kingdoms worship; If Han Xin, who was humiliated by everyone, had despised himself after the humiliation of his crotch, there would be no later general.
Life is impermanent, ups and downs, only by bravely facing and respecting oneself can we gain the respect of others and see the hope of rushing to the top again.
People are not proud
"There is Only One Thing in Life" writes: "Arrogance is a terminal illness because you can't see it." ”
As the great philosopher of ancient Greece, Socrates was talented and respected, and he was never arrogant to either his protégés or opponents.
Socrates, who fought as an Athenian soldier in his youth, described him as described by his 20-year-old comrade Alqabiad:
When food was cut off, no one could go hungry like he did. When the weather is cold, he still goes out as usual, still walking barefoot on the ice, but he walks more freely than a person wearing shoes.
Later, Alqabiad asked his superiors to give Socrates a medal for his bravery, but Socrates insisted that he would not want it. Because he thinks heroic soldiers should do these things.
After becoming a great philosopher, Socrates took many disciples, and he devoted himself to them, never condescending and arrogant.
Every time people praised him, he would humbly say, "The only thing I know is my own ignorance." ”
Those who are not arrogant are naturally respected.
Old Lady Jia in "Dream of Red Mansions" is also an approachable and not arrogant person, which can be seen from her attitude towards Grandma Liu.
Source: Douban Movie
In the eyes of others, Grandma Liu said that she was a relative of Jia Fu at best, and it was not good to say it, but she was just fighting the autumn breeze with some distant connections.
But Old Lady Jia asked people to prepare a family banquet and banquet, and also let Grandma Liu stay in the Grand View Garden.
It was precisely because of such indiscriminate treatment that Grandma Liu was grateful, and later rescued Sister Qiao after the fall of Jia Mansion.
Shakespeare said, "A proud man always destroys himself in pride." ”
Be strict with yourself and be humble.
Let go of the arrogance in your heart in order to go further and reap the real and reliable emotions in interpersonal communication.
Don't show off in front of people
In life, people who like to show off abound.
In the TV series "Obstetrics and Gynecology of Love", there is a girl who loves to show off, Zheng Rourou, she has a strong vanity and always likes to buy various famous brands.
But her family was not rich, and she had no money to buy famous brands, so she went to the black market to sell eggs for money.
It didn't take long for her body to develop abnormalities, as she was infected by egg retrieval on the black market, which could be life-threatening at any time.
However, what she wants is to cure the disease first, and then take eggs and sell them to buy famous brands, so as to satisfy her vanity.
Source: Panorama Vision
She did not know how precious human life is, and that this act of consuming health and life to satisfy vanity in exchange for glamorous appearance is not worth the loss.
Life is about the conservation of energy, and showing off too much in front of people will always fall in another way.
Adler said: "The essence of showing off is low self-esteem. ”
Those who regard showing off as achievements are inferior and have no confidence in their bones.
Not showing off is not only an attitude to life, but also a cultivation of self-connotation.
People don't discuss it afterwards
There are always many people in life who like to comment on others behind their backs.
But behind the words, right and wrong, is a sign of low self-esteem.
Because when you say something behind your back, you can't avoid being said behind your back.
As the saying goes: "It is better to scold in front of people than to talk about people after people." ”
The famous Eastern Han dynasty general Ma Yuan had two nephews, named Ma Yan and Ma Dun. The brothers love to talk about people behind their backs.
Because they love to talk about others, they have made many children who behave frivolously.
Once, Ma Yuan led troops to march south to fight each other, afraid that the two nephews would not cause trouble, so he wrote a special letter to warn them:
"I hope that you will hear that others have made mistakes in the future, do not rush to talk about it, just like hearing the names of your own parents, your ears can enter, but your mouth cannot speak."
Talking about other people's strengths and weaknesses and indiscriminately commenting on etiquette are all wrong behaviors, and they are also my least favorite behaviors. The reason why I wrote a special letter to remind you is to hope that you will not commit it again and avoid the evil coming out of your mouth. ”
When the two brothers saw the letter, they really converged a lot.
As the old saying goes: "Sit still and think about yourself, and talk about people." ”
Source: Panorama Vision
It was precisely because Ma Yuan understood the harm of talking about others behind his back that he wrote a letter to warn his nephews to keep them away from trouble.
The discussion behind it will reach the ears of the parties sooner or later.
In order to avoid being disliked in interpersonal relationships and avoid disasters coming out of the mouth, we must be cautious in our words and actions.
Those who achieve great things often pay attention to accumulating strength and cultivating their own bodies.
When in a lower position, he is neither humble nor promiscuous; When you are in a high place, you are not arrogant or proud; When you are in front of people, do not show off or compare; When you are behind people, do not talk about it and do not slander.
In this way, you can gain the respect of others, show your charm, and make yourself a truly good and wise person.
May you and I keep our hearts and focus on moving forward.
Author: Lian Xiao Nuan & Xiao Bei.