"How old are you?" A friend I just met asked me this.
"Three years old." My face was serious, she didn't see me as a joke, thought that her problem was a bit presumptuous, and quickly apologized to me.
"No, no need to apologize," I waved my hand and explained to her.
"It turned out that I had been living in a state of confusion until three years ago, when I realized that if I continued to live like that, my life would be in vain.
From that day on, I decided to follow my heart's desires in everything I did.
It was the beginning of a new life for me, which is why I said I was only three years old. "
After that, I asked her, "How old are you this year?"
"How can you follow your heart's desire? Do you want to do what you want? In that case, will others say that I am willful and ignorant? She didn't answer, but threw me a question like this.
For a while, I didn't know how to answer, until I read the new book "Just Right Life" by Liu Chenxi, the chief emotional mentor of "Love Defense", in recent days.
01.
In the book, Liu Chenxi said that many people feel laborious and even tormented to do things, because they do not consider their own wishes and feelings, resulting in a lack of mental strength, no internal drive, and almost all rely on external drive to promote the development of things.
To live an effortless life, the heart is the core.
Living from the heart is a customized life, focusing on maintaining health and happiness, and choosing goals independently and voluntarily, rather than passively claiming tasks.
That's a good thing to say, but how many people can do it? With a car loan and a housing loan on my back, and my wife and children to support, I only follow my heart, where does the money come from? "
Many people know that they want to live a healthy and happy life, and they also want to follow their own hearts, do what they want to do, and pick up their children if they don't want to do it, but the family is there, and they want to live from their hearts, but they don't dare.
But is this the kind of life you want? Liu Chenxi gave a soul torture question, "What about your emotions, feelings, wishes, and happiness?" None of this matters? How many people will really care about your success? Have you thought about it? "
Give up your true self and climb all the way with the shell of your "false self" on your back, except for the results you get that prove that you are very good, you basically don't get much happiness along the way, only energy consumption.
Laborious, but still persistent, it is possible that if this continues, you will collapse and leave the field halfway, are there few such examples?
So what to do?
No one wants to live like that, everyone wants to combine work and love in this life, to live an effortless life.
02.
"Among my friends, there are people who like to eat, they have picky tastes and a keen sense of taste, so they choose to become foodies, cooks, and build an e-commerce chain for agricultural products; Some people like to sleep, they pay attention to bedding and bedrooms, so they choose to become sleep product researchers; Some people like to play, and they choose to be outdoor travel leaders and store visitors; Some people like to be musical, and they choose to be bloggers who specialize in editing funny videos and re-dubbing them, talk show actors in small theaters. ”
Liu Chenxi took the people around him as an example in the book, saying that as long as we find our own advantages, it is possible to realize our advantages, obtain positive feedback and income, and turn "the priority attention of the heart" into "the potential energy of life".
Do what you like, in the process of doing things, you are supported by flow, even if you feel tired, you will not feel bitter, and your mind will be constantly opened, this kind of work is effortless work.
is like Yang Jiang, although she is a centenarian, she still keeps writing, the reason is that writing is what she likes.
When Shen Congwen was not famous, he lived in poverty, but in the cold winter, his hands were shivering from the cold, and he continued to create, because he could earn manuscript fees, and because writing was his passion.
There are countless such examples, such as Mu Xin, who uses pieces of paper to write when he is in prison, such as Lu Xun, Xiao Hong, etc.
Empowering love.
Live from the heart and do the work you like, so that your effortless life is gradually opening.
03.
However, advantages can be translated into income, but not overnight.
In the process of gradual transformation, we still have to survive, even if we can be harsh on ourselves, but the necessary expenses of the family, as well as the education of the children, cannot wait.
What to do? Do you continue to work in a job you don't like, or do you want to be selfish for your own life, decisively give up your original and start a new life?
When it comes to this issue, we have to mention side hustle thinking, or slashes that people used to like to say.
You don't need to quit your job, but you do need to be able to use your spare time.
If you have advantageous skills, you can show your skills on the Internet platform in your spare time.
If you don't have skills other than work, you can take a look at your life, find one that you like the most, can be combined with social trends, and can be realized in the future, and then go to learn.
In short, save the time and energy that was originally used for play, and find ways to open up another track for yourself.
This is not only to lay the foundation for us to live an effortless life, but also to prevent our lives from being affected if something goes wrong with our work, such as being laid off.
"I've been using my spare time to study, but to show it on the platform, I don't dare, my three-legged cat's kung fu, show out, and not be laughed out of my big teeth?"
What's not to dare?
Do you know what is the biggest skill I learned in Liu Chenxi's "Just Right Life"?
I learned six words, "Try it, what if", and it was to get rid of shame.
04.
On the road to wealth and success, what prevents us from seizing opportunities is our sense of shame.
"Ashamed to expose yourself", "ashamed to calculate benefits", "ashamed to use strength".
Being ashamed to expose yourself and hiding yourself in the crowd, whether it is in the work group or the parent group, I hope that others will not notice me, and I hope that I am a little transparent.
Who knows, being recognized and paid attention to by more people will invisibly create more possibilities in your life and bring wealth.
"Then I will be ridiculed if I expose myself and be seen for my incompetence?"
There is a chance to be ridiculed and there is a possibility to be discovered, get a chance, which do you choose? I will choose to be discovered.
In the past, I was also a person who was shy to express myself, or I was afraid of being ridiculed, and when I wrote an article, I would worry that I would not write well, be laughed at, and make a video, and I would worry that I would not be as good as others, and no one would like to watch it.
But in fact, it is often the people who think too much about themselves, and the people who post articles and videos on the Internet, their works are not necessarily very good, but they dare to post and show themselves, so they are seen, not only become famous, but also make money.
Just like Li Juan, the author of "My Altay", which exploded during this time, there are many people who write better articles than her, but they have not become as famous as her, why? Because these people didn't show themselves like Li Juan.
showed, maybe they will be more popular than Li Juan.
So, what are you afraid of, try it, what if it succeeds?
Now, I'm like this, no matter how readers react to writing an article, I send it out, what if it becomes a hit?
If you make a video and send it out, what if you are liked and succeed in attracting fans?
If you don't give it a try, how will you know what the consequences will be?
It's like the vulgar slang: "It's a snail or a horse, pull it out for a walk", what if someone has a unique eye to dig it out?
Besides, it doesn't hurt if you don't find out, writing itself is a process of refining and refining one's own thoughts, sending it out and letting people see it, and it may help people who are in a state of chaos.
So, be bold, try it, express it when it should be expressed, show it when it should be shown, and what if success comes up in this trial?
05.
I am fearless, my work is what I love, and my life is imaginable, and I am much happier than before, that is, I am no longer strenuous anymore.
"But I'm a person who can manage myself, but I can't manage relationships. Some people may lament that.
In the fourth chapter of "Just Right Life", in the part "Building Comfortable Interpersonal Relationships", Liu Chenxi says: "The premise of all relationships is to establish the belief that they are constantly growing inward and tending to enrich themselves.
The premise of inward growth is to believe in one's inner strength, be willing to introduce, look through emotions, understand oneself, open oneself, dig oneself, and shape oneself.
If you have something to do, you will do nothing. ”
That is, if you do a good job of yourself and deal with your emotions well, you will naturally attract people who are at the same frequency as you, and besides, the interpersonal relationships that need to be handled are not tiring?
If a relationship requires racking your brains to keep it together, it is an unhealthy and laborious relationship.
If that's the case, then it's better to get along with yourself.
Think about it, life is actually composed of these few things, work, study, relationship, these few things are effortless, life is equal to effortless, life is effortless, our mood, that is, emotions will be more harmonious.
The emotions are mellow, looking at the mountains is the mountains, looking at the water is the water, a porridge and a meal, also have its original taste, morning, dusk and dusk, we will also enjoy it.
Day by day, this life is also a complete life.