Introduction: How can you not be afraid of things? Today, I'm going to talk to you.
Many people, whether at work or in life, are very afraid of things, and when things come, they will feel fear and subconsciously want to escape.
In fact, if you think about it differently, you won't be afraid of things. This thinking is: except for life and death, everything else is abrasion.
There is nothing important but life and death, so what is there to be afraid of?
With this thinking, together with the following 4 methods, it can help us deal with things.
You are the protagonist and your life is up to you
Many people will be afraid and hide when they encounter things, and even if they have the opportunity, they will hide behind others, and in the end they will not seize the opportunity and waste their lives. But if you do this, you will regret your actions when you look back on them in a few years.
Adlerian psychology believes that people are not victims of circumstances or past, but protagonists, and everything depends on themselves.
Indeed, we are all the protagonists of our own lives, not supporting roles in other people's lives, let alone audiences.
What we want to live and what kind of person we want to be is entirely up to us. So you have to think about it: what is your goal, and what kind of meaning is life that you are pursuing? What are those dreams that have tormented you for countless nights and kept you awake?
When you think clearly, you must dare to go on stage, strive for your life ideals, and be the protagonist of life.
If you see yourself as the protagonist, you will not be afraid of difficulties, because everything you encounter is for you to be successful, and you will not care about the opinions and opinions of others, because your growth is only related to you alone.
The meaning of life lies in self-realization. When you have self-awareness and thoughts, you can take responsibility for your own life.
Hurdles, just step over
Dr. Alfered once proposed the law of hurdles, when he dissected the body of a patient with kidney disease, he found that the kidney was much larger than the average kidney. In other cases of anatomy, a similar situation has been obtained.
Alferred found that the function of diseased organs increased day by day as they struggled with the virus. When one organ dies, the other organ takes full responsibility, making the ordinary organ stronger.
Through the law of hurdles, Alfered tells us that people adapt to change. When the difficulties are greater, people's abilities will also be greater.
For example, some athletes dare not jump when they are hurdling, and they stop in front of the hurdle, in fact, it is not because his ability is not up to the level of crossing, but because he has a sense of fear in his heart.
But there's nothing to be afraid of, if it doesn't work once, do it again. Once you have overcome your inner fear, you can step over. And the higher the hurdle in front of him, the higher he jumps.
The same is true at work, sometimes you will encounter a particularly big difficulty, especially anxiety and depression, and you think you can't get over.
In fact, when you really immerse yourself, you find that the problem is solved before you know it. The difficulties are not as big as you think, but your fear raises them. And after you go through this and solve the tricky problem, it will bring out your potential.
So don't be afraid of anything, the greater the difficulties a person encounters, the greater the achievements tend to be.
Victory can be planned
Some things, like mountains, when you are at the foot of the mountain and see the top of the mountain, you will feel that the mountain is unclimbable, and you don't have the courage to climb it. The first reaction was to back down, thinking, "It's too hard, I can't do it." ”
In order to overcome difficulties, you also need to have the ability to disassemble goals.
Goal dismantling is to break down a complex unsolvable problem into several small problems, and solve these small problems one by one step to solve the complex big problem.
Musk has a strong ability to dismantle targets. In the process of building the rocket, Musk streamlined the key steps to 27 steps, and when the rocket was launched, each part was numbered and the corresponding responsible person was designated. Even if the rocket eventually explodes, it is still clear which one is the wrong one by recovering all the parts.
Therefore, when you face difficulties, you must also have such the ability to disassemble.
You need to break down the goal into tasks, that is, translate the "outcome" into the "process" to achieve the outcome.
1. Forward planning
Positive planning means that you need to know what the goal is, what the method is to achieve it, and then break down the methods and steps into to-do tasks.
For example, how many steps should be taken to achieve the goal? What to do first and what to do next?
2. Reverse planning
The so-called reverse planning is to work backwards from the endgame, and if you want to achieve the result, what are the most important things at the moment. And, think about it, how do you do that? In the process, corrections are made until the goal is reached.
Reverse and positive deduction are more conducive to us overcoming difficulties.
If you do it in advance, you can solve 80% of the problems
Finally, if you want to deal with things, you have to take action.
As Tsinghua professor Peng Kaiping said: all anxiety, wandering, and fear can only be solved through action. Lying in bed, hiding in the house, thinking nonsense, there is no point and no use. ”
So you set a goal for yourself, and once you've broken it down, you have to do it.
Lei Jun is such a person, when he was in college, one of the goals he set for himself was to publish papers in first-class journals.
It was difficult, it seemed unattainable, but he took action and did it quickly.
Lei Jun said: "I think back today, those goals that seem to be great, try it, maybe it is not that difficult." Therefore, I think that young people still have the courage of young people, don't listen to other people's suggestions and suggestions, and dare to think and dare to do the most important thing. ”
I sometimes wonder why so many people are afraid to act? In general, there are 2 reasons.
The first is inertia. There is a lazy side in human nature, change is difficult after all, and if something is troublesome to do, most people are unwilling to break the inertia and get out of their comfort zone.
The second is the fear of failure. I saw a lot of obstacles and challenges, and I was worried that I was not capable enough, I didn't have a good plan, etc., so I would rather not do it than do it wrong. But as mentioned earlier, in addition to life and death, they are all bruises. So be sure to execute.
Action is always more important than the right action. It's 100 times better to do something wrong than to do it at all.
If you want to, you can't change anything. You are afraid, and it is impossible to produce results.
So you have to have action, you only have action, you will have feedback, with feedback, you can review, even if you do wrong, you can also correct, and then find the right way.
Zhang Yiming also attaches great importance to action.
He often said to himself:
Immediately there is something to act on, are you a man of action? Many problems will not go away, not moving (hesitating / complaining / sighing) is definitely wrong, action has power, even if it is a preparatory action of action, only action can change things.
So, don't be afraid, don't hesitate, if you do it in advance, you can solve 80% of the problems.
Finally, to sum up, when you have the thinking that "except for life and death, it is all bruises", you will no longer be afraid of anything. And to deal with these things, you have to have: the consciousness of the protagonist and the responsibility for life; Dare to hurdle and challenge the impossible; The goal is disassembled, and the victory can be planned; Positive action can solve 80% of problems if it is done in advance.
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