Chapter 1 The "Struggle" of Marriage: Should I Endure or Leave?
"I don't know if I should divorce him or not. This decision has been haunting me for a whole year, and feelings of contradiction and pain have been lingering. Xiaoli said anxiously, with tears in her eyes.
Xiaoli and her husband have been married for ten years, and their lives were quite harmonious, but recently they have quarreled frequently, and the conflicts have escalated again and again, which makes her have to seriously think about whether to choose divorce.
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"He habitually squandered his household expenses, even when I reminded him again and again. We were arguing over money and the relationship was getting more and more strained. Xiaoli said distressedly, "But we have been in love for so many years and have experienced a lot, how can we bear to be separated like this?"
Her hesitation and pain undoubtedly reflect the inner portrayal of many people facing marriage crisis. Even if the marriage has existed in name only, the parties still can't let go of it in their hearts.
The question of whether to endure or choose to divorce has plagued countless people who are in a marriage crisis.
Marriage is a magical being that can both bring happiness and become a tormenting shackle. For some, it is better to endure than give up easily; For others, a timely stop loss is the best option.
Conservatives will say that marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime commitment that is to persevere even when things go wrong. As long as both parties work hard enough, one day they will reap a happy ending. Progressives, on the other hand, believe that marriage should not be a reason to sacrifice personal happiness, and that a decisive divorce is the best way forward when the relationship does break down.
There are different views on marriage, which leads to controversy and disagreement on the issue of divorce. Some people think that divorce is a form of cowardice, while others believe that it is actually a form of courage and wisdom.
"In a way, divorce doesn't mean failure." Teacher Zhang, a psychological counselor, analyzed, "Sometimes, divorce is precisely for the pursuit of a better life. Even if it hurts temporarily, it may be a shortcut to happiness in the long run. "
As Mr. Zhang said, the struggles in marriage are not black and white. For people who are in a marital crisis, choosing whether to divorce or not is not an easy task, and you need to repeatedly weigh the pros and cons to make the most suitable decision for you.
In this process, many factors such as emotion, family, and children will affect the choices of the parties. They need to be mentally prepared to be patient and tolerant, but also have the courage to make the right choices.
Only in this way can they finally get rid of the dilemma of "getting married, they can't leave" and welcome a new chapter in their lives.
Chapter 2 The "Maintenance" of Marriage: Happiness Comes as Scheduled
Marriage is like an expensive luxury car, it takes a lot of effort to build it, but if it is not maintained in time, it will one day be overwhelmed until it is scrapped.
We tend to overlook the fact that marriages need to be maintained on an ongoing basis. Many people will devote a lot of time and energy to managing their relationship when they fall in love, but once they enter into marriage, they often let it fend for itself.
"Marriage cannot always maintain the enthusiasm of the newlyweds, and there are bound to be all kinds of problems. The key is whether the husband and wife are willing to work together to resolve these conflicts. Teacher Zhang said.
You must know that married life is not all smooth sailing, and even loving couples will inevitably encounter various setbacks and contradictions in life. The key is how to prevent and resolve these contradictions, so that the marriage can move forward steadily.
First of all, both couples should give each other enough personal space. Marriage is a joint venture between two independent individuals, and both parties need to have the opportunity to develop independently, rather than complete possession and integration. Proper independence keeps couples fresh and yearns for each other.
Second, learn to be considerate and tolerant of each other. Marriage is a process that constantly needs to learn and improve, and there are bound to be differences in the habits and ways of life of two people, and the key lies in whether they can compromise and reconcile. If you always hit the other person's soft underbelly, it will only lead to the alienation of the relationship in the end.
Third, be good at communication and coordination. It is inevitable that there will be various conflicts in life, but many problems can be resolved through timely communication. If you choose to avoid and do not express your thoughts and demands, the problems are more likely to accumulate to the point where you can't bear them.
At the same time, we should always pay attention to the details of our married life. No matter how small the issue is, such as sharing household chores and managing household expenses, both husband and wife need to reach a consensus. Only by starting from these small points can a harmonious and stable family be built.
In addition, it is important to maintain good emotional communication. Don't let marriage be reduced to a simple life partnership, but maintain a certain amount of emotional connection and expression. A warm greeting and an affectionate hug can bring spiritual comfort to both parties.
Only when the husband and wife work together to maintain the marriage can it always remain as bright as new and drive all the way to a better future.
Chapter 3 "Care" of Marriage: Society Must Not Be Absent
Marriage issues are not only about individuals, but also need the attention and support of society. After all, a stable marriage and family is the foundation for the harmonious development of society.
First of all, the state should introduce a more complete legal system for marriage to provide more protection for both parties. The introduction of a cooling-off period for divorce is a good example of this, which reflects the value that the state attaches to marriage and family.
In addition, a professional marriage counseling agency can also be established to provide professional counseling and assistance to people who are in marital difficulties. Some couples, due to their own limitations, are unable to objectively analyze and solve problems, and need the intervention and guidance of a third party. Marriage issues are not only about individuals, but also need the attention and support of society. After all, a stable marriage and family is the foundation for the harmonious development of society.
First of all, the state should introduce a more complete legal system for marriage to provide more protection for both parties. The introduction of a cooling-off period for divorce is a good example of this, which reflects the value that the state attaches to marriage and family. In addition, a professional marriage counseling agency can also be established to provide professional counseling and assistance to people who are in marital difficulties. Some couples, due to their own limitations, are unable to objectively analyze and solve problems, and need the intervention and guidance of a third party.
Local governments can also start building more public services to meet the needs of different households. For example, a 24-hour nursery school has been established to reduce the pressure of childcare; Set up a matrimonial repair station to provide timely repair services to families in need. All these measures can alleviate the problems encountered in married life to a certain extent.
At the same time, all sectors of society should also take the initiative to pay attention to and support marriage and family. For example, employers can create a more relaxed working environment for employees by establishing more family-friendly policies, including flexible working hours and maternity leave. Neighbors can also build a relationship of mutual help and give understanding and support in life.
In short, a stable marriage is not only related to personal happiness, but also the cornerstone of the harmonious development of society. This requires the attention and maintenance of the whole society, and only in this way can marriage and family truly become a warm harbor.
Chapter 4 The Self-Interpretation of "Not Married".
In addition to marriage and divorce, "not marrying" has gradually become a new way of life. More and more people choose to live independently, rejecting the traditional marriage model, and they have their own unique outlook on life and values.
Previously, it was widely believed that unmarried people were "leftover women" or "leftover men", which was a passive choice. But now, more and more people are actively choosing to be independent because they find that marriage is not the only way out in life.
The thinking behind "not marrying" is that marriage no longer represents happiness, but can instead become a shackle that restricts individual freedom and development. Some people choose to devote more time and energy to their careers and hobbies, believing that this will make life more colorful.
In addition, many young people have also lost confidence in the traditional marriage model. They observe the marital problems around them and feel the pressures and challenges that marriage brings, so they choose to stay away from marriage. They believe that happiness and freedom are more important than marriage.
Of course, not all "unmarried" people do so by subjective choice. There are some people who are unable to realize their dream of marriage due to various objective reasons, such as economic conditions, family environment, etc. But whatever the reason, they have chosen their own way of life.
People who are "unmarried" are often seen as "lone rangers" who lack purpose and a sense of belonging in life. But that's not the case, and they can live life to the fullest. As the heroine of "The Island Bookstore" says, "I can not get married, but I can't not live".
Unmarried people can also achieve self-worth in other ways. They can focus on career development and start their own career blueprint; You can also devote yourself to various social welfare and volunteer activities to serve others in another way; You can even travel and enrich your life.
In short, "not marrying" is not a defect or shameful status, but an independent and free lifestyle choice. In this process, individuals can also find happiness and fulfillment. As long as it is a choice from the heart, why care about the judgment of the world?
As the famous poet Yu Guangzhong said, "You are an independent person, and no one can erase your independence unless you compromise with the world." "Everyone has the freedom to choose their own path in life, and marriage should not be a necessary trajectory in life.
Chapter 5 The Future of Marriage: Diversified Directions
With the continuous progress of society, the form of marriage is also quietly changing. The traditional "monogamy" is gradually being replaced by a more pluralistic marriage model.
We can see that new forms of marriage such as same-sex marriage and open marriage are emerging. These new marriage models break the traditional mindset and provide people with more diverse choices.
For example, the legalization of same-sex marriage is an important manifestation of social progress. The gay community, which was originally seen as "alternative", now has the legal right to marry, which is not only in line with the trend of the times, but also reflects the inclusiveness of society.
Another example is that open marriages are also gaining traction. In this marriage model, the husband and wife can have a certain degree of freedom and not be bound by the traditional concept of marriage on the premise of maintaining basic loyalty. This new form of marriage gives people more choice.
Of course, in addition to the change in the form of marriage, the concept of marriage itself is also undergoing profound changes. More and more people are beginning to reflect on the traditional marriage model and no longer regard marriage as the only way to live.
Some people believe that marriage is just a choice in life, not the only way out. A single life can also be exciting, and even allow people to gain more freedom and independence. Marriage is no longer the only source of happiness.
At the same time, the current divorce rate is rising. This reflects the fact that more and more people are choosing to voluntarily give up a marriage that cannot be renewed and seek new possibilities for life.
In this regard, some experts pointed out that divorce is not a bad thing, and the key is to face it with a positive attitude. If the marriage can no longer be maintained, it is a kind of wisdom to stop the loss in time.
#婚姻全解析: In-depth discussion on marriage, divorce, and non-marriage