Dear teachers, parents and friends, dear students, Good evening! First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your graduation! This is an indelible milestone in life. The theme of my commencement speech in 2023 is " Cabbage ". The outside world is really not as quiet as everyone imagines, the ideal is very plump, and the reality is very skinny. It's very roll everywhere, and the roll makes you feel very prickly, but you think about it and feel that you are really quite a dish, so it is referred to as "roll-heart-vegetable".
A few days ago, a netizen who has been working for 10 years left a message under my WeChat public account: "Every time I feel depressed at work, I will come to see Dean Mao's speech. Let yourself take a break, calm down, and be very healing. It would have been better if I had seen it ten years earlier. There is a post below that said: "I haven't experienced the whipping of society, and it is actually difficult to really understand it when I saw it ten years earlier." ”
Today I am talking about my in-depth thinking and perception in the past year, which you must understand, but you may not be able to learn it immediately, let alone truly understand and do it. But I still hope that I may have a little heart-piercing advice today, and can take root in everyone's hearts like a seed, and then one day in the future, when we encounter a certain problem, I can remember that at the graduation ceremony, the dean reminded us, would it be better to deal with this kind of thing? The topic I'm going to talk about today is: How many diamonds do you have? The main thing is to prepare for future difficulties in advance.
After each of our students have gone through the cultivation, their faces are now somewhat sober to see through everything, but their hearts are somewhat at a loss. We don't dare to say that many students are still in the state of "no princess's life, all princess's illness", but I would like to quote Zhu Xi's "Reading Books", please ask yourself a good question. Half an acre of square pond opened, and the sky and clouds and shadows wandered together.
Q: Where is the canal as clear as promised? For there is a source of living water. We have to ask: how can the half acre of square pond we have cultivated make it enlightened? What kind of source do we have to ensure that we are always in a state of "living water" in the future journey, that is, where is the core competitiveness? The mobile phone is a personal bodyguard, and the time does not leave the hand, and once the machine leaves the hand, there is no soul. Certainly not a core competency.
What are core competencies? We may have as many shortcomings as the stars, and we may have as few as the sun, but as soon as the sun comes out, the stars are all ignored and cannot be seen. This is the core competitiveness, which is what I call diamond today. Of course, the core competitiveness that everyone thinks of is our professional quality, and what I want to talk to you about today is other dimensions, because professional quality has been systematically trained in school, so I will not repeat it. But lifelong learning is essential. It's not empty pockets that hold you back, it's empty heads. Where footsteps can't be measured, good books can. Reading is to take the highest level of growth at the lowest cost. Of course, it is better to travel thousands of miles than to read 10,000 books. If you don't see the world, you can't have a worldview. Traveling thousands of miles, it is better to be guided by a master. But what can change you may be the south wall.
Our future journey will face a lot of uncertainty, which will bring us panic, including the impact of AI, the whipping of society, and various involution competition. We need to deal with the uncertainty of the future with the certainty of core competitiveness.
In fact, the road to success is not crowded at all, especially in the second half, why? Because there are too many people who lack hearts! I want you to make sure you don't become that kind of person. The most common lack of heart is the mistaken belief that hard work is the core competitiveness. Don't we try to do it? Of course not! I'm referring to the fact that the importance of effort is not in the top three, but at most in the fourth. Don't talk about how many hours a day you work, we need to torture our souls inwardly: Do you work so hard to produce any significant results? Why not? Maybe it's because we're just buried in the cart, but we rarely look up at the road, and we get caught up in transactionalism, and we rarely focus on the most important things. We're not wrong when we say "roll up your sleeves and work hard", but you're already in the 3% or even 2% of the population, so stop trying to be a way to anesthetize yourself or even self-absorb. Wealth is not in the number of skills, and the advantage is not in the situation. "We want to avoid the kind of effort that is called hard work in behavior and useless work in physical terms, and don't pretend to work hard, because the result will not accompany you in acting. When you put yourself in the busy, there is a kind of numbing steadiness. This is very dangerous.
So what is the core competitiveness of diamond level? 1. Thinking like a philosopher is the core competitiveness For example, Zhuangzi took a few students to the mountain and saw a thousand-year-old tree, and the trees next to it were all cut down, but this old tree has not been cut down, why? Because this thousand-year-old tree is intertwined and bent around, you will definitely not be able to become a pillar if you cut it back, and it is not cost-effective to cut it back to burn the fire, so it preserves itself. The students of Zhuangzi realized something in an instant.
On the way back, they went to a farmer's house under the mountain, and the owner wanted to kill a chicken to treat them warmly, and there were many hens in the farmer's house, so which one should they kill? The hen that can't lay eggs must be killed first. The students of Zhuangzi were instantly confused, just said that uselessness can save their lives, and now they find that useless will also lose their lives, because hens can only save themselves by constantly laying eggs. The students asked Zhuangzi: Are we good or not? If you were a Zhuangzi, how would you answer? Zhuangzi said that this is where great wisdom is needed. We need to grasp the best balance between useful and useless in different contexts.
It's very esoteric and hard to understand, right? For example, I was very pleased to have observed the appearance and quality of the graduates up close at the degree conferment ceremony today, but at the same time, I was a little worried that everyone did not know how to hide their weaknesses. For example, if you have three first-class skills, you must not show them all at once in the workplace, you can show the most important one. Wait for a year to do one more at the right time, and another year to perform a third one, so that people will think you are unfathomable and low-key. If you show it all at once, it may lead others to think that as long as you exist, there is nothing else to do. And so you're quickly targeted. You may wonder if you're good to your girlfriend, but why does she keep targeting you? Because you don't have insight into human nature.
It is bitter because the heart is sour, and it is mean because the foundation is thin.
If the eyes are red, the heart will be black, and the heart will be hot. So, don't behave too perfectly, because too perfect people hurt other people's self-esteem, and then you may die a miserable death in the workplace. We have to learn to hide two things, one is our heart, and the other is our ability. This is the dialectical relationship between useful and useless.
2. Learning to deal with human nature is the core competitiveness Don't deal with people, learn to deal with human nature. On my mother's 80th birthday, I invited my friends and family to a party. The day before the banquet, my daughter asked me, "Dad, do you want to say a few words at the banquet tomorrow?" I said, "Yes!" Do you have any suggestions? She said, "Can you stop mentioning my position and income tomorrow?" I asked why it couldn't be mentioned? Actually, I just wanted to hear what she had to say. She replied to me very soberly: Most of our relatives and friends do want us to live well, but few of them really want us to live better than them! So, why bother? Therefore, don't only see the brilliance of human nature, but also see the weaknesses of human nature, and learn to deal with human nature, which is the core competitiveness that everyone is very easy to ignore. 3. Ascending thinking and in-depth thinking are essential core competitiveness
Choice is more important than effort! Charlie Munger once said, Don't chase mediocre opportunities! If you catch any ball and swing any shot, in fact, the probability of you hitting a bad ball will also increase. Think about when, where, and what opportunities are worth selling, otherwise you may be half-effective or even futile. Just like in daily debates, remember to "always compete with your peers, not with your peers." Less entanglement with people, more in nature. Stay away from garbage people, because "it is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge." The villain takes revenge, day long". Think about it: What kind of person do you most want to be in five to seven years? What kind of person do you least want to be? Is what you're doing now pointing to that goal or deviating from that goal? How do you do a self-reflection review? What's your best diamond right now? You can write two large pages on your resume, but now if you were to condense it into 5 to 6 keywords, what would you think of? Go back tonight and think about it, how many diamonds do you have?
Therefore, many times we need deep thinking and ascending thinking to make us invincible, and the only way to do this is 4 words: share worries for the country. It is necessary to bind one's own ego to the greater ego of the country. If our professionalism can really achieve the worries of the country, you don't have to worry about not having food. Let's not talk about the feelings of the family and the country, let's talk about whether you can share the worries of the country.
In addition to ascending thinking, we also need to reduce dimensionality and tolerate it, keep weak and leave blank spaces, including accepting ourselves. Chinese painting has the art of blank space, and life also needs to have the wisdom of blank space. We usually have times when we can't hold it anymore, so sometimes we also need chicken soup for the soul, don't think that chicken soup for the soul is just a retreat, and sometimes it still works. My experience is that when something is completely out of our control, we can actually use chicken soup for the soul to make peace with our hearts.
Fourth, the understanding of "uncontrollable chicken soup for the soul, controllable is to go all out" is the core competitiveness in real life controllable proportion will not exceed 20%, 80% is not controllable by us. I'll give you an example: a few months ago, my wife and I were hospitalized at the same time with four elderly people, which was obviously uncontrollable. Later, my mother-in-law passed away, and on the morning of my farewell to my mother-in-law, my mother was undergoing surgery. So that morning, I accompanied my lover to say goodbye to my mother-in-law, and I was actually very uncomfortable, and I had to comfort my lover. Then I didn't eat lunch and took a taxi and flew dozens of kilometers to visit my parents in the hospital. There are many situations in life that are like this, uncontrollable, helpless, chicken feathers, and even disasters.
What cannot be cured must be endured. 无法治愈的就要学会承受。
How did I make peace with my heart that day? I thought it wouldn't be easy for me to fly back, since I had to fly, let's get together, and it would improve a little efficiency. This self-consolation of the Ah Q spirit is also a kind of self-liberation. When you encounter difficulties, you think that it will be good to grow in the future, but later you find that it does not grow, but you just want to open. The calmness of life is not about seeing how many things clearly, but about how many things are underestimated. The world is not a pure land, and everyone has their own suffering. If you have to move forward, suffering will retreat.
Life is trivial, when faced with a smile. In addition to life and death, everything else in the world is bruises.
Behind every smile, there is a soul that grits its teeth.
Self-aware of warmth and coldness, difficult for others to understand. Everything is suffering, and the only way is to cross it.
Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, but it depends on who can disguise it better.
But within our control, don't use chicken soup for the soul. I was very stressed in the previous period because I had all the big things in the pipeline. My real experience is that if several big things accumulate on my mind, I will be anxious, and I can't solve it with chicken soup for the soul, and the most effective way is to get things done. Just like there are three big rocks blocking the way on the road I drive through, I have to do everything I can to integrate all the resources and move these three big stones as soon as possible. But if you don't move away, you'll keep pressing me.
It is worth mentioning: what is a resource? When you go out for a meal together and get to know a certain big cow, do you think it's a resource? Not necessarily. Resources have three attributes: first, scarcity; the second is matching, if you don't match, it's useless for you to know; The third is the possibility of two-way flow. If you want to have two-way running and mutual empowerment, you must consider whether you can have the core competitiveness of diamond energy. Within our control, don't use chicken soup for the soul, we must give priority to doing everything we can to solve problems, especially to improve our ability to solve complex problems, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable.
5. Insight into the true meaning of "20:80 rule" and "completion and perfection" is the core competitiveness We need to learn to spend 80% of our time on the 20% most important things and 20% of the time on the 80% less important things. This is a lesson that I have learned in the past that I have done particularly badly. I used to think that everything should be perfect, and I wanted to optimize everything, but later I found that I became a typical "do everything", tired myself half to death, and as a result, I delayed the big things, and the gains outweighed the losses. There is always a cry that makes people grow up in an instant.
You don't mean to be moody, you're just negotiating with yourself.
You don't want to live anymore, it's not that you want to die, you just don't want to live like this.
Done is better than perfect. For 20% of the things that matter, it's important to strive for excellence and perfection. And 80% of things that are not so important, almost fine. We must learn not to forget our original intention and move forward. Warren Buffett said: If you want to list the top 25 things that you think are important, what should you do after you are sorted by importance? He said: "Don't do things 6-25 until the first 5 most important things are done. I haven't quite done it yet, but I'm trying to do it. Let's encourage each other and appreciate the key points. The vast majority of people will do some 6-25 things along the way in the process of doing the first five things, but this is a misconception.
I seem to have been doing it slowly lately. Now the vice presidents report to me, if I feel that it does not belong to the first five major matters, and it is in charge of the TA, I will say "you decide" and let the TA handle it with full authority. I'm going to hurry up and do the first five big things that are more important. Of course, there will be a lot of imperfections in many things after this trade-off, there will be some regrets and even fires, but it doesn't matter, because it belongs to the 80% less important category, and there must be room for error. Not pursuing perfection in everything is a compulsory lesson in life. The flowers are not fully bloomed, the moon is not full, and the mid-mountain is slightly drunk.
Why worry about profit and loss, in the end, the small man wins.
Life has to be a little cracked before the sun can shine in. Just like a few days ago, I was answering questions about the college entrance examination for our school on Qingdao TV, I will not promote China University of Petroleum perfectly, and I will even complain about one or two things appropriately, so that it will seem more real, and it will make people feel unrealistic if it is too perfect. Sixth, not to be a child who lacks a heart eye is the core competitiveness I have been short of heart and eye many times, for example, I have been practicing Pudu sentient beings in the past, teaching without class, and teaching people tirelessly. Actually, it's only when I'm on the podium, for example, that I have to do that, and I don't do it anymore when I leave the podium. Why? For though the rain is heavy, it does not moisten the grass without roots.
Although the Tao is wide, it only crosses those who are destined. So I won't talk to people about it before they ask me for advice. The law is not lightly preached, the Tao is not sold cheaply, the teacher is not on the way, and the doctor does not knock on the door. "That's the truth, otherwise it might be thankless.
Nietzsche said: The reason I'm so smart is because I never waste time and energy on unnecessary people and things. The stones of other mountains can attack jade, and it is also the core competitiveness. I used Peppa Pig's voice for navigation, in fact, it was just for the sake of childlike innocence, but once when I was driving on the highway, Peppa Pig said an extremely classic sentence, and I immediately memorized it. He said, "Smart children know how to learn from their mistakes.
Super smart kids know how to learn from other people's mistakes.
With an accident-prone area ahead, are you a super smart kid? Why are there so many people around us who lack heart? Not to mention learning from the mistakes of others, many people will stumble on the same stone three times, five or even ten times, and the end result is: not defeated by others, but eliminated by themselves. The further you get on the road, the more they jump into the ditch. Young people are fearless. It's not that I'm not afraid of tigers, it's that I don't know tigers. Is there a tiger with me? Seeing a virtuous person may not be thinking about it, but seeing a virtuous person must have lingering palpitations.
7. Shielding power is also the core competitiveness Shielding power is easier said than done. I greatly admire Li Xue, director of the Department of Humanities and Social Sciences of Harbin Institute of Technology and dean of the School of Foreign Chinese, and her biggest inspiration to me is her strong shielding power. Sometimes when talking about what she has been busy with recently, she will joke: "You are really energetic and worrying, isn't it good to give others some freedom and space to make decisions?" It's such a small thing, you can let it go and let your partner in charge take care of it. ”
Therefore, she was able to preside over the approval of two national first-class undergraduate courses, and presided over the second prize of the national teaching achievement award. There are many other impressive achievements, such as the establishment of the "National Language Technology and Digital Economy Research Center" of the State Language Commission. And her own state has always been very good, and this kind of shielding power and concentration are very worthy of our learning.
8. Do right things are the core competitiveness Therefore, the first step should be: Do rightthings. Do the right thing, follow the right person, read the right book. The second step is: Dothings right, do the right thing in the right way. The third step is: Lessis more. To be simple, learn to do subtraction. For example, I have declined more than 20 lecture invitations this year, and only applied for those programs that I had to apply. 9. Comprehend that "the movement of the opposite, the use of the weak" is the core competitiveness We also have to learn the 40th chapter of the Tao Te Ching, "the movement of the opposite, the use of the weak", and more importantly, reverse thinking. To be weak is to be weak. For example, in the workplace, we need to follow the elite, but follow the public.
10. Accurate expression is the core competitiveness I hope that graduates will not have the opportunity to be interrupted by others to ask "what do you want to say" when they speak on various occasions. If you talk for a long time and others have to interrupt and ask you what you want to say, you must be vigilant yourself, are you expressing it accurately? Those who can speak will say that they are drunk, and those who can't speak will break their hearts. But it's not just about eloquence, it's about higher-order thinking and precise expression.
For example, when you are asked to introduce yourself during the interview, many students may say step by step: I graduated from the School of Foreign Chinese of China University of Petroleum, majoring in English...... In fact, what people want to ask is your quality and the compatibility of your diamond diamond with the position you are pursuing.
Another example is when the interviewer asks you: What projects have you worked on? Some students just list what projects they have done. In fact, people ask about your contribution to the project and the relevant effective ideas, so as to judge whether you are a usable talent and a reliable partner.
Precise expression needs to be based on higher-order thinking and insight, and even needs to be interpreted into a compelling narrative. I once shared a report with a retired ambassador to a foreign country, and I saw that he was actually reading the whole script, and the photographer waited for 10 minutes and couldn't take a picture of him looking up. only speaks for the common people, and he does not dare to forget the country. I hope that if our students have the opportunity to speak on stage, they can write half out of script, but they must not read from beginning to end, otherwise what kind of talents from the "three countries" (national and regional, international communication, and international organizations) will be talked about? We need to consider whether the content we are talking about on stage is informative, nutritious, storytelling, interesting, or ask ourselves, if you were invited to come up today, what can you say so that everyone feels that they are not wasting everyone's time.
11. Choosing good friends is a core competitiveness that is easy to be ignored From the perspective of falling in love, many girls will say that as long as that person is good to me, it's okay. I tell you, he's definitely good to you when he's chasing you, 18 months later? I think the first thing is to choose the good and make friends, and to choose people who are kind and reliable. As for whether he is good to you or not, it is second. The same goes for choosing friends. A kind person, no matter how bad he is, he can't be any worse. An unreliable person, no matter how he pretends to be, is also a hidden danger, even if TA is willing to make some changes for you now, but "the country is easy to change, but the nature is difficult to change", how can we really change others? That's stupid and naïve "thinking too much". You can soberly ask yourself, "What are you trying to do?" What do you crave? "And then in the broad dimension of value and energy, how many diamonds do you have?
Twelve, to make up for the hard wounds is the core competitiveness of my positioning of myself is definitely not to make myself a perfect person. My goal is to be a person who has flaws but no flaws. Students, do you think we should build on our strengths and avoid weaknesses or make up for our weaknesses? In the past, I would say that it must be to make up for the weaknesses, but now I think more deeply, what do you need to make up for the weaknesses? Mend hard wounds! Other passing shorts do not need to be made up. The most important thing is to build on your strengths, not make up for them. Running hard and giving full play to your strengths is a better way to develop. As I said earlier, as soon as the sun comes out, all the stars are gone. There are still various problems and deficiencies in our college, but if we can take down the doctoral program of the first-level discipline and then be approved as a major social science project of the national social sciences or the Ministry of Education, then the problems of our college as many other stars may be shielded by the sun's rays of two bombs and one star, which is the power of the asymmetric game of the core competitiveness of diamond diamonds.
At the same time, we should also make a group of friends who have shortcomings but no hard injuries, but don't be our friends, and even have inconsistent views. Some people say: If the three views are correct, please be my friend; If you have good facial features, please be my boyfriend. Of course, the premise is that the three views must be correct.
13. Humanistic literacy rooted in the heart is the core competitiveness We often talk about cross-cultural communication skills or professional qualities, to cite a few real cases of Chinese students abroad, some students do not know how to thank TA when the professor helps them open the door. Some dissertation acknowledgments do not carefully thank the supervisor. Some people saw that there was free coffee, so they took such a big cup of water and poured away one-fifth of their coffee, which is an existence without literacy. Therefore, these humanistic qualities are also core competitiveness. Of course, if you have a sharp blade in your hand, you should have compassion in your heart. 14. The ability to thread the eye of the needle and play the piano is the core competitiveness that needs to be cultivated I can do multitasking ability to play the piano, but the focus and concentration of the eye of the needle is a point that I have done particularly badly in the past. Recently I've been doing a couple of things:
The first is my second National Social Science Completion Project, which is normally 200,000 words, and I wrote 420,000 words, with a copy ratio of 1.95%. The main thing is to strive for the completion of the project to be rated excellent, of course, the proportion of excellence in each batch is only about 6%, which is particularly difficult, but it is worth working for. Second, I want to apply for major projects funded by the Ministry of Education in the later stage, I have written 460,000 words, and I will submit them in three days, and there are only 15 major projects in 26 disciplines in the country, and linguistics is divided into one at most, and most of them are in the Chinese community, which is really extremely difficult to exist. But I can't lie down, I still have to work hard, although I know that hard work may not be rewarded. Third, the day before yesterday, I submitted a monograph to the publishing house, "Guidelines for the Selection of Topics for Humanities and Social Sciences Projects (25 Disciplines)", which is the annual key project of the publishing house. When the leaders of the publishing house saw that the word count of WORD was actually 1.29 million words, they were pleasantly surprised and prepared to split it into two parts. This is the heaviest tome I spent 10,000 hours writing that can benefit humanities and social science scholars, and all the 26 project analysis reports that have been published on the "Scientific Research Langyu List" official account are no longer needed (2023 National Social Science Fund Project Overall Analysis Report), and more than 300,000 words of the second edition have been abandoned, and they have been comprehensively rewritten and upgraded according to new ideas.
There are definitely more than the above things, and there are more than 10 major events to be dealt with at the same time, such as the promotion and follow-up of doctoral programs in first-level disciplines, and the qualification evaluation of degree points. There are a few real insights to complete these big projects: First, as long as these things are planned and willing to be done by me, and they are completed, they will have milestone value, and it is worth it no matter how difficult and tired it is. So, if something you do willingly, there's nothing to complain about. At most, it is self-deprecating that "you can't blame your parents for your hard life". When I can focus on accomplishing a few big things, even if I am very tired, when I do one, the psychological stress and anxiety will be much more relaxed. The second is that spending 10,000 hours can really do something that you are satisfied with. Of course, 10,000 hours of effort alone won't solve the problem. The reason why I gave up two manuscripts of more than 400,000 words is, in the final analysis, because the original idea could not be accurate in one step, otherwise there would be no need to take those detours. However, the finish line is very important, and the scenery along the way is also good, this is a spiritual journey of self-transformation. The third is that once you have a state, you must concentrate on writing hard. When you don't have a state, you may not be able to grind 1,000 words for two weeks, and when you are in a state, you may write 5,000 to 10,000 words a day. After all, we are not immortals, and it is impossible for us to enter the state of the source of literature and thought at any time, so it is especially important to be energetic and concentrated. Fourth, it requires the concentration of the eye of the needle, and at the same time, it also needs to take into account the overall consideration of playing the piano. Deadline is the primary productive force. It is common for things to be piled up at work, and we need to enhance the shielding force, lock the major events at the level of two bombs and one star, and produce the results of two bombs and one star. Winning respect with strength and seeking support with contribution is the only way for us to be invincible in the workplace. Fifth, "Dreams are always there, what if they come true?" "Do your best first and then settle your destiny, the premise is to do your best first. As long as one thing is important enough, even if there is only a 10% chance, it must be fought for with 100% effort and wisdom.
Fifteen, the six sides of the exquisite, usable and credible are also the core competitiveness Another dimension of insight into human nature is why it is necessary to be exquisite in eight sides, and it is enough to be exquisite in six sides. The two sides left, one side is a thorny rose , but not a cactus. Don't show that you talk well to the other person, but the other person thinks you are easy to talk. On the other hand, there must be a diamond that can win the porcelain work, which is our theme today: core competitiveness. Sincerity comes first, but only sincerity will become silly and sweet. Sincerity, together with other elements, is the king of bombing.
In the current job market, there are too many people available, with a playground full of masters and a corridor full of doctors, not to mention undergraduate graduates. But there are very few credible people, and people can seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, but they cannot see profit and forget righteousness. To make yourself available, credible, and warm and caring, you can't win. Making people feel comfortable and being unconditionally trusted is the highest level of emotional intelligence. Finally, I would like to quote a poem to summarize: The peach blossom petals are intentional, and the words are ashamed to borrow the pipa language.
At first hearing, I didn't understand the meaning of the song, and I looked back at the people who were already in the song. When you think back to the opening ceremony, does it feel like the first two months? After five years of work, looking back on today's graduation ceremony, you may also think that it was three or five weeks ago. At that time, everyone was already in the song. I hope that everyone can play the gorgeous music of their own life.
What is the brightest light in the world? I think I was walking a long way in the dark of night, and suddenly I saw a little bean-like light in the distance. Hopefully, everyone will live as a light, because you don't know who will come out of the darkness through your light. Hopefully, when we meet again, we will all be higher up, walking with the Light. Welcome students to come home often, I am waiting for you here! Thank you!