How many children do you have to be happy? Is it better to have a boy or a girl?
In the past, you would be told that it was good to have two sons. Because most of the people in the previous life were patriarchal, they felt that they had a son to rely on, and when their daughter got married, they were just spilled out of the water, and they couldn't count on it.
But as the children grew up, the family with two sons gradually became overwhelmed. Now that I am married, unlike in the past, I could get rid of it by building two houses in my hometown, and now a car and a house are standard, and the bride price is indispensable. It costs about one million for one son to get married, and two sons are two million.
The parents of most families are ordinary people, doing ordinary jobs, and they can't earn two million after working hard for a lifetime. In order to let their sons start a family, their parents can only carry hundreds of thousands of debts, and they have to work to earn money at an old age.
It is precisely because I have experienced the hardships of giving birth to two sons, so now you use this question to ask the people around you, and most of the answers you get are: a son and a daughter are the happiest, and both children and daughters are just made up of a good word, and parents don't have to be so tired.
Although it is easy for parents to have a son and a daughter, when the parents are old, the most difficult thing is not the family of two sons, nor the family of two daughters, but the family of one son and one daughter, and the most difficult one is the daughter.
A family of two sons with minimal stress
The most real problem of having a son and having a daughter is that the pressure is different. When you give birth to a son, you have to build a house, earn money for him to marry a daughter-in-law, and help with grandchildren. To give birth to a daughter, you only need to marry a few quilts, and if you have the conditions, you can marry a little money.
Compared with the cost of a daughter's marriage and a son's marriage, it is not worth mentioning.
Giving birth to two sons, the most tired are the parents. Two houses and two cars, houses in big cities are often millions, and houses in small cities are tens of millions, not counting the bride price and three gold, etc., which already makes people feel a lot of pressure.
I used to feel that I was proud to have a son, and I swore not to give up if I didn't give birth to a son, and those families who had one daughter too much and two or three sons didn't have too many began to regret it. How arrogant you were when you were young, how tired you are now.
However, for families with two sons, the parents are the least stressed when they get older.
Regardless of whether the parents favor the eldest son or the younger son, when the son reaches the age of starting a family, the parents will buy the family business for the son and handle the marriage event.
Raising children to prevent old age is rooted in the concept of the older generation, and in the future, when the parents are old, the sons will naturally have to fulfill the obligation to support, regardless of whether the parents are partial or not, this responsibility cannot be shirked.
In rural areas, most families with multiple sons and daughters are the sons supporting their parents in their old age, and the daughters should return to their parents' homes several times in their spare time.
Although an only child can enjoy all the love of his parents, he also has to bear the pressure of supporting his parents. In a family with two sons, although the love of the parents should be shared equally, the burden of providing for the elderly should also be shared.
Parents are elderly and need to be cared for, and having a brother to help with the burden can relieve a lot of stress.
A family of two daughters, there is a way out
In the last era, if there were two daughters in the family and no son, they had no confidence to speak. But when they get old, the parents of the two daughters are the most happy.
The daughter is the intimate little padded jacket of the parents, and this sentence makes sense. Boys are more rational, girls are more emotional, and when they grow up, girls are more likely to empathize with their parents, understand their parents' painstaking efforts, and are the most filial.
Because they don't have sons, their parents raise their two daughters as sons, and when they are old in the future, they naturally count on them. And in order not to let her parents be looked down upon, daughters will try their best to be good to their parents and support their parents in their old age.
With the development of transportation and the convenience of the Internet, many girls will choose to marry far away. In order to rely on the elderly, parents will also leave a way out for themselves.
There are two daughters in the family, and the parents will choose to let the more intimate and sensible daughter stay at home, recruit a husband for her, and leave the parents' property to this daughter and son-in-law, and in the future, the daughter and son-in-law will provide for them in old age.
Such retreats are common in rural areas.
Which daughter does the parents prefer, most of the property will be given to her in the future, so that she can provide for her own old age. After enjoying more love and support from my parents, I naturally have to pay a little more. Therefore, the family of two daughters will not have conflicts because of the distribution of their parents' property.
The person who inherits the property of his parents is the one who supports his parents in their old age.
In a family with a son and a daughter, the daughter is the most tired
It is stressful to have two sons, and having two daughters, without a son as a backing, has become the expectation of many people. Although the concept of preference for sons has changed now, and many families even value their daughters more than their sons, when the children reach the age of starting a family, the concept of preference for sons begins to appear again.
A few days ago, I went shopping and met a mother playing outside with her son and daughter. The daughter looks to be over three years old, and the son looks to be eight or nine years old.
No matter what her daughter does, her mother thinks it's very cute. The daughter snatched her brother's toys, but the brother didn't give them to her, so the daughter cried and complained to her mother, and the mother turned her head and scolded her brother for a while, letting her brother let her sister.
The elder brother said dissatisfiedly: Mom, you are so partial, why don't you have to be scolded if your sister does something wrong, I can't do anything right. Although I am an older brother, why should I let her do anything? Is she your child, am I not?
Her mother said something that made me feel very uncomfortable.
She said that there is a reason why I favor my sister, she has only lived in front of me for twenty or thirty years, and when she gets married, she will not be able to be by her side. I am being good to her now, just to make up for the debt of not being able to be by her side in the future.
But you are different, I will be by your side for the rest of my life, and the family property that your father and I earn is also yours, and I will help you take care of the children. I gave my sister a lot of love, but this love doesn't cost money, and when you grow up in the future, you will get things that your sister doesn't have.
The boy's eyes widened: is it true?
Listening to this conversation between their mother and son, I understand why many girls were pampered by their parents when they were young, but after they got married, they found that their parents had changed and were not as good to them as they were when they were children. Obviously, the person I loved the most when I was a child was her, could it be that my previous feelings were an illusion?
Actually, it's not an illusion, it's a reality. Equality between men and women is mostly the rhetoric of parents, and in the face of some important choices, especially money, it can be seen that the love of parents is actually unequal.
The son inherits the family property, and the daughter provides for herself
For a family with a son and a daughter, the son inherits the family property. Parents have worked hard all their lives, and they are all paving the way for their son's happy life.
They earned money for their son, helped their son and daughter-in-law take care of the children, and worked hard for their son's small family. When he got older, he turned his head and asked his daughter to provide for his old age, praising his daughter for being more intimate than his son.
Why do parents have such a change?
1. Parents favor sons over daughters and spoil their sons unconditionally, resulting in sons having no sense of responsibility and feeling that it is appropriate for their parents to help them, and they just want to ask for it, not want to give.
When the parents are old, if they can't help their son, they will be regarded as a burden by their son. Parents have no choice but to pin their hopes for retirement on their daughters. Anyway, they are their own children, whether they are sons or daughters, as long as they provide for themselves.
If the daughter is not happy, the parents will complain that the daughter is not filial and morally kidnapped. This is also the reason why many women are reluctant to return to their parents' homes after getting married.
Second, parents are reluctant to drag their son down.
To what extent do some parents favor their sons? It's not enough to give all his family property to his son, but also to let his daughter make up for his son, and he values his son more than his own life.
When he got older, he was worried that his son would suffer hardships, so he pushed the responsibility of providing for the elderly to his daughter. No matter how much the daughter pays, she should be tired, as long as the son is not tired.
For them, giving birth to a son is to let him inherit the family property, and giving birth to a daughter is to give them a foundation for the elderly.
Because parents have different expectations of their sons and daughters, daughters are treated unfairly, and this conflict and disagreement accumulates over a long period of time, which not only affects family harmony, but may also have a negative impact on the parents' later life.
Think from a realistic perspective
In fact, whether it is a family with two sons, two daughters, or a son and a daughter, they will face various challenges and dilemmas in the issue of pension. The key is how we look at these issues, how we communicate with our children, and how we adjust our mentality.
As a parent, you should understand the difficulties of your children, and don't be overly biased towards one and chill the heart of the other. Don't be your child to be good to himself.
Whether sons or daughters, they are important members of the family and should have equal rights and opportunities. "Children and daughters" should be a symbol of happiness and integrity, rather than a simple tool for inheritance and pension.
The love between parents and children is mutual, which is like planting flowers, and it is not realistic to hope that the flowers will bloom particularly brightly without taking good care of the seeds of the flowers.
If parents can't change their own concepts, they also hope that those girls who are not favored can get out of the pain of their original family, grow up and experience, and become their own self and be their own backing. Believe that even if your parents don't love you that much, you're the best.
Finally, I would like to say that if parents want to have a smooth old age, they must not only have a correct attitude towards their children, but also have a calm mind. When people are old, it is better to rely on others than on themselves. Children have their lives, and instead of pinning their hopes on them, it is better to live their own lives.
Less expectation leads to less disappointment. Maybe there will be a different kind of harvest with a reassuring attitude.