"You get out of my house, I don't have a son like you, I don't want you anymore!"
This is the roar of an old father in rural Hunan facing his doctor's son Li Mingliang, and his son Li Mingliang is standing opposite him, looking indifferent.
When a neighbor came out to persuade Li Mingliang not to gnaw at home and go out to work, Li Mingliang began to make all kinds of excuses, saying that he was not feeling well.
In short, you can't go out to work, you have to stay at home and eat the old, and after you finish your parents and your little sister.
Why is a doctor reluctant to go out to realize his ambitions at a high-spirited age, but instead nests in his rural hometown to gnaw at the old?
Pride in the eyes of parents
Li Mingliang was born in 1978 in a rural village in Hunan, and a few years after he was born, a younger sister was added to the family.
As the eldest son in the family, Li Mingliang has had excellent academic performance since he was a child, and he is the pride of his parents and the object of his younger sister's worship.
Every year, when the exam results are announced, it is the happiest time for Li's father, because he knows that his son is going to earn face for himself again.
And Li Mingliang has never lived up to his father's expectations, and every time he comes home with a stack of awards, over time, the wall at home is covered with Li Mingliang's awards.
Every time I saw Li Mingliang take the certificate home, my father worked harder even when he was working.
Under the hard work of his father, Li Mingming's family has also become a well-known and solid family in the village, and it is the first in the village to pave the cement floor.
In this way, Li Mingliang studied all the way to university and went to study in other places, but a rural family really couldn't afford two people to study.
So under the discussion with Li Mingming's little sister, the little sister gave up her studies and began to go out to work.
With the encouragement of his family, Li Mingliang was successfully admitted to a master's degree in a university in Hunan.
But Li Mingliang did not agree, but was admitted to a better university in Sichuan for a doctorate with his own efforts.
Li Mingming's father
When he knew that Li Mingliang was admitted to the doctorate, the father didn't say a word, and invited several workers at the construction site to have a meal.
As soon as this sentence came out, several workers who had dinner together congratulated Li's father on giving birth to a good son, and when the son finished studying, he would wait to enjoy happiness in the future.
And Li Mingming's little sister was also happy for Li Mingliang after knowing this, she felt that she had done too much right to drop out of school for her brother to study, and after her eldest brother finished reading, she would definitely take more care of herself.
Just in the expectation of the family, Li Mingliang went to Sichuan and began his doctoral career.
After 9 years of doctoral study, I went home to gnaw at the old age
When he first came to Sichuan, although Li Mingliang was a bit introverted, he was still studying seriously, and he also published many papers during the period.
But after five or six years of studying, when his family asked him how long it would take for him to graduate, Li Mingliang couldn't say anything.
Despite this, Li Mingliang's parents didn't think much about it, only when their son encountered some difficulties in his studies, but out of trust from childhood to adulthood, his father continued to provide him with education.
In addition to the living expenses from his father, Li Mingliang also asked his little sister for money many times, and the little sister was without exception, as long as Li Mingliang opened her mouth, she would always send money to Li Mingliang.
During Li Mingming's doctoral studies, Xiaomei sent him a total of more than 40,000 yuan.
But after Li Mingliang read for 9 years, he suddenly returned to his hometown with his books in 2013.
After seeing their son come back, Li Mingliang's parents were also very happy, they felt that Li Mingliang had finally finished his Ph.D., and now he was going home to recuperate, and then it was time to go out and show his strength.
After Li Mingliang returned home, he had been living a life of stretching out his hands for food and opening his mouth, and his parents did not have any complaints about this matter.
In their opinion, it is very normal for Li Mingliang to go to school for so many years and take a break for a while.
But as the days passed, Li Mingliang showed no sign of being ready to go out to work, which made his parents start to worry about him.
Finally, one day half a year later, Li's father couldn't help it and began to ask Li Mingliang when he was going to go out to work.
When Li Mingliang heard this, he hesitated for a moment, and then went on to say that after a while, now he has a little problem with his body and needs to rest.
But what the parents didn't expect was that this period of time would be so long.
A year later, Li's father asked again when Li Mingliang was going to go out to work, but this time the answer was exactly the same as last time.
This time, his father finally couldn't bear it anymore, and he proposed to take Li Mingliang to a big hospital to see what was wrong with his body, but Li Mingliang refused.
In this way, Li Mingliang continued to lie at home, waking up during the day to eat and read, and reading with the light on at night, without the slightest intention of going out to work.
Gradually, the deeds of Li Mingliang lying at home and gnawing at home also spread, and the pride of the village became a person who gnawed at the old at home, and the gossip in the village slowly increased.
The most of them is that the children of the Li family must be stupid to read, otherwise why do people in their thirties only know such remarks lying at home.
Under the gossip in the village, Li Mingming's parents gradually lost patience and began to quarrel with Li Mingliang often.
As the number of quarrels increased, the quarrel between father and son gradually escalated from verbal quarrel to action, and Li's father also called the police several times because of this incident.
But as long as the police come to mediate, Li Mingliang will immediately become that harmless appearance of humans and animals.
However, when it comes to work, Li Mingliang's argument is that he is not in good health and has no way to go out to work, but when asked why he is not feeling well, Li Mingliang can't say anything.
After Li Mingliang gnawed at the old age for two years, Li's father finally broke out, and after so many years of Li Mingliang's study, the family had already changed from a wealthy family in the village to a debt-ridden family.
Even if there were a few big holes in the roof, he couldn't afford to hire someone to repair it, so Li's father could only sleep in a leaky room, and even the bed he slept on was kindly sent by others, otherwise he could only sleep on the ground.
Li Mingming's mother
Not only that, because of his hard work all year round, Li's father was already scarred, with a waist injury and a tumor on his hand.
But Li Mingliang couldn't see the hard work of his parents, and just blindly gnawed at home.
It wasn't until his father completely broke out and wanted to kick Li Mingliang out that Li Mingliang finally agreed to follow his father to see a psychiatrist.
Under the communication of the psychiatrist, Li Mingliang finally said his problem.
It turned out that as early as junior high school, Li Mingliang slowly developed depression due to great study pressure, but at that time, Li Mingliang didn't know what depression was, but felt that he was very pessimistic and misanthropic.
But such symptoms slowly disappeared when he was admitted to university, and it was his roommate during his doctoral degree who really caused him to have psychological problems completely.
During his Ph.D. studies, Li Mingliang didn't have any friends because of introversion, and the only person he knew was his roommate.
But his roommate's behavior during the day and at night is like two people, and he is very enthusiastic during the day, and he gets along very well with Li Mingming.
But at night, after Li Mingliang fell asleep, he would deliberately make a loud noise to wake him up, just to make him not rest well.
In such an environment, Li Mingliang can only rest for one or two hours a day, so naturally he has no energy to continue research.
In this way, after 9 years of studying for a doctorate, Li Mingliang finally couldn't bear such a torment and went to the academic affairs department to go through the procedures for dropping out, that is to say, Li Mingliang's doctorate did not finish.
Li Mingming's little sister
After Li Mingliang said his heart knot, the psychiatrist also analyzed the cause of Li Mingliang according to his symptoms.
That is, Li Mingliang is very psychologically immature, in other words, he is a childish personality, although he has grown up, but the psychological age is still stuck in childhood.
Later, Li Mingliang also received treatment from a psychiatrist and slowly walked out of the shadow in his heart.
But this devastated home doesn't know if it can be cured.
Information source: The program "Looking for Love"
epilogue
When he was young, Li Mingliang brought many enviable eyes to this family, but his parents ignored Li Mingliang's own mental health under this praise.
This also makes Li Mingliang always think that as long as he reads, anything can be solved, but reading is only a way, and anyone will eventually enter the society.
Li Mingming's experience also proves to everyone once again that in the process of children's growth, we must not only look at the grades and ignore the children's mental health.
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References:
20150722 episode of the TV show "Looking for Love".