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As the saying goes, "Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans." "In the process of children's growth, smart parents know how to guide and force them in a timely manner, so that their children go through three important "growths", so as to shape their tenacious character and correct values. These three growths are like a ladder of life, and each time they lead children to a higher level of mental maturity.
Growing up for the first time: discovering that you are not the center of the world
"Full of losses, humble benefits." When children are young, they are often surrounded by family members and the stars holding the moon, and it is easy to mistakenly think that they are the center of the world. However, the first step in growing up is for children to understand that they are not the core of the universe.
In the family, excessive spoiling may lead to a child's self-respecting personality. When they step out on campus or in society, this sense of self-centeredness suffers from many setbacks. For example, in school group activities, if children only think about their own ideas and do not take into account team members, they are likely to lack cooperation and be ostracized by their classmates. At this time, smart parents do not rush to solve problems for their children, but guide them to reflect on their own behavior, making them realize that everyone has their own ideas and needs, and the world does not revolve around them alone.
Another example is that when children play with their friends, they always compete for toys and do not know how to share, and the result may be to lose friends. At such times, parents can make their children understand that friendship and happiness can only be won by respecting others and considering their feelings through gentle communication.
When children first realize that they are not the center of the world, they begin to learn to be humble and pay attention to others, which is an important step towards maturity. This kind of transformation is not achieved overnight, and it requires parents to teach their children in their daily lives through words and deeds, so that their children can understand in small things. For example, when the family eats, parents can guide their children to serve the food for their elders first, instead of eating it themselves. Take your child out and encourage them to take the initiative to greet others and learn to be polite.
"No accumulation of steps, no thousands of miles; If you don't accumulate small streams, you can't become rivers and seas. These subtle educational accumulations will gradually make children understand that the world is very big, and they are only one part of it, and they must learn to live in harmony in the group and respect the existence and rights of others.
The second time I grew up: I found that no matter how hard I tried, there were still some things that I couldn't do anything about
"It is up to man to plan things, and it is up to heaven to make things happen." In life, no matter how hard we try, we will always encounter some situations that we cannot control. Children also need to experience such an awakening as they grow up.
When a child puts a lot of time and effort into revision for a particular exam, but the final result is not satisfactory, they may be filled with loss and frustration. At this time, parents should not simply comfort their children by saying "next time", but help their children understand that while effort is important, the results do not depend entirely on the individual's wishes. Some factors, such as the difficulty of the questions and the state of the exam, cannot be fully controlled.
Or the child actively participates in a competition and prepares carefully, but still fails to win. At this time, parents should let their children understand that life is full of uncertainties and imperfections, and not all efforts will be directly reciprocated. But this does not mean that the effort is meaningless, but to learn to accept the reality and adjust the mentality.
"If you lose your horse, you don't know if it's a blessing." Through these experiences, children will gradually understand that life is not all smooth sailing, and that there are moments of powerlessness that are not scary, but how to remain resilient and optimistic in the face of setbacks. Parents can share their own failures with their children to let them know that everyone is going through a difficult situation and that it's important to learn from them and move on.
When children are able to face the powerlessness of their efforts, they will become more open-minded and will no longer be devastated by momentary setbacks. The cultivation of this mentality will enable them to cope with various difficulties and challenges more calmly on the road of life in the future.
The third time I grew up: I know that there are some things I can't do, but I will still try my best to fight for them
"Tianxingjian, a gentleman strives for self-improvement." Although I understand that some things may not be able to change, I still try with all my might, which is a noble spiritual realm, and it is also the third important transformation in the growth of children.
For example, a child dreams of getting into a top university, but the competition is fierce, and the chances of success are slim. However, they do not give up because of this, and still insist on studying hard every day, participating in various tutoring sessions, and doing their best to improve themselves. Even if they don't succeed in the end, the efforts they put into the process will allow them to gain knowledge, build their will, and lay a solid foundation for future development.
Another example is that children see some injustices in society and know that it is difficult to change them on their own, but they still actively participate in volunteer activities and contribute to the improvement of the current situation. This spirit of knowing that you can't do anything embodies the love of life and the responsibility to take responsibility.
At this stage, parents need to be a strong supporter for their children, encouraging them to pursue their dreams bravely and be proud of their efforts no matter what the outcome is. At the same time, parents should also guide their children to take a correct view of gains and losses, so that they understand that the process of striving for their best is a value in itself, not just the final result.
When children have completed these three growths, they will have a mature mind, a strong will, and a positive attitude towards life. Smart parents know how to give their children the right pressure and guidance at the right time, so that they can continue to grow through frustration and reflection. Because parents know that only after experiencing these hardships can children truly face the ups and downs of life independently and spread their wings.
"The road is long, I will go up and down and seek." The road to children's growth is long and tortuous, and forcing them to go through these three growth times is the most valuable life wealth that parents give their children, and it is also the deepest care and expectation for their future.
Readers, do you have the same opinion?
Author: Lao Pang
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