01
Is the betrayal in marriage a page that can be turned over as long as it takes a long time? No, no, no, it will be there forever, and I don't know at which non-specific moment I will suddenly remember.
And then the real feeling of colic from the depths of your heart will tell you that you can't get over it.
There is a classic line in "Big Fish and Begonia", which says:
"I'll tell you what's the saddest thing, you meet someone, you make a mistake, you want to make up for it and you want to pay it off, only to find out in the end that you have no power to go back. The sins we have committed can never be remedied, and we can never pay off what we owe. ”
So I want to tell you that after the betrayal, there is no forgiveness.
I remember that there was an issue of "Wonderful Sayings" Ma Dong said: Who dares to say that he has a person who will never forgive in his life, and in the end, he has not let go of forgiveness.
Cai Kangyong said: That's not called forgiveness, that's called forget it.
It's not forgotten, it's not in the past, it's just forgotten. Do you think that's all there is to it? And the right people are also counted. At the same time, this also means that the belief that we must join hands with sideburns, and the determination to bear a destiny together, are also counted.
When all beliefs and aspirations collapse at this moment, the rest of life will become a long and endless punishment.
Once there is an estrangement between husband and wife, they can never get close again. There is reconciliation in this world, but it is not the same, if the betrayal can never be compromised and arranged, all that remains is exhaustion and indifference.
There must be short-term struggles, but it is not a process of "farewell", a final farewell. Since then, the two can no longer be close and trusting, and can only barely maintain cooperation in life.
02
Xu Ming (pseudonym) said this:
"I thought forgiveness would pass, but I didn't know that the debt of betrayal could not be repaid. It wasn't until I actually experienced it that I realized what I had lost and what I had undertaken. ”
So what did Xu Ming lose? He lost a true close love.
Although he was not divorced, his wife was still his nominal partner, but the intimacy, dependence, and sense of solidity and security in essence disappeared and could not be recovered.
From the discovery of Xu Ming's betrayal, his wife is like a different person, and silence is her norm. The wife is always expressionless at home, and it is almost impossible to cause any change in her expression, and the wife is more "virtuous" and "competent" than before. doesn't ask Xu Ming's whereabouts, no matter Xu Ming's whereabouts, and he won't check his mobile phone again.
Even if Xu Ming was willing to take the initiative to report his whereabouts, in exchange for his wife's unfazed feelings: "Well, I know." ”
Of course, his wife no longer cares about what Xu Ming goes through every day, and she doesn't have the patience and expression to respond to his sharing and discuss each other's future.
What is more "competent" about a wife? is more focused on children and housework than before, and what she should do is more sad than before, as if she wants to use busyness to shield those grievances that are pressed in the depths of her heart. And his wife's extreme politeness to Xu Ming really made him unable to vent, he didn't want to be like this, he would rather be slapped by his wife, as long as this matter can pass.
Because the family life at this time is infinitely heavy and depressing.
It's not cold violence, it's better than cold violence, it's a real despair and selfishness, that is, Xu Ming is regarded as a person who lives a life, except for being the father of the child, he is no longer his partner.
At first, Xu Ming thought that this was his wife's punishment for himself, and it would be fine after a while, but he didn't expect that it was really a cold heart.
03
It seems that overnight, a flower called "It Doesn't Matter" has bloomed in my heart.
After experiencing such a major setback and hurt as betrayal, it seems that there is nothing left to attract one's attention, let alone anything that can make oneself sadder and happier. This is not a disguised performance and expression, but a deep discouragement and negativity.
Maybe she also wants to regain her previous enthusiasm and change back to her former sunshine, and how much she wants to force herself, this thing has happened, so let's pass.
But in her heart, she just can't get over it, even if she forgets it one day, she will always remember a feeling of distress and coldness.
The heart is already cold, and that love can no longer be awakened.
From then on, the two of them are living their lives, and they will directly turn back to the coldest cooperative relationship, and you only need to play your actual role, which is enough. I don't need you to love me, and I don't need you to be loyal to me anymore, and at the same time, I don't have the passion to love you anymore.
Some things, disappearing is gone, and disappearing is gone.
So many people don't realize that it often takes a lifetime to pay for the impulse. It doesn't matter if you say sorry in exchange for every word, and it doesn't matter what kind of hurt you can make up for and apologize.
The collapse of trust, there is never a chance to reorganize, this is like a piece of slag falling on the ground, there is always a piece that you can't pick up.
Since then, the heavy life full of politeness and strangeness, the depressive life, is like a pest in the stomach, making people unable to vent.
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