On Weibo, I saw such a topic:
Is falling in love the same as doing business?
Truth be told, it's hard to confuse the two.
Doing business is a collision of interests; And falling in love is the intersection of two hearts.
If two people want to have a heart-to-heart, the most important thing is not the warmth on the surface, but not to treat love as a business from the bottom of their hearts.
Whether it is a husband and wife or a couple, there are three things, if you can experience them with each other, it must be true love.
Efficiency aside
Have you ever felt this way?
The current love seems to be a luxury.
Finding a partner, for modern people, is a process of efficiency.
A friend said that some time ago I had dinner with my parents and talked about my neighbor's son in his thirties.
He was recently on a blind date with a lady, and because he felt that the conditions of the two parties were matched, he was already preparing for the wedding.
What is laughable is that her parents agree with this "efficient" view of marriage and love.
It is wise to think that once you reach marriageable age, it is wise to get married quickly.
Then he began to urge her, hoping that she would find a suitable partner as soon as possible and stop picking and choosing.
How many people, in a daze, have turned blind dates into assembly lines.
They were carried by the torrent of time, and quickly completed the whole process from strangeness to acquaintance, from love to marriage.
However, marriage should be slow and see clearly.
If you don't know enough and rush into marriage, you will make your future self pay for the pain.
A friend said that she got the certificate in a hurry, but now she really regrets it because she found out that the other party was not what she wanted.
In the final analysis, the cultivation of feelings and the insight of character take time.
Don't marry for the sake of getting married.
Even if all the battles are battles for efficiency, but love is not.
Some people say that we go too fast for our souls to keep up.
Yes, if you are too busy, you will ignore your heart; If you rush too much, you will miss life.
Just like in the book "The Little Prince", there is a merchant who specializes in selling special pills.
He told the little prince that by swallowing one pill a week, people would no longer need to drink water, which would save a lot of time.
The little prince was puzzled and asked the merchant what he was doing with all this time.
The merchant replied that he could use the time to do whatever he wanted.
然而,小王子却表示:
If he had extra time, he preferred to walk slowly towards a well.
Don't blindly pursue speed.
Time is not only used for the pursuit of material and efficiency.
It is also used to feel life and experience beauty.
Forget the calculations
In the book "Whose Youth Is Not Confused", there is such a sentence:
"The so-called love at first sight is the intention of seeing the color, and the so-called eternity is just weighing the pros and cons."
It is undeniable that in this complicated world, some people regard love as a chess game.
Between the jumping chess pieces, trade-offs and calculations are intertwined.
In one episode of "Speak Up," a young woman hopes to get back her ex-boyfriend whom she broke up.
However, their stories are not as rosy as one might think, but full of complexity and calculation.
In order to find a partner from a wealthy family, she specially entrusted an aunt to help her find a candidate.
After the matchmaking was successful, she met her ex-boyfriend, but asked the other party to pay the introduction fee.
In order to establish a good relationship with her superiors, she bought an antique that cost 5,000 yuan.
Although both she and her ex-boyfriend had a monthly salary of only five thousand, they still let her ex-boyfriend bear the expenses.
However, simply because she feels that her ex-boyfriend is not mature enough, the woman easily proposes to break up.
At the moment of the breakup, she even bluntly told the other party:
"We're together, and I've planned it all by myself."
Later, she went on a blind date with a mature man, a 35-year-old middle-level leader.
He is mature and steady, and thinks about everything for her, which makes her feel more relaxed than ever.
Just when she thought she was on the right track, a sudden phone call shattered her illusions.
On the other end of the phone, it was a teenage girl who asked the woman if she wanted to be her stepmother.
At that moment, the woman woke up from a dream because this was not the life she wanted.
It's a pity that when she woke up to the fact that simple feelings should be cherished the most, her ex-boyfriend had already recognized her true colors.
Calculation in love does exist.
Some people see marriage as a tool, or as a bargaining chip, or as a springboard for life.
Some people use their partner as a resource, either to satisfy their inner vanity or to seek material security.
In this era of "fear of marriage" per capita, many people are not afraid of marriage, but people's hearts.
Fear of being let down, fear of being calculated, fear of meeting someone unladylike.
In the world of feelings, calculation is not a crime, but sincerity is the most valuable.
Leave the money behind
Zhou Guoping said:
"Life should strive for two simplicity: the simplicity of material life, and the simplicity of interpersonal relationships.
With these two simplicitys, the mind has a wide space and a wonderful tranquility. ”
I think so.
True happiness lies not in the external conditions, but in the inner state.
I've seen a story that touches people's hearts.
A husband and wife who used to live a prosperous life, but fate suddenly plunged them into poverty.
In the old days, husbands had a habit of always letting their wives bathe first.
He prefers to stay in the living room or study and endure a stinky sweat until his wife finishes washing.
This thoughtfulness once moved his wife immensely.
Now, however, her husband always goes in and takes a shower first.
Whenever my wife wanted to go into the bathroom, he would suddenly say, "I'll do it first."
Finally one day, the wife couldn't help but ask her husband why.
He was stunned for a moment, and replied that after running outside for a day, his stinky sweat was uncomfortable, so he was in a hurry to rush.
The wife was disappointed in this.
Even despair that her husband no longer loves her as much as he used to, and that she has not only lost her mansion, but is losing her husband's love.
Later, when the husband was away, his wife accidentally turned on his computer and found the diary he had written.
As she read it, tears welled up in her eyes.
She saw this text:
"Today she asked me why I always had to take a shower before her?
I didn't tell the truth, I was afraid that she would feel sorry for me.
The bathroom was cold, but I knew that after I took a shower, it would be a little bit warmer, 3 degrees, 2 degrees or 1 degree.
I suppose she would have warmed up in the shower, right?
During these hard and cold days, I thought I could at least give her this 1 degree of warmth. ”
Love is not about how much you can give, but whether you are willing to give for the other person.
As the writer Romain Rolland said:
"Love is the flame of life, without which everything becomes night."
Material things are important, but happiness cannot be measured by them alone.
After all, no matter how much material things are piled up, it is difficult to touch the heart.
True happiness does not lie in how much you have, but in whether you can feel the beauty of loving and being loved in ordinary days.
Write at the end
Wang Xiaobo once said:
"There are very few things that can be chosen by oneself in one's life.
We can't choose how we live or die, but we can choose how we love and how we live. ”
When we get into mainstream life, we go with the flow.
But I often forget to stop and ask myself:
Is this really what I want?
Love is not complicated, it is the human being that is complicated.
We often try to measure love by various standards, but we forget the most essential part of love - pure emotion and mutual understanding.
When both people in a relationship can be sincere, putting aside efficiency and calculation, it is undoubtedly a great happiness and satisfaction.
May we all find the well in our hearts in the complicated world, and then slowly walk towards it.
— END —