Hello everyone, Hello everyone, Recently, the words of a treasure mother exploded in the circle of friends. She said: "Raising two sons is stressful? Inexistent! Find an only daughter as a daughter-in-law, just eat the household!" As soon as these words came out, they immediately attracted a lot of scolding. To be honest, I couldn't get angry when I heard this kind of thought. Let's talk about this today, and by the way, talk about how to educate children so that they don't grow up to become "out of households", or be "eaten out of households".
01 "Eat the Dead"? You want to be beautiful! Let's talk about this "eater" statement first. It sounds uncomfortable, as if the only daughter of a family is a fat sheep to be slaughtered. Let's restore the scene at that time: One day I took my children to play in the community, and I met a few mothers chatting. The topic somehow turned to the pressure of raising two sons. One of them, Xiaoyun's mother, said mysteriously: "It's not a lot of pressure to raise two sons, it depends on what you do in the future!" Everyone pricked up their ears and waited for her high opinion. As a result, she said: "Eat the house!" Son, I'm afraid that these sons will be abolished, and they will harm society in the future...... In your words and my words, Xiaoyun pulled a face and left.
Later, I learned from other mothers that she was a foreigner, and her mother-in-law's family was very patriarchal, and she gave birth to two sons, and her tails were about to be cocked. I also learned that there are many only daughters on our side, so I chose us to work here and talked eloquently: "If you have a son, you are not afraid of suffering losses anyway, and if you look for an only daughter family in the future, not only do you not want a bride price, a garage, but even a backward post!" In the future, if we have a child, grandma will take it, so we just need to wait to enjoy the happiness, what is the pressure?" I was stunned to hear this. That's too wild, isn't it? What do you think of other people's girls? Fortunately, there was a mother at the scene who couldn't bear it anymore and scolded her directly: "The girl also grew up in the palm of her hand, why do you let it be so bad!"
Xiaoyun was still not convinced, and continued to stiffen her mouth: "It's just a girl's film, it's all out of business, what else is worth messing with!" As soon as these words came out, everyone present exploded. A treasure mother immediately shot back: "Don't daydream, there is an only daughter in the family, where can you look at people like you, they are all smart, my family has a daughter, we are looking for a son-in-law, conditions and conduct, as well as the conduct of the in-laws, are indispensable, your kind of thinking, the son's three views are not much better, and most of them will be singles in the future!"
That's a great way to say that! Other mothers also joined the team to crusade against Xiaoyun: "People want face, trees want bark, and if you just want to take shortcuts, you may fall big." "My two sons, I would rather be a little tired than rely on the woman's family and have his own confidence." "Such an idea to raise a son, I am afraid that these sons will be abolished, and they will harm the society in the future......" was criticized by everyone like this, Xiaoyun walked away with a gray face. Later, I learned that this Xiaoyun is a foreigner, and her mother-in-law's family is very patriarchal. and two sons were born, and their tails were lifted up to heaven. I heard that there are many only daughters in our area, so I deliberately chose to work and settle here. This idea is really scary to think about!
02 Don't let your daughter become a "love brain" After saying "eating out of the house", let's talk about another situation - the girl has become a "love brain". This situation is equally dangerous, and it is easy to be targeted by families who want to "eat the house". I have a friend, Xiaoling, who is a typical example. Xiaoling's family conditions are good, her parents are all in the system, her grandparents are in business, and her family is quite wealthy. Since she was a child, Xiaoling has never suffered much, she is simply treated like a princess. went to college, and Xiaoling fell in love. My boyfriend's family background is very ordinary, and he is a poor boy from the countryside. Of course, Xiaoling's parents disagreed, thinking that the door was not right. But Xiaoling is determined to be with this boy. In her opinion, although her boyfriend has a poor family background, he must have the ability to be admitted to a prestigious university. And the boy is very good to her, buying breakfast, buying snacks, helping to occupy a place, peeling shrimp, it is simply meticulous. Xiaoling's parents couldn't resist their daughter, so they had to wait for her to graduate and arrange for a good company, hoping to distract her. Who knew that the boy actually chased him to the city, and now Xiaoling was even more desperate.
It didn't take long for the boy to say that he was going to Beijing to develop. Xiaoling quit her job without saying a word and went to Beijing with her. Not to mention finding a job, I am pregnant. Xiaoling's parents are angry, but what can they do? There is only such a precious daughter. In the end, he had to grit his teeth and sell the two suites at home, keep one for his own retirement, take out all his savings, and buy a suite for his daughter in Beijing. You think that's the end of it? When Xiaoling's parents wanted to go to Beijing to see their daughter, they found that their in-laws and sister-in-law had already moved in. Later, Xiaoling's parents rarely went to Beijing, and Xiaoling never returned to her hometown. Think about it, Xiaoling's parents have worked hard for most of their lives, and they are so cheap to others. Even with his baby daughter was cheated away, how can people not feel distressed?
03 Let children see "human suffering" From these two examples, we can see that whether it is someone who wants to "eat out of the house" or someone who is easy to be "eaten out of the house", it is because they have not seen the world and do not know the suffering of the world. For today's children, the ideal state of finding a partner is to be "the right person" - the family background is comparable, the three views are comparable, and the educational background is comparable. This kind of marriage is the most stable and long-lasting, and the parents are the most assured. However, to do this, it is not enough to just pay lip service. As parents, we have to pay attention to cultivating our children's three views from an early age. Especially for girls, it is necessary to pay attention to the following points: First, the family environment should be harmonious. There is no doubt that a girl's sense of security and happiness comes largely from her family. Only when the child himself feels happy, when looking for the other half, will he not make up for the lack of the original family, so as to become a "love brain". Second, let children see "human suffering".
Take Xiaoling as an example, her family conditions are too good, and she doesn't know how much her parents have paid to give her a comfortable life. We have to take our children to see what life is like in unhappy families and poverty. In this way, children can be grateful to their parents and stay sober when they are in love. The growth of people is not in the honeypot, but after seeing the world. Finally, it is important to develop independence and self-awareness in children. Xiaoling's life from childhood to adulthood was arranged by her parents. Later, I had a boyfriend, and it was all arranged by my boyfriend. She has become accustomed to this "arranged" life. Now many girls are protected too well, all the way to growing up. In the process, they lack independence and self-awareness. The French philosopher Descartes once said, "I think, therefore I am." If the child does not have her own assertiveness and thinking ability, then she is destined to cling to others and become a "love brain".
04 How to prevent children from becoming "out of households" or being "eaten out of households"? Having said all this, let's summarize how to educate children to avoid them from becoming "out of households" when they grow up, or being "eaten out of households": Cultivating correct values should educate children from an early age, and the value of people does not lie in family background, but in their own ability and morality. Don't take "finding a good family" as your life goal, but pursue your own growth and progress. Encourage independence, don't do everything for your child, and give them some autonomy. Let them learn to make their own decisions and take responsibility. In this way, when you grow up, you will not be easily swayed by others. Cultivate empathy and teach children to empathize and understand the feelings of others. That way they don't grow up to use others as tools to achieve their own ends. Paying attention to educationA good education can give children more choices. Whether it's a boy or a girl, encourage them to study hard and improve themselves.
Establish a correct view of marriage and love and teach children that marriage is a matter of two people, not a contest between two families. Looking for a partner depends on character and ability, not family background. Let the children get in touch with the society, take the children to volunteer, and understand the lives of different classes. This broadens your horizons, fosters compassion, and allows you to appreciate what you have more. Cultivating independent financial ability, especially for girls, must cultivate their independent financial ability. In this way, you can have a say in the marriage and will not be easily swayed. Teach financial management so that children can learn to manage money from an early age and understand that money is not easy to come by. In this way, when you grow up, you will not blindly compare, and you will not take money too seriously. Lead by example, parents themselves should establish the right values. If you discuss in front of your children all day long who has good family conditions and who is married well, then your children will also be exposed to it. Maintain a good parent-child relationship
Communicate with your child to understand their thoughts. Give them timely guidance when they encounter problems. That way, they will trust you and be willing to listen to you when it comes to important decisions. In short, whether it is a boy or a girl, the goal of our education should be to develop an independent, confident and responsible person. Such a person will neither be "eaten out of households" nor will be "eaten out of households". In closing, I would like to say that marriage is not a sale, let alone a game. When two people are together, they should support each other and grow together. If you calculate and take advantage all day long, the relationship is not destined to last long from the beginning. I hope everyone can find a partner who is truly suitable for them and form a happy family. Instead of wronging oneself and delaying others for the sake of the so-called "right door" or "eating the wrong household".
What do you think of this "desperate" statement? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area and let's discuss together!