Have you ever thought about getting divorced? I believe, definitely.
Because no matter how good a couple is, there will be 200 thoughts of divorce and 50 impulses to strangle each other in this life. So when there is a conflict of wills, when the mood is low, it is normal to have the urge to divorce.
But if you want to get a divorce every day, that's a big problem.
For example, it is not pleasing to the eyes of your partner horizontally and vertically, everything is wrong, and you will question it countless times, that is, the person in front of you delays your happiness and hinders you from running to a better future.
Actually, I'm telling you, it's yourself who really has the problem.
Below I will tell you 3 truths about marriage, and also give it to those who want to divorce every day. Maybe after reading it, you won't want to leave.
- 1. Expectation is a mirror.
Any expectations you have of your partner are actually a mirror, and what is reflected through this mirror is your own problem. The more you expect and demand, the more serious your own problems will be.
Because the essence of expectation comes from some lack of oneself.
For example, if you lack the ability to make money, you will seek solutions and fills through expectations, and ask your partner to make more money;
For example, if you lack the ability to deal with the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you will want your husband to support you and preside over the overall situation;
For example, if you lack the ability to be self-happy, your personality is not independent, and your heart is not full, you will ask your husband to pamper you extraordinarily.
So these are all reflections of your own problems, and the more problems you have, the more you will demand of your partner, including asking your partner to love you the way you expect them to be. But how is this possible? He will definitely not be able to meet your demands everywhere until your emotions are let go more and more, and your partner is getting worse and worse.
Finally it becomes intolerable to you.
Where is this because the partner is too bad, obviously he is too bad, and he blames the mirror for not having the ability to make up.
It's the same when you look at your partner's shortcomings, if you look at your partner's shortcomings, you're actually looking at your own shortcomings; You see that your partner's shortcomings are becoming less and less, and in fact they are the result of a more perfect personality of your own.
- 2. Life itself is a problem.
What is Life? Life is a process of constantly encountering problems and solving them.
There is no possibility for you to live an absolutely wishful life with smooth sailing. No matter who you're with, how can something happen in a family life?
Don't make the sky fall apart if you have a little trouble, peace of mind is very important. Whatever problems we encounter, we will solve them, and whatever crises we encounter, we will challenge them. It's no big deal, life is like that, it's always like that.
Even, the essence of life is a problem.
Recognize various problems, accept various problems, and solve various problems. Even if you live to be 80 years old, all kinds of problems and troubles will not stop.
So can divorce and change the essence of life change the essence of life? Definitely not. It's nothing more than replacing this question with that question. It looks different, but in fact, there is no difference in taking responsibility, they are all very troubled and anxious.
It's the same even if you're single. It's just that the problem is different, not that the problem goes away.
Divorce is never the way and method to solve the problem, on the contrary, it is only the beginning of the problem, and never think that as long as you say goodbye to this marriage, life will tend to be perfect.
- 3. Husband and wife are just husband and wife.
Even if you become a husband and wife, even if you change someone and a better and better person, being a husband and wife can only mean that you are husband and wife, and you cannot be a roundworm in each other's stomachs.
In other words, any husband and wife are essentially two completely different individuals.
This complete difference also means that you will always have things that are not suitable and unsatisfactory. So don't think about divorce at every turn because it's not suitable, or even become a source of doubt.
Husbands and wives both need to run in, it doesn't matter if it's not good, it doesn't matter if it's not suitable, through running-in, change and compromise, they eventually become the right person. This is also the important and beautiful meaning of husband and wife.
I have always agreed with a passage, saying:
"The most test of love is not the depth of love between two people, but the ability of two people to love each other."
If you can't swim, it doesn't matter how much you change the pool, even if he has an extraordinary enthusiasm and pursuit of swimming.
Therefore, as a husband and wife, don't blindly pursue the realm of "having a soul", and don't be too artistic about married life. Don't let a "guess" word widen the distance between you and alienate your feelings.
Life is already very hard, so don't have internal friction anymore, but let the relationship between husband and wife become a strength.
You see, if you don't understand it a different way, everything becomes very different.
Sometimes, even our feelings can be deceiving. It is not the fact that suffers, but a distorted emotion of understanding.
What is Intimacy? You should have ease, comfort, trust and intimacy as your direction and goal.
But look at you again, whether you have all violated this original intention and have turned intimacy into an antagonistic relationship.
--END--