#头条创作挑战赛#
"When my parents were alive, my siblings were together. Once the parents leave, the brotherhood turns into a relative. ”
The friendship between siblings originates from their parents and is beyond the ordinary. The childhood of sleeping together and giving up clothes and pants is closely connected by time.
However, after starting a family, their respective trajectories slowly unfolded, and the siblings gradually weaved their own chapters of life.
After experiencing the ups and downs of life, I know that the maintenance of brotherhood and brotherhood also requires mutual understanding and boundaries.
Although growing up under the same roof and being intimate by blood, the subtlety and proportionality of the adult world have been added to the passage of time.
The brotherly love lasts forever, and it is true to understand that the accounting party is the real chapter
In a family story that has been praised by all, the life of a model brother is calm and harmonious, and their relationship is passed down by the neighborhood.
However, as fate would have it, the younger brother suddenly fell seriously ill, and a dark cloud hung over the family, and the illness seemed to herald endless despair and financial pressure.
The elder brother wandered heavily outside the door, his heart full of worry.
The cost of treatment for my younger brother is like an insurmountable mountain, and at the same time, the growth and education of the children of the two families is also a burden that cannot be ignored.
In the dead of night, with a lot of thoughts, the elder brother entered a heart-wrenching dream: after the death of his younger brother in the dream, he could barely support his children's studies, and when his nephew asked for help, the sense of powerlessness drove him to refuse, and even spoke ill of him.
The tears of his nephew and the accusations of the outside world made him defend himself in his dreams, trying to prove his innocence and helplessness.
Fortunately, the next day ushered in the good news of misdiagnosis, and the big stone in my brother's heart finally landed.
But from then on, whenever he heard others praise their brotherly affection, his brother was always silent. Deep down, he understands that although he loves his younger brother, he also shows his selfishness and partiality under the severe test of money.
The wisdom of the older generation is still in my ears: "Fire refines real gold, and money tests people's hearts; Brothers, the accounts must be clear. ”
How many families have turned against each other because of the word "money", and how many siblings have broken off because of entanglements of interests.
This reminds us that even the closest relationships need to be clear and rewarded.
Long-term unilateral giving and neglect will only loosen the emotional bond and make the hearts of loved ones drift apart.
Therefore, gratitude and timely feedback are the keys to maintaining emotional depth.
"Courtesy exchanges" is not only the law of social interaction, but also an indispensable tacit understanding between family relationships.
The friendship between brothers and sisters is based on mutual support, but it also needs to be balanced and rewarded in a timely manner.
Only by having clear boundaries, having a back and forth, and not owing each other, can we make the communication between each other more open and the brotherhood can last forever in the years to come.
Sisterhood is deep, and just the right distance is more precious
"If you live for a long time, you will be cheap, and if you visit frequently, you will be sparse", an ancient adage reminds us that the beauty of interpersonal communication lies in the moderate distance and sense of proportion, even if it is close to each other.
During childhood, siblings are close to each other, but when they become adults, they form their own families, and there should be appropriate boundaries between them.
Excessively close contacts can easily lead to unnecessary interference and deepening of contradictions.
The example of sisters in the novel "Parental Love" is apt: two sisters, one married into a wealthy family, and the other followed a military career. Because of the frequent reunions of blood relatives, unexpectedly, this close bond has become a burden.
The sister's inadvertent superiority revealed that the younger sister was dissatisfied with the status quo; And when the situation is reversed and my sister needs help, my sister's kindness to help her lacks a sense of boundaries, which ignites the displeasure in each other's hearts.
A trivial compliment, but because of her sister's unintentional words—"Only a maid is so attentive"—completely touched her sister's heart, and the sisterhood was broken.
The younger sister blamed her sister for being sensitive, and the older sister lamented that her sister didn't know how to cherish it.
This is exactly what "too much intimacy, emotional vulnerability".
The wisdom of the ancients summed up: "The way of interpersonal relations lies in negligence without losing respect." ”
Keeping the right space between siblings is a sign of respect and understanding for each other's life choices.
After all, everyone's life trajectory is unique, and even close relatives can't fully empathize with it. As a writer said, "The more life is intertwined, the farther away the heart may be." ”
Therefore, to maintain the beauty of family affection, it is necessary to provide advice rather than making decisions on behalf of others, to help relatives with their problems instead of taking them all over, and to help appropriately in the face of difficulties rather than taking everything over.
This kind of getting along does not reduce warmth, but only increases harmony, ensuring the rare comfort and respect between each other.
Keeping an appropriate distance is not indifferent, but in fact it is a wise move to maintain the affection of siblings, so that there will always be a warmth and harmony between hearts.
Dearest family: care for each other and get what they want
Lao Tzu Youyun: "There is no mutual birth, and it is difficult and easy to achieve each other." ”
This statement reveals the relativity of things, just like the expression of love, which is not limited to giving and giving, and sometimes, the appropriate letting go and space is a deeper care.
In the tapestry of life, we are first and foremost individuals and then members of the family. It's a reminder to keep to ourselves and at the same time to be warm and clinging to each other.
Liu Yong, a well-known writer, shared in an interview: "Sun Tzu is actually the flesh and blood of 'others'. ”
He dotes on his grandchildren as an ordinary grandfather, but he is able to grasp the balance and not get too close, because he deeply understands that although the blood connection is deep, the boundaries need to be clear.
He also adheres to this principle when he treats his son, who has become an adult.
Living next to each other, he chooses to respect rather than intervene in the occasional disputes in his son's home, and focuses on his personal life by shopping, reading, and writing. He knows that boundaries are respect, and non-interference is love.
"There is a degree in life, too much, moderate is the best." As the poet Shi Jin said, the real emotion lies in the casualness contained in the care, and the freedom is not lost in the cherished. Independent but not isolated, separated but connected, this is the most beautiful distance of family affection.
Children are not a continuation of the lives of their parents, nor are their partners and siblings vassals of life. In the adult world, each carries the trivialities and burdens of life.
Therefore, the most harmonious mode of coexistence between family members is "strangeness in the familiar", each busy but often worried in the heart. While taking care of their own small home, they also leave a warm place for each other's needs.
As the old saying goes: "The eyes are full of green mountains and empty thoughts, why not take pity on the people in front of you." ”
The prosperity is gone, and those who really lend a hand in the predicament are often the closest relatives who are of the same blood.
Having loved ones is a blessing given by fate. In the past, no matter how we get along, in the days to come, we should cherish this fate that blood is thicker than water.
May you and I understand that timely love, care and understanding are not only for our families, but also for ourselves.
In this long and short journey of life, let home become the warmest harbor and paint a beautiful picture of family happiness.