"Climbing vines" is regarded by many Chinese parents and students as the ultimate wish. But after going to the best university, will there still be troubles and pressures? At Yale, psychologist Chen Jingru sees the struggles behind the glamorous brilliance of these elite students, not only American students, but also those Chinese Yale undergraduate students who are at the top of the pyramid of the college entrance game.
After receiving her Ph.D. and licensure as a psychologist at the University of Kansas, Jingru worked at the Yale Center for Mental Health and Counseling, where she was the only psychologist from China, counseling visiting students and conducting research on the mental health of college students. What kind of mental stress do students at top schools face? How can counselling improve mental health? What are the particular challenges and strengths of Chinese students in terms of mental health? Here's what she had to say.
Yale's pressure and competition
After working as a counselor at Yale, I joked that I was lucky that I couldn't go to Yale at the time, and it was too stressful to study here. Many students face academic pressure, interpersonal pressure, emotional pressure, etc. From a diagnostic point of view – although I don't like to make diagnoses myself, anxiety, depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, eating disorders, etc., are the most common conditions for students.
One of the main sources of stress is peer-to-peer pressure due to the competitive atmosphere at school. There's a metaphor for how many school students in the U.S. have "Floating Duck Syndrome" — what appears to be a laid-back appearance, but in fact they are paddling frantically below the surface to keep themselves from sinking. At Yale, everyone shows the outsiders to be glamorous, not only good at studying, but also very involved in clubs and extracurricular activities, and comfortable in social aspects, and every aspect of life seems to be handled very well and easily. In fact, a lot of people are under a lot of pressure internally. If you don't have an in-depth understanding of the contact between classmates, you will feel "why are people so good, why am I so hard".
Jingru Chen, Psychologist, Yale University Center for Mental Health and Counseling (Photo courtesy of the interviewee)
One impression is that Yale students are very busy, always planning for the future and arranging their schedules, which is very different from my own relatively leisurely college life. Many of Yale's undergraduates choose majors without having to enroll, but they actually plan ahead. Those who want to work will prepare for internships in advance, and those who plan to apply for medical school or doctoral studies in the future will find a laboratory to do scientific research, and they should prepare very early, and many people have arrangements for the summer vacation at the end of their freshman year. Many opportunities have to be applied for a long time in advance, so some students start to apply for summer internships soon after their freshman year, but they have not been enrolled for a long time at this time, and they have not yet completed the transition from high school to college students, and they have to adapt to a new environment and interpersonal interactions, and even leave home for the first time. When I keep hearing that others have been admitted one by one, and I haven't made progress yet, I will start to get anxious. Students have very busy schedules every day, with a lot of academic and extracurricular activities. When it comes to booking a consultation time, many students want to be in the early morning or lunch time slot, so that they can squeeze in more other things throughout the day. There are so many resources in the school that "fear of missing out" is the most common mentality for them, and "leisure" is a very luxurious concept.
This atmosphere of competition and the pressure to have a "professional spirit" in doing things permeates all aspects of life. Even when they come for counseling, Yale students seem to be working very hard. I used to do internships at counseling centers at several different universities in the United States, and some students gradually encountered problems and stress during the semester, so they remembered psychological counseling, and sometimes they didn't make an appointment, after all, counseling is a completely voluntary after-school thing. But Yale students are different, many of them have to contact us before the semester starts to make an appointment for the semester, and they know that the counselors are busy, so they will do everything they can to make sure they can be accommodated. I am also very serious about the goals I can achieve in the consultation, and I hope to gain something. They have a strong sense that everything in life must be done through hard work and competition to give themselves access to as many resources as possible.
（图｜Yale University）
In this high-pressure, goal-oriented environment, it is difficult and important for everyone to be seen and understood. Students of different identities face different challenges, for example, Chinese students are a special group, and I think it is really difficult for them. They are caught in the middle, and their situation is very delicate, some people in China only think that they are superior and glamorous, and Americans generally classify them as international students, and no one really fully understands their situation and the challenges they face, and may not necessarily care, only they know what it is like. If parents care about their international students, don't just ask them how their grades are and how their career development plans are, but also ask about life, such as how they eat, sleep, exercise, and what friends they have.
From a mental health perspective, entering university is a stressful and challenging one, but it is also an important opportunity. People will experience different life issues at different stages of their lives, and college students are also faced with their own growth issues. College is a great opportunity to deal with issues that have not been explored before, such as family of origin, relationships, interests and career plans, intimacy, and so on. This may be the first time that many people have detached themselves from the family environment, and truly realize the impact of the family on themselves, to face the struggles in their lives and plan for the future, is an opportunity to truly understand their own situation and grow from it.
（图｜Yale University）
How to ask for help
It is understandable that many Chinese students and college students in China are shy about seeking help from a counselor. On the one hand, it is a kind of self-preservation, and it is also a manifestation of our low-key and face-saving culture. On the other hand, I feel that I am doing counseling because I am "sick", and it is difficult to accept the opinions of people around me, including parents, relatives, and friends. I remember when I was a kid, if I heard about someone going to see a psychiatrist, the people around me would say that everyone stayed away from the person. When I was a kid, it felt like something mysterious and something to avoid. It is these shackles that prevent many people from looking at seeking psychological help in a proper way.
In fact, psychological counseling can provide support in many aspects, such as the pressure of students' studies, the confusion of young people, the pressure of family and work in middle-aged people, and the loneliness of empty nesters. I'm not suggesting that you find a counselor right away if you need it. I believe there are many ways to deal with these issues. However, when you are unable to cope with some difficulties on your own, or you are unable to get help from friends and relatives, seeking help from a professional counselor is one of the ways to heal. However, this requires a professional support system.
Stills from "Soul Catcher".
At Yale, we have a sizable mental health and counseling center dedicated to serving the needs of our students. The team consists of more than 60 counseling professionals in three different capacities: more than 10 social workers, nearly 30 psychologists and 20 psychiatrists.
In the United States, only people who have completed an internship and have been supervised and licensed can practice psychological counseling. After coming to the United States, I first studied for a master's degree in counseling psychology at the University of Minnesota, and after graduating with a master's degree in two years, I felt that I wanted to continue to work hard, so I continued to study for a doctorate in counseling at the University of Kansas. in Counselling Psychology）。 After graduating with a Ph.D., he worked as a postdoctoral fellow at Yale, and now stays on as a full-time psychologist at the university. From coming to the United States to study for a master's degree to officially joining Yale, nearly ten years have passed. In addition to attending classes, I also did internships for many years. I started as an intern at a drug addiction treatment center in the community, and then I interned at counseling centers at various universities. Last year, I passed the Examination for Professional Practice in Psychology and passed the requirements to become a licensed psychologist.
Although the process of training and professional certification is long and rigorous, it is linked to academic education, such as a doctorate and a psychologist's license for psychologists, a master's degree and a license in a related discipline for social workers, and a doctorate degree in medicine for psychiatrists with prescribing authority. People who go through this process generally have basic scientific literacy and professional ethics. Because psychological counselors are a very special profession, it is to be able to help people, but if it is not used well or the counselor has his own selfish intentions, it can also hurt the visitor. Avoiding harm is a very important part of this industry.
Stills from "David the Psychiatrist".
In addition to professional consultants, policy and system support are also needed. Due to resource constraints, many U.S. universities have limited the number of times students can come to counsel, and if students have difficult psychological problems, they will immediately refer them to outside hospitals, institutions or individual practitioners. However, at Yale, the center is staffed with a large number of psychiatrists in addition to counselors, who work closely with each other to help students with psychological distress as many times as they want, and all students are covered by school insurance. In the event of an emergency, students can walk in without an appointment or call the Counseling Center at any time. With these measures, students are more willing to seek help from the psychological center when they need it.
In addition to one-on-one counseling, group counseling is also an effective method. For example, where I work, there are more than 20 types of group counseling, including attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), sleep health, eating disorders, trauma coping, etc., as well as those that focus on a specific identity, such as international students, women, men, and sexual minorities. In some groups, counselors teach coping skills. Some are process-centered, in a safe, free space where everyone talks, supports and accompanies each other, and realizes that you are not alone, and the process itself can be very helpful. Each visitor has their own unique needs, for example, many Chinese students need to speak Chinese, and the sense of familiarity and cultural connection brought by this native language expression is very important for visitors. It is important to find a counselor who is suitable for you and a counseling method that suits you.
（图｜Yale University）
The unique challenges and strengths of international students
At present, the psychological industry still uses a lot of "medical models" to inevitably diagnose and label people, such as depression and anxiety. In many cases, of course, a diagnosis is needed, for example, some people who have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are able to reconcile with themselves because their past troubles have been explained. But further, one has to have the inner strength to face the difficulties of life, and the task of the counselor is to go beyond the diagnosis, to see the whole person, to bring out this strength, and not just to the conclusion of the next disease.
I have met many international students, and they all face additional difficulties that many locals do not have, such as language, culture, education system, social and other challenges; But on the other hand, the fact that international students can study and live in a foreign country is a reflection of their unique advantages. They come from another culture, they have a global perspective, they have experience in two societies, they can build more than one interpersonal support system, which is not available to native American students.
However, many times international students will be "trapped" by the problems in front of them, because of difficulties in life, studies, and interpersonal relationships, they feel that they are "inferior to others" and "not worthy". Many times, the negative psychological feelings generated by these difficulties occupy a lot of psychological energy, so that they have been "internal friction", forgetting their strengths and abilities, and further isolating themselves. Counsellors are unable to directly address external factors that cause psychological distress, and sources of stress may always be present. However, as a counselor, I hope to help clients realize what kind of resources and advantages they have, stimulate the energy they already have, jump out of the current troubles, and have the strength and confidence to deal with the challenges in life. International students themselves should also often remind themselves of these advantages to make themselves more confident.
（图｜Yale University）
Counseling for Chinese students in the U.S. is a unique scenario. Over the past 20 years, the influence of their upbringing and culture in China, as well as their attitudes towards family and relationships, have influenced them in many ways. Family of origin is an important topic in counseling, and some American counselors often give the judgment that the client does not establish sufficient boundaries with his or her family, and then advises that "you should keep your distance from your family of origin and establish and protect your own sense of boundaries." This may be a common statement for an American, but it may be a disservice in itself to say it to a Chinese student without evaluation and discussion. Because although "establishing boundaries with family" is becoming more and more acceptable for young people, the resulting separation from family can make young people feel torn and confused, and they will feel that you don't see my culture at all, you don't understand my situation, you don't understand me as a person, and then you can't see what my struggle is and what my inner desire is under it. Therefore, I believe that culture should be placed at the center and that the understanding of the whole person should be placed in the context of culture.
Unlike American culture, which emphasizes logic and analysis, Chinese culture can see both sides of a thing, and Chinese often say that blessings and misfortunes depend on each other, believing that the challenges at this moment may also be transformed into their own advantages in the future, which can make people cope with pressure more actively. For example, when recounting a negative experience as a child, the American counselor may easily make a judgment that it is a bad experience, a "trauma", and although it provides a new perspective, it may only remember that the client has a trauma after the consultation, and does not inspire more strength to face and face the problem.
Stills from "Normal People".
In China, there has been a mention of "hollow heart disease" among college students, and many college students will feel that there is no point in struggling, and they don't know what they are doing every day and what is the value of existence. My superficial understanding is that because the values and evaluation system are too simple, the judgment of the value of self and life will be very narrow, and then I will feel confused about my own state of existence. International students and American college students are actually similar, although the value standards may be relatively diverse, not only based on academic performance and grades, but there will also be times when they are confused and meaningless.
How to deal with this lack of meaning? I think personally, getting back to your concrete life and reconnecting with the people around you is an important way to regain a sense of meaning. In many cases, the lack of a sense of meaning is not the fault of the individual, but is caused by the environment and even the times of the whole society. You can't change the bigger picture at the individual level, but what you can do is re-engage yourself in relationships and life, and reconnect with the people around you. Not only focus on oneself and not see others as an instrumental way to achieve one's goals, but look at the people and environment around you, to genuinely connect with others, to feel authentic about life, to reduce loneliness, to feel supported, and to feel a sense of value in helping others. From the perspective of family and society, students should be encouraged to develop some hobbies and social practices in the process of growing up. Don't just advocate a single competition and individual victory, but broaden the definition and channel of "success".
Stills from "Forrest Gump".
I have been working with my PhD supervisor, Professor Duan Changming, on how to make psychological counseling more effective, and we have been exploring these three aspects: allowing visitors to focus on their own superior resources; focus on cultural influence; Focus on interpersonal relationships. We hope that through these means, young people will have greater mental energy to cope with the difficulties they are in. Many times, life will be chaotic, and even fall into the quagmire, but people still try to cope, use internal and external resources, and even sometimes the crawling posture is not so elegant, using both hands and feet, but also trying to climb out of the quagmire. It's a picture that comes to life in my mind.