As long as there are people, there must be a class problem, and the class will continue to change with the development of history, but the attributes of circle culture have never changed. In ancient times, there was an idiom called: the door is right. In fact, this idiom is very applicable at any time and anywhere, because it is actually a criterion for social interaction between people. Nowadays, there are many people on the Internet who teach people the art of speaking and teach people to learn to socialize upwards, but in fact, in the eyes of many people, this is a very ridiculous behavior. The so-called socialization, in addition to maintaining real feelings, is just an exchange of interests. For some upper-level leaders, he has no family affection with you, let alone affection, so there is only an exchange of interests. Therefore, only if you can provide each other with the benefits you need, can you be considered truly social, if you can't provide the benefits that the other party needs, it is pure nonsense.
To a certain extent, social interaction is essentially divided into two types. One is empathetic socialization; The other is interest socialization. The so-called empathetic social behavior refers to the social behavior of each other for emotional needs, and it is also a social behavior generated in order to obtain emotional connection and emotional experience, kill boredom, or have common interests. For example, we are poker friends, drinking friends, fishing friends, golfers, and all kinds of friendships through calligraphy, music, art, etc. This kind of social interaction does not involve the exchange of interests, and the social behavior of most people since childhood is derived from this empathetic need. With the change of age, experience and status, most people's empathy and social interaction will gradually decrease. At the same time, in the same age and class, the more mature a person's mind, the stronger his ability, and the higher his social status, the less empathetic and social interaction he will have.
And this phenomenon will lead many people to have such a feeling, that is, as they grow older, they become more and more lonely psychologically, the more they grow up, the fewer friends they have, and the more they grow up, the more difficult it is to communicate with others. Not only that, many originally very good friends, after the other party's age or status changes, if a person's status is significantly improved or there are other major changes, this kind of empathy and social interaction will have some major changes, and the interaction between the two people will become less and less, and finally even cut off contact. Therefore, the premise of empathic social existence is that when a person's mind is not yet mature and independent, or when he is of a low social class and his life is not satisfactory, he needs to get emotional connection and support from friends.
Another kind of social interaction is interest socialization, which is not only the core factor in maintaining social relations, but also the most common way of socializing in society. But this kind of social interaction also has some premises, that is, there must be a certain equivalent exchange of interests between each other to complete. A rich man and a beggar are likely not to have some normal social behaviors; And it is impossible for a successful person to have normal social behavior with some lost women; For some companies, there is no real social interaction between the boss and the employee, and the most between them is the relationship between use and exploitation, or the relationship between employment and employment. On the contrary, there are a large number of effective social behaviors between enterprises and between Party A and Party B, because there will be a large number of interest exchanges between them, including money, materials, talents, beauty and power. It is precisely because of these various exchanges of interests that some stable social relations between them can be formed.
There are two key elements that need to be grasped by each and every one of us when it comes to this social benefit. One is timeliness; The other is equivalence. Let's take an example, if a child is not eligible to attend school in a school district, and you want to do it, then you need to have proper social interaction, through some groups to lock in your goals, and finally achieve your goals. And the most critical factor of this kind of social interaction is timeliness, if once a certain amount of time has passed, this kind of social interaction has no meaning. For example, if your child goes to school in July, and you only establish social relationships with relevant people in August or September, then this kind of social interaction is an ineffective social interaction and has no meaning. Don't expect this kind of interaction to be an exchange of feelings, if you have this kind of thought, then you are either simply stupid or very stupid.
In the case of another factor, "equivalence", which is also more or less the same, let's take an example. For example, if you talk to a child about work, if you talk to a white-collar worker about farming, or if you talk to a farmer about finance and stocks, this kind of social interaction is actually an ineffective society. Because you are not on the same level at all, there is no meaning to communicate, and this kind of social interaction also promotes the essential attributes of socialization. For example, your boss is very greedy for money, and you want to be promoted, but you talk to him about ideals and integrity, which is a kind of ineffective social networking; If your boss is very upright, but you want to communicate through gifts or other means, it is also an ineffective social interaction. Because your ideological concepts or value identities are not at the same level at all, not on the same cognition, such social interaction will lose its meaning.
In real life, many people tend to confuse the above two different kinds of socialization, so various problems arise. If one day we can distinguish between these two kinds of social interaction, in fact, many problems have already been solved. Because the root cause of many problems is that people's perception of social interaction is not clear. Let's say you are out of town on a business trip, but time is tight. At this point your friends ask you to bring something, and if you don't want to, they say you're not a friend enough. If you're good at PS technology and film and television editing, your friends always ask you for help, but they never pay any money and take it for granted; For example, if you are engaged in photography and open a photo studio, your friends will let you take pictures for him for free, and they think it is just a few shutter presses; Another example is that you are engaged in engineering, and your friend asks you to give him a little bit of the engineering project, thinking that it is your internal control of the matter, which is very simple. If you have such friends, then it proves that your social style is confused, so that they can't distinguish between empathetic socialization and interest socialization, which will not only cause you a lot of trouble, but also make it easier to lose friends.
Let's take another example, in many units, some leaders often say that doing a good job is the best reward for me. But smart people know that these are just some big words and clichés on the surface, and if you really believe these words, it can only show that you are very simple. We all know that in many units, some people with strong ability and honest duty are often not promoted in the end; On the contrary, some people who often pat the leader's ass, give some gifts or often have opinions with the leader are easy to promote, why? In fact, the former is a kind of interest exchange, and the latter is a kind of interest hedging. And although your existence cannot be said to be completely worthless, for your immediate boss, no matter how good your work is, it can only prove your ability, but cannot bring the most direct benefits to your boss. And if you can be more enlightened at this time, even if it is to invite the leader to a meal and buy a little gift, even if it is very cheap, but this is the most direct benefit.
In the real society, some people are cattle and horses, blindly currying favor with leaders, but in fact, there is no use at all. In the eyes of the leader, only when he can bring direct benefits or avoid damage to his interests can he get the attention of others. Pleasing will not do anything, pleasing will not make others like you, pleasing will not make others accept you, and pleasing will not make others look up to you. Only when you are strong enough, or have enough value exchange, will others be willing to help you, or reveal some valuable information to you. If you want to get something, you need to pay a certain price, and the result depends on your own value and the means you use. If you're only using flattery as a means to get closer to someone, then you're actually doing something stupid.
Therefore, in our daily life, we should have a mindset when dealing with social interaction that is open-ended, not forced, and dominated by our own needs and judging standards. At the same time, I suggest that you reduce ineffective social interaction as much as possible. In this society where the law of the jungle eats the strong, no weak person will be respected, it can be said that only the strong will be respected, which is the law of nature and a criterion for human society. In fact, many people are doing some ineffective socialization all their lives, for everyone, in fact, they don't need much, and they don't have to be too wronged themselves, let yourself relax, make yourself comfortable, eat the food you love you, buy the clothes you like, watch the movies you love, be with the people you like, do what you like to do, don't worry, don't give up, this is living, this is the true meaning of life.
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