Psychology: If you don't take the initiative, the other party won't take the initiative, there are only these 4 reasons

What a joy

2024-07-01 16:53Emotional field creators

-01

Excessive "self-attribution"

Do you have this psychological change?

When you finally muster up the courage to send a message to someone you like, but you don't get a normal response from the other person;

The enthusiasm you fantasize, the response, the tenderness of the other person, are all in vain.

At this time, your subconscious thought is: "It must be that he doesn't like me, so he doesn't reply to my messages."

Instead of: "Maybe he's busy and doesn't have time to talk to me too much".

Not only in sexual relationships, but in all interpersonal interactions, you subconsciously blame yourself for the behavior of "the other person does not respond to you".

It's that you have shortcomings, so the other person doesn't like you;

It's that you're bored and boring, so the other party doesn't reply to your messages.

Over time, you have this change:

"Even if you are eager to send messages to the other person, you are determined not to be the one who takes the initiative; As long as you take the initiative to talk, you will feel that you are very faceless, and you will arouse the disgust of the other party. ”

Maybe the other party is really busy and hasn't had time to read your news properly;

But this kind of behavior itself, in your mind, has already set off a turbulent wave of self-criticism and self-denial.

-02

The other party never takes the initiative, perhaps "enjoying the silence of the moment"

I have a friend who never gets a response every time I send him a message, and you have to call to find him.

If he hadn't been like this to everyone in his circle, I'd have wondered if he had any preconceptions about me.

When we meet, I can feel that the relationship between each other has not faded;

The other party doesn't reply to messages, it's really not a good phone.

When everyone allocates hours of time to their mobile phones every day, watching dramas, watching short videos, chatting, and watching gossip;

He still uses a very old, not-so-smart phone with barely internet access.

I admire him very much because I can't do it at all.

Some people don't take the initiative in relationships, it's not that they have prejudices about you, and they don't avoid socializing;

Rather, they prefer to be quiet, close to real life.

To feel what you have at the moment, to live quietly, and to prefer to be alone rather than noisy.

Imagine you're going through a life like this:

After a busy month, you can finally rest for a few days at this moment;

You ran back to your hometown to live, cutting off the Internet and the phone;

I don't contact anyone, I drink tea, read books, and bask in the sun every day.

This kind of solitary, precious time that you don't want to be disturbed by anyone.

Even if someone asks you for it, you may not want to respond.

Not taking the initiative, it may be that they don't like complicated, redundant relationships.

-03

In the relationship between the sexes, it is often a "game strategy"

When you get along with the opposite sex you like, the other person often "disappears intermittently";

If you are ambiguous with the opposite sex, if you don't take the initiative, the other party will rarely take the initiative to find you.

Not taking the initiative in this state is actually a game strategy.

In the process of getting along, the other party's performance is also very passive.

TA is only responsible for exuding charm, creating good feelings for you, and making you a little fascinated by him;

But he doesn't take the initiative to pay, he doesn't take the initiative to look for you;

It's just to guide you to pay for him and invest more costs until you are "trapped".

Imagine:

When you want to take the initiative to promote the relationship with the ambiguous object, you take the initiative to take your posture, but the ambiguous object is not salty, not light, lukewarm, how do you feel?

not taking the initiative is a relatively hidden "mental manipulation" in the relationship between the sexes;

It can not only complete the emotional manipulation and influence on you, but also be ready to leave you at any time.

If he has feelings for you, he will give you some hope when your patience runs out;

If he doesn't have any feelings for you and you take the initiative to leave, he has nothing to lose, and he gets all the advantage he should take anyway.

-04

Not taking the initiative also stems from the "wrong perception" of some people

False:

"People who really like me and care about me will definitely take the initiative to come to me, and they don't need me to take the initiative at all."

The truth:

No one has to take the initiative, and no one has to enjoy; Only a two-way relationship can maintain stability to the greatest extent and allow both parties to be nourished.

False:

"As long as I give enough, others will pay attention to me, take the initiative to praise me and encourage me."

The truth:

Hard work will not make people appreciate you, but will make others take your efforts for granted;

When encountering people with ulterior motives, they will double up on you and use your value.

False:

"How faceless I take the initiative, it's boring, if you want to chat with me, you can take the initiative, otherwise forget it"

The truth:

Taking the initiative is not cowardice, it is not a weak behavior, and it will not make you lose face;

It's you who loses face, not some kind of behavior.

What's more, the initiative is the game of the brave, and only by taking the initiative can you control the overall situation.

Topic:

If others don't take the initiative to find you, will you take the initiative?

Author He Suohuan:

Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, social relationships, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.

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