After so many years of emotional repair work, if you come to me at this time and ask me what is the most important thing in recovery, I will still answer you without hesitation: mentality.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
We must know that in the process of recovery, there will definitely be emotional fluctuations, so you must build a good mentality in order to make your recovery more certain.
If you feel that you simply rely on methods and skills to recover, you have fallen into the mistake of putting the cart before the horse, and in the process of recovery, your mentality also determines your success rate. We need to have a correct and correct attitude in the process of recovery, which is conducive to you to make the right recovery behavior and achieve better results.
At the same time, your good attitude will make you more emotionally stable and convey a sense of comfort to the other person, which can also make your relationship develop in a positive direction.
I won't talk about the importance of a good attitude, let's talk about what good attitudes you need on the road to recovery?
The first is to control your own needs.
As the saying goes: everything comes true. That is to say, what you think, you try to think, and it will really come true. However, psychological research has found that this is not the case, and generally speaking, motivation is only effective if it is maintained within a certain range, and if it is exceeded, it may make you less likely to achieve it.
In the same way, when you are recovering, the stronger the sense of need you express, the lower the possibility of you getting back together, you need to put your sense of need in a relatively low position, don't be too obsessed with redeeming this matter, flatten your mentality, and leave negative energy, which is what you should do on the way to recovery.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
The second is not to blame yourself;
I found that there are many people who are prone to fall into the whirlpool of self-blame, and when I ask them what the reason for breaking up is, they will say, it's all my fault, and I won't break up if I'm nicer to them. If I hadn't done anything at that time, I wouldn't have broken up and so on.
You have to understand that if there is a problem in a relationship, it is impossible for only one person to have a problem, so your self-blame is a sign of admitting that you have missed it.
Colleague, your self-blame makes you deeply tortured, and after the torture is over, you enlighten yourself again, and this repeated process will not make your recovery easier, but your emotions must become more unstable.
If you want not to blame yourself, the best way is to look at the breakup problem objectively and rationally, and know that the reason for today's breakup is not something you can do alone, and you can calm down.
The third is to recognize the fact of the breakup;
What many people do after a breakup is actually very inappropriate, such as asking the other party why they don't reply to messages, asking if the other party has a new love, or constantly pestering and harassing the other party, or crying to the other party about how sad they are, etc.
You must know that from the moment you break up, your relationship is no longer a couple, the other party has no responsibility and obligation to accept your emotions, and there is no need to report his own situation to you, but your various behaviors are showing that you have not recognized the status quo at all, and you are still living in the fantasy that you are a couple.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
The fourth is to firmly redeem the faith;
Redemption is originally a thing that is struggling with difficulties, if you encounter difficulties, you want to give up, and when you encounter a little sunshine, you are not ready to recover.
There are also some people who are always thinking about the gains and losses that will be recovered, and they are always afraid that they will not be able to recover in the end, but you must know that love should not be taken into account in the first place, and many things, you have not done, and you will not know whether it is possible, things in the world, possibilities are created by yourself, but if you give up at the beginning, the result is doomed to failure.
Finally, I wish you all good luck.
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