#头条创作挑战赛#我们不得不承认, the fast pace of the times and the intensive bombardment of information have turned married life into a new kind of learning.
In the past, the methods of the older generation may not still work, at least in their time, there would not be a mobile phone that could see all kinds of young ladies dancing, and there would be no software that could chat with a shake.
Often, students ask me, "Teacher, why did a man change his mind so quickly?" or "Teacher, I don't think his mind is on me at all, what can I do?"
In fact, the answer to this question is not difficult to find, today the teacher will share it with you, if your friends around you also have such troubles, then quickly share this article with her.
1. Focus on yourself
The teacher found a very heart-wrenching fact, that is, women will slowly lose themselves in marriage, become someone's wife, the mother of children, and the daughter-in-law of in-laws, but not themselves.
So the most important thing is not to ignore yourself, you are the protagonist of your own life.
Men are like wild horses, you have to be a heroic knight, not a hard-working groom.
As a specific example, do students still remember Du Leying in the hot and hot?
In the early stage, she was a stupid woman who did her best to give everything for Haokun, but the result was that both people and money were empty.
Later, after she completed her self-transformation, you can see that she is already a man who longs for the queen very much.
If the students still don't understand it very well, they can also take a look at the teacher's "Compulsory Course for Charming Women", which is very clear.
2. Emotional resonance
Men are also human beings, and they are not working well outside, and they are exhausted by all kinds of things, and perhaps the most urgent thought in their hearts is to hurry home and rest, just like a boat, through the wind and waves, hoping to return to the harbor to rest.
Many women have a misunderstanding, that is, men don't need to vent their emotions, which is not right, and they can't feel that he is really so invincible because he is calm on the surface.
The teacher has encountered a case before, it is a man who deviates from a female colleague, and the opportunity for deviance is a very simple sentence.
"Because she suddenly asked me one day if I haven't been very happy lately, do I want to go and drink together to vent my unhappiness."
So students, the way to break through men's psychological defense line is how ordinary it is, but what is reflected behind this is a deep emotional resonance.
If you find that your man is depressed, you might as well try to communicate with him, but remember, don't open your mouth to blame, just like the above sentence, "do you want to have a drink together", "do you want to go out for a walk", these can be used to guide the man to take the initiative to open the conversation.
3. Communicate effectively
Effective communication is not just about having words, but more importantly, we need to learn to listen, speak, understand and respect.
It sounds profound, but the teacher has a very simple trick to share with the students.
That is, when encountering disagreements or contradictions, use sentences that start with "I" to express your feelings and needs, rather than sentences that start with "you" to blame and attack the other party.
For example, "I'm really jealous", "I really feel left out".
Instead of "why do you fool around outside every day", "you dare not return home at night".
In this way, there is an opportunity to manage misunderstandings and differences, and bring each other's hearts closer.
4. Common goals
I often say that getting married is like starting a company together, so it's important to set a common corporate goal and vision.
For example, your goal in the first stage is to have a child, and the goal in the second stage is to change to a bigger house, which is okay.
The most important thing is to work hard together, which will not only enhance the tacit understanding and trust between each other, but also make the married life full of motivation and hope.
For example, there was a student before, she told me that she felt that life was boring after marriage, and her husband was holding a mobile phone to play games all day long, and she felt that she was not attractive to him at all.
Both of them realized that it was a problem, but they just didn't know how to solve it.
It's not that women are unattractive, it's that married life itself is a bit boring.
So I told him that you should set yourself a goal every month, such as buying a rug in your house this month and learning a new dish next month.
Slowly set some higher, longer-term goals.
In this way, there is a common goal, there is a common topic, and married life will naturally not be so boring.
Therefore, it is not difficult to have lasting attraction in marriage, the key is whether you can find the right way, not only in yourself, but also in the relationship between the two people, what do you think is the most effective method for you?