One of the questions that has been asked me a lot in the background recently is: He has made up his mind now, and he doesn't want to listen to me anymore, do I still have hope?
To be honest, as long as it doesn't get to the point of breaking off, there must still be hope for getting back together, but the key is: can you find the reason why he has made up his mind.
What kind of behavior did you do that led to his current ruthless and insensitive attitude? If you understand this problem, your compound probability can rise to 80%, and it is not impossible to reconcile in situ with subsequent efforts.
So don't lose confidence because of the other party's "ruthlessness", as long as the sky hasn't stepped down, I can still help you turn the tide!
01
Point 1: Desperation is not necessarily true despair, but is caused by the difference in thinking between men and women
Here's a reminder to everyone, sometimes the ex's ruthlessness is not that he hates you to death, but more because he is rejecting a certain feeling you bring him, no matter how bad you are, you must be good to him, right?
These good things can't be wiped out by a contradiction and quarrel, and those feelings that make him resist hating are still because of the difference in thinking between men and women.
For example, girls are more likely to make decisions based on their own emotions and experiences, while boys are more realistic and rational in their thinking.
Therefore, when girls face problems, they will prefer to use tentative thinking to calm each other's emotions, while boys will use decision-making thinking to solve a specific problem.
Therefore, when a man and a woman in love encounter a certain disagreement, the difference in thinking collides, and the contradiction will be unconsciously intensified.
At this time, a certain thing, a certain sentence, or even a certain word of the other party will make people have a lot of emotions, and the next instinctive reaction is:
wants to threaten the other party by breaking up, punish the other party, and then redeem their attitude through the other party, to judge how much the other party cares about themselves, and then occupy the emotional upper hand.
At this time, the person who was broken up came to the conclusion: he is so ruthless, I have no hope.
But if you think about it, your ex must have given you many opportunities, but you didn't understand the other person's thinking pattern and ignored his needs, so you will go to death.
02
Point 2: Have a clear self-awareness and a clear sense of your purpose
If you want to know how to get back an ex who has made up your mind, then I first have to remind everyone in front of the screen that if you want to get back together, you can, but please be clear first: is this relationship worth your time and energy to get back together?
Because in order to reunite with each other, it is not a matter of touching the skin of the mouth, and a few words of effort can be accomplished, during which we have to pay much more effort, precipitation, and preparation than if you chase a new love again!
So is your ex worth it? What if he was determined to be just selfish? It's the kind of person who doesn't take into account your feelings in the slightest and wants to unilaterally break the promise of love, is it worth investing in such a negative person?
So everyone calm down first, turn to rational thinking, including when you come to the background to consult me, I will also give you a basic analysis first, on the premise of clarifying the pros and cons of all parties, you yourself to determine whether to redeem.
Because redemption is a "psychological and psychological game", not only for you and your ex, but also for you and yourself, if you are not clear about your goals, you don't know if you are worth it.
In the process of operation, you will constantly fall into self-doubt and self-internal friction, and execution and self-control are definitely a big killer to save the heart of your predecessor.
03
Point 3: Analyze the problem of getting along and become the entry point for compounding the other party
If you've already set your mind on your mind, you can cut into each other's lives in a more inverted way.
For example, when we apologize solemnly, we have repeatedly harassed each other, but we have not let the other party notice our change.
In this apology, we pointed out the core of the problem, and through communication, the other party felt the improvement of our emotional intelligence management, and changed the previous unreasonable trouble.
When the other person realizes the change, they will become interested in other aspects of us, then we can maintain a relationship similar to "marginal friends", and guide the ex to understand our "new content" through the social circle or friends around us.
Because as long as it involves emotional repair, self-improvement and change are always a necessary level, it is recommended that you seriously upgrade yourself from many aspects, appearance, life, aesthetics, hobbies, work status, etc.
The more natural your changes are, the better, otherwise there will be a "deliberate" feeling, and the content should not be too repetitive, otherwise it will also make people feel aesthetic fatigue.
The content should be positive as much as possible, and don't do it well if you are angry about three bottles of wine under grief, because people are "seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages".
Poisonous chicken soup will not be liked by anyone at all, only the content that is really sunny enough and desirable will attract attention.
04
Point 4: Accumulate personal value and observe the feedback of the other party
The next thing is to observe the feedback of the other party, even if it is a powerful emotional boss, it is basically necessary to go to this step before the other party's feedback can judge what is the probability of the two getting back together?
If our change leaves a good impression on the other party, and the other party does not resist when we come into contact, and shows some positivity, then it means that our value enhancement is effective, and the next step is to re-cultivate the relationship concentration.
In the past, the environment was more depressing, so this time we will have more understanding, create a relatively fair, relatively relaxed and free communication environment, continue the new "relationship dependence", and slowly introduce an ambiguous relationship, just like chasing each other again.
So a healthy recovery direction is also the general direction of "self-improvement", even if you are not for someone, making yourself better is a great choice.
Of course, if you make a lot of efforts and the other party is still indifferent, it also means that the other party's intention is true.
He doesn't want to leave your place in his future life, and has even started a new relationship, so what are we going to do at this time? Do you continue to redeem the digging of the wall?
No, what I want to tell you is that recovery is not 100% successful, and people can't go smoothly, if you have done your best and he still refuses you in the end, please pack up your mood and get back on the road.
I believe that after everyone is upgraded from 5 points to 8 points, there will still be better people to match you, maybe that day, the ex will find you shining again, and it is not impossible to go back to pursue you again!