#头条首发大赛#总想着去迎合别人 is destined to live a bad life. Most of us, in order to gain the recognition and respect of others, are always thinking about how to cater to others, and as a result, we dare not refuse in the face of unreasonable demands, for fear that it will damage the relationship with others. In fact, if you refuse a few times, people will find someone else, there is no relationship, except for a few people in this world, they will hope that you are better off than him. There is no maintenance relationship between other people and you, especially between colleagues, and the underlying logic of the relationship between you is based on the partnership of common interests, and sometimes it is just because of the opposing relationship of interests!
Let's take a realistic example, I belong to the old comrades who have been engaged in business for many years, not to mention the apprentices, there are many apprentices and grandchildren, but because of the lack of resources behind them, although the business ability is very outstanding, but never took that critical step. Speaking of which, many comrades may realize that there is only one way out for such a person, and that is to be completely marginalized. Some people may say: "It's good to be marginalized, just lie down completely, whoever has the ability can do it, and don't you just retire?" "Want to lie flat? How can it be that easy? It also takes resources! If you slack off a little, the leader will say that you have not taken responsibility as an old comrade, and all kinds of small shoes will be given to you. And those who take advantage of the back waves will also say, your master's tail is cocked to the sky, it's just a tiger's butt that can't be touched!
The reality is that you have to do the hardest job, and you have to look at the eyes of others, otherwise it won't make you feel better. Even Han Anguo, who is known as a wise man in history, is no exception, let alone us as ordinary people? Han Anguo advocated that the Xiongnu should continue to uphold the policy of peace and proximity and obtain a relatively stable external environment at the lowest cost, while Liu Che, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, as a promising king, wanted to open up the border and prosper and completely defeat the Huns, so there was a contradiction between the two people, and the fundamental point was the difference in political views. At the same time, in order to support his brother-in-law Wei Qing, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, Liu Che must also suppress Han Anguo and other veterans, otherwise how can there be a chance for Wei Qing and Gongsun He to come out? When Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty Liu Che decided to send troops in four ways, in addition to Li Guang, Wei Qing, Gongsun Ao, and Gongsun He were all his descendants, but they were also outright recruits, so it was very risky and uncertain for Emperor Liu Che of the Han Dynasty to do so.
"General Han has just recovered from a foot injury, so he doesn't need to lead the troops to the expedition this time, but you are a capable minister, you can't be idle, I worship you as a material officer general, and be responsible for the logistics support of the four people!" After hearing this, Han Anguo quickly knelt on the ground and said in his mouth: "The old minister did not understand His Majesty's intentions, it is a capital crime!" "What is Han Anguo's crime? First of all, Liu Che, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, wanted to fight the Huns, but you just sang the opposite tune, saying that you would adhere to the policy of peace and proximity. He also moved out the grandfather and father of Gaozu and Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty Liu Che, and quoted scriptures to say that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty Liu Che finally had to give in, saying "Lord Han is a sage, and his words are to be heard!" Behind Han Anguo were Prime Minister Tian Wei and the hundred officials, most of whom were against war, and only Daxing Ling Wang Hui supported the idea of Liu Che, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty.
Secondly, you old guy occupies the position, so that the young people have no way to get ahead, who will you clean up if you don't clean up? Li Guang, a famous general of a generation, said a classic sentence at the last moment of his life: I, Li Guang, have fought all my life, and I can't imagine that I will be insulted by the sword and pen officials in the end! After saying this, Li Guang drew his sword and killed himself, Han Anguo is not Li Guang, he knows the truth of showing weakness and survival. If you care too much about other people's evaluations, you are destined to live a bad life, when a later wave commented on my work, I listened to him silently, until he stopped talking, I asked: "Have you finished speaking?" He nodded, I smiled and said: "At my age, I don't need anyone's evaluation and affirmation anymore, forty is not confused, it is to see some things clearly, recognize some people, I have taken all the honors I can take, and now I can say that I have no regrets, but I owe too much to my family!" If you think I can't do it, let the people who do! ”
The above words are very relieving, but they will not do me any good, I will not learn from Li Guang, so in reality I only said one sentence: "You are right!" "Then continue to do things according to their own established rhythm, when people reach a certain age, they must learn to retreat, and they must understand that retreat will not necessarily lose, and if they do not retreat, they will definitely lose! When the Jianyuan reform failed, when Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty Liu Che was discouraged and disheartened, his teacher Wei Juan told him: "At this time, we must learn to retreat, retreat will not necessarily lose, and if we do not retreat, we will definitely lose, and now the strength and weakness are not contrasted!" Then Wei Juan also gave an example to Emperor Liu Che of the Han Dynasty, no matter how heavy a stone is, if it is placed on the ground, it can only be a stone forever, and when this stone is placed in a high place, he will have the power of thunder and thunder, shocking the power of the world! Wei Juan continued: "Therefore, Your Majesty now wants to gather momentum and not fight, this is what a wise man does!" ”
Many people say that Korea is a wise man who understands human nature, but in my opinion, Wei Xuan is superior! Although many people say that Wei Juan is mediocre and incompetent, how can he be incompetent if he has served three generations of emperors and can get a good death, and he is the prime minister to worship the Marquis of Jianling? Wei Juan is a person who knows how to advance and retreat, as the most trusted person of Emperor Wen of the Han Dynasty, after Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty ascended the throne, he did not reuse him, but put it aside from the shelf, because Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty invited hundreds of officials to a banquet when he was the prince, only this Wei Juan did not give face, which left a deep impression on Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty, and many people also said that Wei Juan was an unsophisticated person! Only Wei Juan himself knows that Emperor Wen of Han is his leader, and Liu Qi, the crown prince, is not in a stable position, and if he is too anxious to stand in line, there may not be any good results!
Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty was in trouble, and after the Rebellion of the Seven Kings was quelled, Dou Ying and Zhou Yafu around him were in full swing, making him very unhappy as an emperor. What's even more terrifying is that Dou Ying, a relative, and Zhou Yafu, the head of the heroes, are all on the side of the crown prince Liu Rong, and Liu Rong is a weak person, how can he be the monarch? But if you want to abolish the crown prince Liu Rong, you must first solve the problem of Dou Ying and Zhou Yafu, so Liu Qi, Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty, thought of Wei Juan. A person with principles will never completely forget when it comes. Wei Juan is such a person, he will not take the initiative to slap the prince like others just because Liu Qi is the prince, because the prince is not his lord, only the emperor is his master! When the emperor was in power and still held real power, but you went to befriend the crown prince, what do you let the emperor think of you?
Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty enabled Wei Juan to be a lieutenant, Wei Juan completed the task well and protected the safety of Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty, and Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Jing Emperor dared to seize the power of Dou Ying and Zhou Yafu, depose the crown prince Liu Rong, and set up Liu Che, the king of Jiaodong, as the crown prince. After completing all this, Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty wanted Wei Juan to attack Liu Rong and the Li family, but Wei Juan chose to remain silent, this kind of thing Wei Juan couldn't do. So the original hero Wei Juan became a cloth cloth, and was arranged by Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty to return to his hometown. Goshawk Zhi, who succeeded Wei Juan, completed the task well, but because of this incident, he was finally forced to commit suicide, and Wei Juan escaped. When Wei Juan went out of the mountain again, Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty asked him to be the teacher of the crown prince Liu Che and teach the prince Confucianism, while the Empress Dowager Dou asked Ji Di to teach the prince Liu Che and Huang Lao. Wei Juan knew that the prince's teacher was not so easy to do, and if he was not careful, his head would fall to the ground! Therefore, when Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty asked Huang Lao and Confucianism which was better or worse, he replied: "The minister only knows that Confucianism does not understand Huang Lao, so it is really difficult to distinguish between the two!" ”
After the death of Goshawk Zhidu, the position of the central guard became vacant, and Liu Qi, Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty, convened important ministers to discuss who could be a lieutenant among the hundred officials. Zhou Yafu recommended Han Rongdang, Dou Ying recommended Luan Bu, and when Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty asked Wei Juan, Wei Juan replied: "The primary duty of the prince and the prince is to assist the prince, as for who is suitable to be a lieutenant?" It should be up to His Majesty to decide! "Wei Juan knows this kind of major matter of personnel appointment, and Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Jing must have planned it a long time ago, so no matter who Dou Ying and Zhou Yafu say, it is meaningless. Sure enough, after Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty asked everyone's opinions, he said the best candidate in his mind. "Jinan Lieutenant Ning Cheng has a very good way to deal with Haoqiang, I think he will be the lieutenant! Someone came, and immediately summoned Ning Cheng to Beijing to take over the position of lieutenant! ”
Liu Wu, the king of Liang, heeded the advice of Yang Sheng and Gongsun Yi, and sent assassins to Beijing to assassinate ministers who opposed his appointment as prince, including Yuan An, a generation of famous ministers. Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty was furious and sent Wei Juan to Liangdi to bring back all the relevant evidence. Wei Juan collected a total of more than a dozen boxes of evidence, as well as the testimony of Liu Wu, the king of Liang, but in a place more than ten miles away from the capital, Wei Juan set a fire to burn all the evidence. When Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty asked Wei Juan, "You are so bold!" Who told you to burn all this stuff? Wei Juan replied: "Your Majesty, if the ministers don't burn those things, what will you do with King Liang?" How will you face the Queen Mother? Emperor Liu Qi of the Han Dynasty did not continue to ask, because he had already acquiesced in Wei Juan's approach, and Wei Huang solved a big problem for him, and made a compromise choice between national law and human feelings.
Some people will say that Wei Wan has no principles, it is nothing more than a wise person who protects himself and does nothing. But in my opinion, Wei Juan is loyal to his duties, and does not do things absolutely, does not form a party, does not engage in personal interests, knows how to advance and retreat, knows how to make trade-offs, and is by no means a person who does nothing!
One man's history, one family's words.