#寻找热爱表达的你#
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This was our third day in the hospital, and in the morning, the sun was shining through the hospital windows, dappled on the white tiles.
The doctor called me to the office and took out my husband's diagnosis report. Seeing the news that my husband was diagnosed with cancer on the report was like a thunderbolt from the sky, which instantly blew my world to pieces.
I didn't give up and asked, "Doctor, is my husband really terminally ill of cancer?" ”
The doctor nodded and said, "I'm also afraid of inaccuracy, and I consulted with several experts and agreed that it was the result of terminal cancer." ”
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and I hurriedly went out to see that it was the back of my husband leaving in a panic, and he must have heard my conversation with the doctor.
I hurried to chase him from behind, only to see him go to the toilet with heavy steps.
My heart pounded, and I was afraid that he wouldn't be able to think about it, so I hurried to follow and waited in the women's toilet across the wall.
Through the thin wall, I heard his trembling voice calling: "Honey, don't come first, we have been hiding from Yufang for so many years, why make her sad at this time......"
My name is Yufang, and the "dear" on the other end of the line is obviously not me, and I have never heard of him having dear.
At that moment, my mind went blank, as if the whole world was collapsing in an instant. It turned out that my dedication and perseverance for this family for so many years were so vulnerable in the face of his betrayal.
I tried to keep my emotions in check and not let the tears burst.
In everyone's eyes, I have always been the gentle and virtuous wife, a good wife and mother who takes care of the children, honors her in-laws, and keeps the house in order.
I could never have imagined that my husband's heart had long since left this warm harbor.
After thinking about it, I thought that he was now a matter of life and death, or decided to go through the normal process. I asked for leave from the unit, pretended to be calm, and accompanied my husband the whole time.
Discuss his treatment options with the doctor and start with chemotherapy. The side effects of chemotherapy tormented him like a demon, and he kept spitting yellow water, the smell was sour and rancid.
I took the trash can and without hesitation leaned over to catch the disgusting filth and patiently wipe his mouth. He endured the churning in his stomach and went to wash his stained shirt.
He had difficulty defecating, and I put on gloves without the slightest disgust.
When her husband was in a slightly better state, he held his mobile phone and smiled. I know who he's talking to, but I still don't debunk him, I want to maintain the image of a good wife and mother, even if it's just a mask I put on myself.
However, chemotherapy did not stop the frantic growth of the tumor, and the cancer cells spread inexorably.
The in-laws and sister-in-law were so anxious that they wanted to fight again and operate on their husbands.
I have always been the obedient daughter-in-law and sister-in-law, and this time, I also agreed to have surgery.
But who would have thought that the operation would accelerate the process of her husband's death. His physical function declined dramatically, and he was soon bedridden.
That day, my mother-in-law and I stayed by the bedside, and my sleeping husband was muttering a person's name again.
Actually, this is not the first time I've heard him say this, but I pretend not to care every time.
My mother-in-law looked at me cautiously and whispered, "Yufang, you have a lot of adults, so let the person he is talking to come and see him!" ”
I pretended to be stupid and pretended to be surprised and said, "Mom, what are you kidding, can you take a patient's nonsense seriously?" The mother-in-law opened her mouth, but was finally speechless.
That evening, the afterglow of the setting sun stained the ward orange. My husband miraculously came to his senses, and he looked at me with weak eyes, and there was an unknown longing hidden in his eyes.
I naturally walked up to him and said to him gently: "Husband, who are you thinking, in fact, I already knew, but don't think about it, I won't let you see her, because this is my last dignity as a wife!" ”
My husband stared at me, tears slowly welled up in his eyes, my in-laws and sister-in-law were on the side, and I didn't dare to come out, and the whole ward fell into a deathly silence.
However, just when everyone thought it was already the worst-case scenario, an even bigger secret was about to be revealed.
The day after my husband passed away, the funeral was going on in an orderly manner.
I stood aside with a blank face, watching the people who came and went to mourn, but there was no wave in my heart.
At this moment, a strange woman suddenly appeared at the funeral scene.
Her face was haggard, and her eyes were full of sadness and guilt. She walked up to me and fell to her knees.
"I'm sorry, Yufang, I'm sorry for you." She couldn't stop crying.
I looked at her suspiciously, and a bad feeling welled up in my heart.
"I'm the one he's been talking about. In fact, he has been secretly giving me money all these years to help me take care of my family. He said he was sorry for me and couldn't give me a name. ”
Hearing these words, my heart was pricked again. It turned out that her husband's betrayal was not only emotional, but also financial.
When the in-laws and sister-in-law heard this, they had shocked and angry expressions on their faces.
The mother-in-law pointed at the woman and scolded: "You HL spirit, you ruined my son's family and killed him!" ”
The sister-in-law rushed up and wanted to hit her, but was stopped by others.
And I, standing there, suddenly felt that it was all so ridiculous. I thought I was cold enough and strong enough to withstand all this, but this sudden truth still made me feel more hopeless than ever.
Just then, a lawyer walked in.
"Madam, your husband made a will before his death." The lawyer's words silenced everyone present.
I took the will, and my hands trembled.
The will says that my husband left most of his property to me and the children, leaving only one letter to the woman.
The letter reads: "My dear, I am sorry for you, and I am sorry for Yufang. I know I was wrong, and this is the punishment I deserve. I hope you can live well in the future. ”
After reading the letter, the woman cried even more heartbreakingly.
And at the last moment before my husband died, he seemed to see everything I had done for him in a blur.
Those days and nights, the unwavering care, and my last words pierced the darkness and guilt in his heart like a ray of light.
He used the last of his strength and muttered, "Yufang, I'm sorry, thank you......" Tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, which was his last repentance and gratitude to me.
After experiencing this series of blows and reversals, I finally couldn't help it, and tears welled up in my eyes.
I looked at the portrait of my husband and couldn't help but ask: If you know this, why did you bother in the first place? It's rare to have love at first sight with me and vows of mountains and seas, are they all games? Why do you pass it on to someone else?
But he just smiled at me and couldn't give me an answer.
The past is not a debt or a debt, and the rest of my life is very long, but how can I face this past full of lies and betrayals to find my own wonderful?