Author: Chan Yue
来源：知著网（ID：covricuc）
"Mom, eat fish, I'll just eat some vermicelli."
"It's all for you, tired and tired just to let you get into a better university for the elderly."
"Look at other people's ×× mothers, and when they graduate, they will pick up a car for their daughter."
Recently, videos of parents being treated with "Chinese-style education" have quickly gone viral. In the video, the younger generation uses familiar sentences to ask parents who once exported the concept of "guilt education" to them.
The reactions of the parents in the video are varied, some are puzzled, and some are annoyed.
The replies to the comments of the younger generation are equally thought-provoking.
There are fears that dare not be expressed, "Don't dare, my mother knows a little bit about rap, and my dad knows a little bit about punches and kicks";
There are also helpless individuals who have repeatedly failed to communicate;
There are also young people who talk about the beauty of their relationship with their families, and doubt the meaning and even the existence of "guilt education".
There is inevitably a generational difference between the younger generation and the previous generation in terms of life concept.
The core of "Chinese-style education" actually revolves around the difference in the concept of "whether you can succeed through suffering". On the basis of such differences, how can the younger generation make themselves more identifiable, and how can they reconcile with the older generation?
In such a discourse environment, what is the future of our run-in?
Chinese-style education? Wrapped guilt-based education
In our daily life, we often experience such a scene:
Children are given priority to be taken care of - hot meals are eaten first by children, and leftovers are solved by parents; There are new experiences, children come first, and parents don't need new experiences when they are older......
The growth of children comes with the expectations of parents. They may hope that their children will use their academic qualifications as an axe and sword to overcome obstacles for the future; Or hope that the child will be angry and strong, and inherit his mantle.
Screenshot of the animation "Goldfish Jar".
It's just that sometimes the excessive "hope that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix" has become a shackle that children can't get rid of. The eagerness of expectation inevitably leads to derailment.
The "betting" mentality on children has turned "suffering for children" into a self-moving family relationship model.
Ordinary parents and ordinary children all over the world may be bearing the price of "expectations". However, whether it is the inherent differences in families where "every family has a scripture that is difficult to read", or the individual pursuit of "everyone has their own aspirations", they are all raising sharp questions about "guilt education":
Does education and growth necessarily require suffering?
How can parents cope with their children's differences? How do children cope with their parents' expectations?
We have seen the term self-moving education a lot. From the "suffering education" and "gratitude education" in the past, to the "excited students" who have appeared more than once, or "Chinese-style education" and "Asian parents......
The younger generation seems to be facing a siege of "homeschooling": the pressure from parents is sometimes unbearable. Behind the pressure, the hidden psychological pressure of "everything is just for you" makes young people even more overwhelmed.
Bridging: On Education and Suffering, Material and Happiness
A problem, hidden behind the words of "guilt education".
The expression setting of "it's all for your good" can indeed make children worry - worry about their parents' disappointment, worry about not advancing or retreating, and worry about their own lives......
It's just that in the current era of relatively abundant social resources, can blindly enduring hardships help the younger generation find direction and realize themselves?
In these videos of "treating parents with Chinese education", bloggers use playful performances to express their dissatisfaction with their parents for "not suffering but also creating conditions to endure hardship".
Screenshot of the blogger "Ono Yiyi" video
Whether it is the humility of "you just eat meat, I eat something else", or the material comparison of "look at other people's parents, and the children will pick up the car after graduation", or the academic pressure of "you should work hard to go to a good university for the elderly at your age", they are all "defeating magic with magic", and the reverse output of the concept of "falling behind if you don't work hard" to the "old babies".
Screenshot of the blogger's "Little Bear's Whimsy" video
The banter and ridicule of "looking at the father and becoming a dragon, and looking at the mother into a phoenix" are clearly shown in these videos. After the teasing, we see a difference in the perception of "suffering".
The concept of "suffering and enduring hardship" in "Chinese-style education" comes from the thinking of the previous generation on the path of life development.
Perhaps, the original intention of the parents' expression of "I am doing this for you" is beautiful, and they have high expectations for their children.
However, does the guilt contained in such "Chinese-style education" have an impact on the mental health of young people in the process of motivating the younger generation?
The material conditions of the older generation in the process of growing up are naturally far inferior to those of the younger generation.
From the material scarcity of the past to the prosperity of today, it is inseparable from the hard work, physical and mental work of the generations before us. The rapid development of society is inseparable from the physical and mental training that the elders have suffered.
The differences in life between generations may have given some elders their own unique understanding of the "role of suffering". Even now, when the overall material resources of society are abundant, no matter how good the family conditions are, they all believe that it is necessary for children to endure hardships to grow up.
It's just that in the context of daily emotional expression, the transmission of the concept of "having to endure hardship" is often subject to a single communication habit, which makes children have a sense of resistance.
In our traditional habit of expressing emotions, there is often a lack of intuitive expression of love. The intuitive expression of "I love you" is often difficult to speak.
In the "Chinese-style education" environment where there is a lack of emotional expression, children who work hard because of guilt sometimes fall into the quagmire of inferiority complex and doubt because of the guilt they have existed since childhood.
Similarly, the rapid change in modern perception of happiness has also made the younger generation question the guilt of "Chinese-style education".
Communication: Re-establish communication and "love" comfortably
As the natives of the Internet, Generation Z is naturally an indispensable force in today's fast-growing modern online environment.
In the many video comments on "Chinese education treats parents", we can see many expressions of "dare not imitate".
There is the fear of "don't dare, my mom knows a little bit of rap, and my dad knows a little bit about punches and kicks", and there is also the ridicule of "imitated, my mom scolded me for being a white-eyed wolf while crying".
Screenshot of the animation "Goldfish Jar".
Indeed, the presentation of "Chinese-style guilt education" by Internet memes is inevitably exaggerated. The younger generation may also need to be a little more patient when dealing with elders who are keen to suffer.
Express yourself firmly and seek smooth communication.
In rebelling against "guilt education", we also sometimes find excessively fierce rhetoric of defiance. The maintenance of family relationships is not about blindly expressing oneself, but about realizing one's own will in compromise.
The craze for treating parents with Chinese-style education is a mixture of changes in the conditions of the times, alternation of intergenerational concepts, and completely different daily communication habits.
Differences in perceptions between generations sometimes bother the younger generation.
When the previous generation is urged to "step by step" in life, the younger generation will inevitably have a confrontational emotion of "I am for me, not for others". The ideas of the older generation are also influencing the rhythm of life and daily emotions of the younger generation.
Jokes about "Asian parents".
Perhaps because of generational differences and changes in social conditions, the concepts of young people have become so different from those of their elders that sometimes communication has become difficult or even difficult to achieve.
In the family, different generations are loving in their own way.
Whether it's an unspoken activist or an active communicator; Whether it is the subtle care of using a sentence of "It's time to eat" to soothe the conflict after the conflict, or the open state of using words to help build a good family environment......
These are actually the ways in which the older generation expressed their love.
While the younger generation feels the pleasure of self-expression in the education of "treating their parents with Chinese-style education", they should also learn to manage a good family atmosphere.
While the older generation feels the differences, they should also tolerate the overkill self-expression needs of the younger generation to a certain extent.
The meaning of "suffering" should be corrected by both the younger generation and the elders. The correction of the concept that "suffering does not mean success" requires both the positive expression of young people and the objective perception of environmental differences by elders.
In the process of educating the next generation, there must be a sacrifice of self-worth. In the process of growing up, you also need the right guidance and a harmonious family environment.
The dislocation of the concept of "suffering" in "Chinese-style education" is a vivid display of the different life pictures of two generations.
Between the difference between "the older generation does not suffer hard" and "the young people do not enjoy it", we are looking for the sharing of "love" in the family.
In the midst of frustration and enjoyment, adversity and prosperity, find ways to "love" comfortably.