Zhu Yuchen, born in Shanghai in 1979, grew up under the strict control of his mother Zhu Xiangling. Zhu Xiangling, who worked in the Shanghai Art Troupe, is a talented and resolute woman.
Before Zhu Yuchen was born, his father had died, leaving her alone to raise her son, and the death of her beloved made Zhu Xiangling pour all her love and expectations into her son, regarding him as the only sustenance, even private property.
However, this love has evolved into an almost suffocating control. Zhu Xiangling has set an extremely strict schedule for her son Zhu Yuchen: she has to get up at 6 o'clock every morning, practice the piano for an hour immediately after breakfast, and then have to do homework and read classic books; After lunch, take a half-hour break and continue to practice the piano, review homework, and learn English or other foreign languages in the afternoon. I practiced again at 7 p.m., and then I had to listen to music or look at famous paintings, and I went to bed at 9 p.m.
Under such a schedule, Zhu Yuchen has almost become a well-choreographed robot, and every minute and second is under his mother's control.
Zhu Yuchen is a shy child, and his eyes often show confusion and helplessness. He longs to have his own ideas and choices like other children, but whenever he tries to express his wishes, he is always blocked by his mother's words "I love you with my life" or "I am the top three Filipino maids".
Zhu Xiangling asked her son to never leave her sight and control, and completely obey her opinions and instructions.
In this way, under the heavy constraints of his mother, Zhu Yuchen grew up slowly, but he was never able to truly grow into an independent individual. He once revealed on the show: "My mother takes care of me too meticulously and is too stressful. "
This sentence expresses the pain in his heart, and also reflects his helpless childhood of Zhu Yuchen, who has been controlled by his mother for many years, as if he has become a cage bound by maternal love, in this cage, his personality and sense of autonomy are gradually suppressed, laying many hidden dangers for his future life.
As he grew older, Zhu Yuchen gradually emerged in the entertainment industry with his handsome appearance and superb acting skills. He has participated in popular film and television dramas such as "Struggle", "Who Calls the Shots in My Youth", "Hurricane", and also participated in variety shows such as "My Boy" and "Mom is Superman".
However, despite stepping into the star-studded showbiz, Zhu Yuchen still failed to get rid of his mother's control.
Zhu Yuchen's performance at work often seems cramped and uneasy, Zhu Xiangling has a strong desire to intervene in his career development, she arranges her son's daily life in detail, and even interferes with his love partner.
This excessive interference not only affected Zhu Yuchen's work performance, but also made the other members of the crew feel uncomfortable.
As time passed, rumors gradually began to circulate in the industry that Zhu Yuchen was a "mom treasure man". In order to avoid trouble, many directors began to reduce the opportunity to invite Zhu Yuchen to participate in performances, and his career was also affected, and he never became a first-line star.
Whenever he faces the camera, his eyes always reveal a trace of helplessness and bitterness, as if he is telling those unspeakable troubles.
Zhu Yuchen once sighed on the show, "Why is no one willing to stay with me?" This quote reflects both his emotional frustration and his troubled career.
He felt "like a lamb with his neck to the slaughter", and he had to bear the pressure of his career and deal with the strict demands of his mother, and the pain in his heart can be imagined.
Although Zhu Yuchen has a certain popularity in the entertainment industry, his career development has always been influenced by his mother. His mother's influence is not only reflected in the arrangement of his daily life, but also in his inability to make decisions independently and develop his career.
Zhu Yuchen's acting career is like struggling in the shadow of his mother, he is eager to succeed, but he can't get rid of the shackles, and this contradiction constantly affects his career development and inner world.
Zhu Yuchen's experience in relationships is deeply regrettable, he has had three high-profile relationships, but all of them failed to reach the end because of his mother's excessive intervention.
Zhu Yuchen and actor Tang Wei met and fell in love in high school, and the two prepared for the Central Academy of Drama together, but Tang Wei failed twice. But Tang Wei still insisted on coming to Beijing to accompany Zhu Yuchen, and they rented together.
However, Zhu Xiangling's attitude towards Tang Wei became more and more dissatisfied with Tang Wei At first, Zhu Xiangling's appreciation of Tang Wei became picky and dissatisfied, she thought that Tang Wei was not virtuous enough, could not cook, could not take care of people, and wanted to be an actor, and would steal the limelight with her son Zhu Xiangling even publicly said on the show: "I don't like Tang Wei, I don't think she is suitable for my son" Under huge pressure, Zhu Yuchen and Tang Wei finally broke up, leaving infinite regrets.
The second paragraph tells the love affair between Zhu Xiangling and Jiang Yan, and the two met while filming the TV series "The Story of Time". Kang Yan can be said to be the representative of the perfect woman, with a slender figure and superb cooking skills.
When she participated in the show "Sister Over Flowers", she was praised by Li Zhiting for having a better figure than Lin Chiling In terms of cooking skills, Jiang Yan is even more versatile, whether it is Chinese, Western or dessert, she can easily control At first, Zhu Xiangling had a good impression of Jiang Yan and praised her for being virtuous and capable, however, the good times did not last long, Zhu Xiangling forcibly broke up the couple on the grounds of "Jiang Yan's figure is too sexy", Zhu Yuchen faced his mother's decision, and he could only accept it helplessly, and the pain in his heart can be imagined.
The third paragraph is about the interaction between Zhu Xiangling and Huo Siyan during the filming of the movie "Love Is Perfect If You Are Perfect", and the two became acquainted with each other. Due to the harsh shooting environment, both suffered from "needle eyes".
After learning that Zhu Xiangling was ill, Huo Siyan immediately thought about finding a home remedy for her and boiling medicine, and brought one to Zhu Xiangling by the way. Huo Siyan's thoughtfulness and gentleness made Zhu Xiangling feel good about her, and even publicly said: "My daughter-in-law should be as beautiful and generous as Huo Siyan, and she can take care of people."
However, Zhu Xiangling's overly enthusiastic attitude made Huo Siyan feel uncomfortable. At a family dinner, Huo Siyan noticed the hints in Zhu Xiangling's words and realized the seriousness of the situation. In the end, this relationship that could have developed was also aborted due to Zhu Xiangling's strong intervention.
Every emotional failure cast a shadow on Zhu Yuchen's heart. He confessed on the show: "I don't dare to fall in love anymore." This sentence indirectly revealed the fear and helplessness in his heart.
Zhu Yuchen longs to find someone who can get along with each other, understand and support each other, not someone who is perfect and meets all the conditions of his mother. However, the power of his mother's intervention caused frequent setbacks in his love life, and gradually he lost his self-confidence and became passive. This actor who should be suave and suave, but in the emotional world, he is like a child who is at a loss, and he has never been able to get rid of his mother's control and pursue the love he really wants.
Although Zhu Xiangling has ruined her son's marriage many times, she has never given up the idea of finding a "perfect" partner for her son. Her requirements for her ideal daughter-in-law are so high that they are almost staggering.
Zhu Xiangling listed a series of specific requirements in the show, including being more than 1.65 meters tall, under 30 years old, weighing less than 50 kilograms, looking delicate and generous, and not too sexy. In addition to external conditions, she also requires the other party to "have temperament, connotation, education, and career", and at the same time "be able to cook, take care of people, and dress up".
This harsh list sparked heated discussions on the Internet, and some netizens humorously joked that Zhu Yuchen could only achieve it in a dream if he wanted to find such a woman. More direct people pointed out that Zhu Xiangling simply wanted to find a woman who was exactly like herself as her daughter-in-law, rather than sincerely thinking about her son.
Zhu Xiangling's approach not only did not solve the problem and find a suitable partner for her son, but made the potential partner afraid and even discouraged. She even said that she would send her son's photos and information to her circle of friends, so that everyone could help find a suitable girl.
Such an approach undoubtedly added fuel to the fire and deepened Zhu Yuchen's pressure and embarrassment.
Zhu Xiangling's excessive pursuit of the perfect daughter-in-law not only greatly narrowed Zhu Yuchen's range of mate selection, but also made him more and more cautious emotionally. This kind of almost pathological interference made Zhu Yuchen's marriage and love issue the focus of public attention, and also made him bear the nickname of "Ma Bao Man". So far, no one has dared to marry him.
In 2018, Zhu Yuchen participated in the variety show "My Kid", which had a huge impact on his life. In the show, he publicly vented his grief and anger at being manipulated by his mother for the first time, detailing many details.
When Zhu Yuchen said the sentence "My mother takes care of me too meticulously and is too stressful", his eyes were full of helplessness and confusion, and the national audience seemed to see that a soul that had been bound for a long time finally found an outlet to confide.
Zhu Yuchen frankly expressed his desire for love and freedom, and also expressed his pain of feeling "like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered by a choke".
Zhu Yuchen's openness resonated with people, and it also made him deeply realize the necessity of change. From then on, he began to try to live independently, trying to get rid of his mother's excessive control. He began to refuse some of his mother's unreasonable demands and began to make decisions about his life. However, it was not easy for Zhu Yuchen to walk on the road of independence. Long-term habitual dependence makes it difficult for him to move forward, because he has become insensitive, sometimes he suddenly realizes that he feels helpless about dependence, and sometimes he feels guilty for his small resistance.
Despite this, Zhu Yuchen was not discouraged and was still trying to change, he began to find his own happiness and worked hard to re-establish his interpersonal relationships. His attempts, like a toddler, will fall, but keep going.
Progress is slow, but every small step of progress offers a glimmer of hope. Zhu Yuchen's story has made more people aware of the seriousness of the problem of "Ma Bao Nan" and the independence and autonomy that an adult must have.
In order to better understand Zhu Yuchen's predicament, we need to delve into the roots of Zhu Xiangling's desire for control. In 1987, Zhu Xiangling suffered a major car accident that not only took her husband's life, but also caused damage to her vocal cords, and she was no longer able to pursue a career as a singer.
Since then, Zhu Xiangling's world seems to have collapsed. lost her beloved husband and lost her job as a proud singer, and the only thing she relied on was her young son Zhu Yuchen. Maybe it was because of the fear of loss, or maybe she wanted to make up for her regrets through her son, Zhu Xiangling pinned all her hopes on Zhu Yuchen.
She hopes that her son can continue her musical dream and become a successful singer. She hopes that her son can have a good life and avoid the pain and loss she has experienced like herself.
She prefers that her son will always obey her wishes and not leave her like her husband.
In order to realize her wishes, Zhu Xiangling did not hesitate to take all kinds of means to control everything about her son. She made full use of her authority and influence to arrange her son's study and work, she used her own vision and standards to select her son's girlfriend and daughter-in-law, and even used her own love and sacrifice to bind her son's feelings and conscience.
Zhu Xiangling's desire to control is to some extent a manifestation of distorted love, but this almost paranoid love has become the heaviest shackle for her son, hindering Zhu Yuchen's true growth and happiness.