In the past two days, someone happened to leave a message asking me this question, and I will talk about why girls who lack love are easy to meet scumbags when they grow up.
From the perspective of the objective law of psychological phenomena, "lack of love" is a process in which people's intellectualization ability is not well cultivated. The reason why people need to grow up in the company of their parents is because the role of parents can provide children with a correct and reasonable psychological coping model, so that they can face the difficulties in life.
For example, when a child is playing with his peers and is bullied by everyone, he feels very aggrieved and runs to his parents to cry and seek comfort. At this time, the role of parents begins to manifest.
On the one hand, parental care can provide a protective umbrella for children, and there is a need to be protected and safe; On the other hand, parents will also play a vital role in the education and guidance of their children.
I was bullied, did I fight back? Or ask your teacher for help, these are strategies that can be effectively coped.
In the process of caring, it actually includes the process of education, companionship, support, guidance and growth, and these factors exist to create the "offering of love".
Children who are full of love, their mental functioning is perfect. Psychological adjustment ability, stress resistance, and interpersonal relationship ability can be well cultivated, and when you grow up, you will be able to face these setbacks independently and deal with them reasonably.
However, if there is no love when you are a child and you don't get the care and companionship of your parents, what will happen to your children? They will be in a stage of stagnation of mental functioning. It stands to reason that psychology is to grow and upgrade, and at this time, parents cannot provide the function of education and guidance, and the child's psychology will be defective.
When they encounter problems, they don't know how to deal with them, and they lack the cognitive and emotional patterns to deal with them reasonably. Some people will cry and spill, but the more this happens, the more serious psychological defects it will cause.
When a person's psychology cannot grow, as the physical development matures, he will become an adult with mental defects in the future. At present, there will be a word to describe them on the market, giant babies, referring to this phenomenon. has become an adult and does not look like an adult, and it is still a naïve and immature psychological model.
Of course, they cannot be blamed for this phenomenon, and the role of parents should provide the problem. If you can't provide it, then you will continue to be frustrated in the process of growing up in the future.
Without parental education, what will children do if they don't get the right emotional relationship from childhood to adulthood? You will look for experiences in society. Strangers, friends, netizens, acquaintances at gatherings, etc., will get to know new objects from various channels, and then blind people touch elephants to sum up experience.
There is neither guidance nor reasonable feeling experience, it is purely a mistake, baptizing the various emotional experiences encountered in it.
Society is a big dye vat, and there are good people who naturally have good people. Girls who are not mentally mature will find it difficult to distinguish what is a "good relationship" and a mature emotional pattern in this process.
The same thing will be a completely different opinion in the eyes of different people.
For example, if you work overtime on Valentine's Day, your boyfriend can't go to the appointment on time to spend it together. Some people do not lack love, and their parents have encountered such things since they were children, and she has also seen how her parents deal with them. When she faced it herself, she immediately had a way to deal with it, saying: "It's okay, you can't spend Valentine's Day on the weekend, you can make good money, and we will be together then." ”
It's easy to solve life's problems.
But for girls who lack love and don't know how to love others, they will deal with this mess when they encounter it. If you are emotional, you will accuse your boyfriend of not loving you and crying in your relationship; Others will be emotional, saying that they want to break up, all kinds of noise, and in the end, the boyfriend can't stand it and chooses to break up.
This is the fundamental reason why the relationship of a person who lacks love can easily break down. It is not so much that lack of love leads to no love, but the essence is that the mind does not grow and deal with emotional problems relatively weakly, and then the emotional problems are triggered.
And in this, the mode of scumbags playing with feelings can easily make them fall into a trap. Rational emotion is a stable, peaceful state, full of empathy; Irrational emotions are passionate, romantic everywhere, and luxurious days everywhere.
When the limelight passes, the true nature is exposed, the scumbag abandons the girl, and in the end, the girl will be left alone to bear the trauma of emotional setback.
Therefore, to improve this problem and solve the problem of girls encountering scumbags from the source, the root cause is to improve their psychological function and mental ability, learn how to love themselves and others, and how to be a reasonable and stable emotional relationship mode, which is particularly crucial.
Whether you are looking for a partner or making friends, you need to be cautious, if you can meet a good person, you can accompany you to grow up, make up for the problems caused by the lack of love, and you can also reap happiness in the future.