Yang Jiang once wrote an inscription for "The Siege of the City": "People in the city want to escape, people outside the city want to enter, no matter marriage, occupation, many wishes in life, this is probably the case." ”
When I read "The Siege" for the first time when I was young, I only felt that Fang Hong's personality was cowardly and his marriage was bumpy. Now re-reading it, I realize that its misfortune comes from itself, which makes people both pity its misfortune and anger it.
He should have been diligent in learning, but he wasted his years; should work hard for the cause, but it is perfunctory; Faced with the choice of partner, he hastily married Sun Roujia, and finally fell into the difficulty of marriage.
On the road of life, there are few key moments, and the difference of one step may rewrite the trajectory of a lifetime's destiny.
「1」
True talent and practical learning are the foundation of personal confidence
Fang Hongchuan, born in a squire family in the south of the Yangtze River, his father was a former dynasty man, although he was admired by the township, but his thinking was a little old-fashioned. Since he was a child, Fang Hongji's marriage has been decided by his father, and he has made a marriage contract with Miss Zhou, but he has never seen his fiancée.
When he went to study in Beiping, Fang Hong gradually witnessed the scene of free love of others, and became envious, so he had the idea of quitting the marriage, but was severely reprimanded by his father, and the matter was never resolved. Unfortunately, his fiancée died of illness before she could graduate. Under his father's order, Hong gradually sent a letter to his father-in-law to express his condolences. Fortunately, the father-in-law's family felt that he was knowledgeable and courteous, and decided to sponsor him to study abroad.
Hung gradually did not expect such good fortune and was grateful to his late fiancée. However, despite this opportunity, he was unable to focus on civil engineering, instead of studying sociology and philosophy, and finally graduated from the Department of Chinese Literature. After studying abroad for four years, he traveled to London, Paris, and Berlin, covering a wide range of courses, but he had no experience, and his life was lazy and wasted his time.
When he was about to graduate, he was faced with the question of his doctorate at home, and he gradually bought a fake diploma in a panic to cope. He took a doctor's photo and sent it to his parents and father-in-law, but there was no joy in his heart. Unexpectedly, when his parents and father-in-law learned of the news, they were very happy, and even publicized the matter in the local newspaper.
At the behest of his father, Hong gradually returned to his hometown to give a speech at middle school, and wanted to resign, but he was accepted by his father and regarded as a family honor. In order to prepare for the speech, he hurriedly flipped through the history books and pieced together a thousand-word speech, but he was at a loss because he wore the wrong clothes and lost the speech. In desperation, Hong gradually babbled nonsense, and even mentioned "opium" and "syphilis", which embarrassed the teachers and students present. When he stepped down, he was ashamed and did not dare to face everyone.
After this incident, Fang Hong's reputation gradually declined, and he was regarded as a gentleman, who did not learn and did not know how to do it. In fact, everything is due to Hong's failure to cherish the opportunity to study abroad, but instead wandering outside, squandering money and wasting his youth. When others return from their studies, Hong gradually has no appearance, and there is no real talent to learn.
Knowledge and talent, although invisible, can profoundly affect people's lives and become the confidence of walking society. Therefore, in the youth, we must cherish the time and study diligently, so as not to lose our foothold in the future due to the lack of real talent and learning.
「2」
A stable career is a solid cornerstone of life
Fang Hongji, who had just returned to China, quickly won the favor of his father-in-law's family, and even if his beloved daughter died early, they were still pleased with his son-in-law's excellence. The father-in-law was busy arranging work for him, while the mother-in-law was enthusiastic in choosing a suitable partner for him. Being in such a warm family, Fang Hongjian is undoubtedly lucky.
However, as Fang Hong's emotional entanglement with Miss Su and Miss Tang deepened, he finally angered his mother-in-law, causing him to be expelled from the house. At this time, out of good intentions, his rival Zhao Xinlin, and in order to keep Fang Hong away from Miss Su's troubles, he privately obtained a teaching position at Sanlu University, and this letter of appointment brought a new dawn to Fang Hong.
On the way to Sanlu University with Zhao Xinlin, Fang Hong gradually had the good fortune to meet his future partner Sun Roujia. After arriving, Fang Hongjian encountered embarrassment: he was originally invited by the president to be a professor, but he was demoted to associate professor due to a lack of degree certificates, and the course schedule was scarce. Although he was dissatisfied with this, he also faced it calmly, knowing that his ability was limited.
The school arranged for him to teach theory courses, but due to his own lack of research and lack of reference books, although he prepared the lessons diligently, the teaching effect was not satisfactory. In the second half of the class, he often fell into the dilemma of having nothing to say, he was nervous, and the students were snickering, and the classroom atmosphere was extremely tormenting.
In addition, the phenomenon of absenteeism is becoming more and more serious, which makes Fang Hong increasingly worried. Sanlu University, a seemingly quiet institution, is actually full of intricate interpersonal relationships and undercurrents. Fang Hong gradually found it difficult to fit in, and was often isolated. To make matters worse, a colleague who also held a fake academic qualification framed him and instructed students to report his teaching problems, which nearly cost him his job.
Only Zhao Xinlin was his confidant, but Zhao Xinlin's sudden resignation due to his ambiguous relationship with the teacher's wife made Fang Hong more isolated and helpless. He struggled to cope with complex interpersonal relationships. At the end of the semester, Fang Hongji, who was not renewed, had no choice but to leave Sanlu University in gloom.
After returning to Shanghai, thanks to Zhao Xinlin's recommendation, Fang Hongjian was able to get a position in the newspaper. However, his false diploma and shallow knowledge have already foreshadowed the ups and downs and frustrations of his career.
After studying abroad for several years, he was able to make mistakes in English expression, lacking neither the endless knowledge nor the consciousness of hard study. Even when the opportunity came, he failed to do his job to the fullest extent and move forward steadily.
At first sight, Fang Honggradually seemed to be full of shortcomings, but after in-depth understanding, he still retained many good qualities: kind-hearted, innocent, not flattering the powerful, treating people sincerely, and never cheating.
However, these advantages, while loved, did not contribute to the steady development of his career. During his year as a teacher at Sanlu University, his interactions with teachers and principals revealed his personality shortcomings: he was cowardly and avoidant, lacked initiative and enthusiasm, and always seemed to passively accept the arrangements of life instead of actively pursuing his dreams.
Looking back on Fang Hongji's career, from the assistance of his father-in-law's bank, to the teaching position of Sanlu University, to the staff of the newspaper, and finally to Zhao Xinlin's trip to Chongqing, every step was laid by others. He neither refused nor devoted himself wholeheartedly, and this "casualness" gradually narrowed his career path, and even lost his former self-confidence in front of his wife, whose income had surpassed him.
Career is the foundation of life. If you want to live a stable life, you must first establish the roots of your career, so that you can have the spare energy to fall in love and chase your dreams. In youth, don't choose comfort; When you are full of energy, you should not give up easily. Because opportunity never waits for anyone, it only favors those who have the courage to grasp and work tirelessly.
「3」
A good partner lays the foundation for happiness in life
The protagonist of the book, Fang Hongji, has a rich emotional experience.
On the return voyage, he met Miss Bao for a short time. Subsequently, I met Miss Su, who also returned from studying abroad, and the relationship between the two was delicate and ambiguous.
Soon, Fang Hong gradually fell into obsession with Miss Su's cousin Tang Xiaofu. However, due to Miss Su's intervention and misunderstanding, his love with Tang Xiaofu ended in a hurry before it bloomed.
This series of emotional entanglements profoundly shows the weakness of Fang Hongji's character. Although he had no intention of Miss Su, he became close to her under the catalysis of the moonlight; is full of admiration for Tang Xiaofu, but lacks the courage to clarify the misunderstanding, so he can only passively accept the arrangement of fate.
Later, during the journey to Sanlu University, Fang Hong gradually met Sun Roujia, who had just graduated. Sun Roujia, who is weak on the outside, is actually scheming. Under her ingenious layout, Fang Hong gradually unconsciously stepped into her emotional world, and finally married her hastily.
"Marriage does not need to be vigorous love, as long as they do not dislike each other, it is a sufficient foundation for union." Fang Hong gradually relieved himself. Perhaps, he never really fell in love with Sun Roujia, but just met someone at the right time who was willing to spend the rest of his life with.
Once you enter marriage, you feel like you have stepped into a besieged city, surrounded by constraints and repression. During the preparation of the wedding, they quarreled over the trivial matter of "buying new clothes", and after returning to Shanghai, the dispute intensified.
The two families are incompatible with each other, although the Fang family is no longer glorious in the past, but it was also prominent in the past, and the first time I saw my daughter-in-law Sun Roujia, I was not very satisfied. Mrs. Fang was secretly disappointed, thinking that Roujia was not as beautiful as in the photo, and the clothes were not festive enough, especially the unlucky white leather shoes, which made her feel that Roujia did not look like a bride.
On the other hand, the Sun family questioned Fang Hongji's ability, believing that he was not worthy of Sun Roujia. As a result, the Fang family thought that the Sun family was arrogant and rude, and the Sun family thought that the Fang family was old-fashioned, and the pressure on the two families was like a boulder, pressing the already fragile couple out of breath.
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They were looking forward to living a quiet and peaceful life after moving into their small home, but the disputes and conflicts between the two families still followed. Sun Roujia's aunt frequently intervened in their lives, which annoyed Fang Hong; The younger brothers and daughters-in-law of the Fang family also disturbed Sun Roujia from time to time, causing her a lot of troubles.
There are few sweet moments when you are in love, and after marriage, you are caught in endless quarrels and accusations. They even spoke ill of each other, Sun Roujia accused Fang Hong of gradually exaggerating, questioning how Miss Su could fall in love with him; Fang Hongjian retorted angrily, bluntly saying that although he was rejected by Miss Su, he never expected that there would be a woman like Sun Roujia who would do everything possible to marry him. As soon as these words came out, Sun Roujia's heart was like a knife, and she was desperate.
In just four months, the joy of the newlywed has vanished, and the marriage has been shattered. It was as if they were trapped in a besieged city, struggling but unable to escape.
True happiness comes from a compatible partner and a harmonious marriage. And a broken marriage, an annoying partner, will only bring endless pain. Life is long, and if you are under siege all day long, what a heavy burden and sorrow it will be.
Fang Hongji's life is full of tragic tones, and most of these tragedies come from his own choices: he did not cherish his study time, he lacked initiative when working, and he was blind and hasty in marriage.
The writer Liang Wendao once profoundly pointed out: "Both men and women, if they lack the ability to live independently, it is difficult to build happiness with others." ”
The root cause of many people's misfortune often lies in the self. Those whose lives were already disrupted when they were single often do not have significant improvements in their married lives.
Life is a long road, and the three major opportunities to change your destiny - study, career, and marriage, once you miss it, you may miss the opportunity to rewrite your destiny.
May you cherish every moment, strive to bloom yourself, love what you are pursuing, and find and enjoy your own happiness and satisfaction in this troubled world.