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This article is fictional, and the names of people, places, or other aspects involved in the text have nothing to do with reality (without any implications). If there is any similarity, it is purely a coincidence, please read it rationally.
On cold winter nights, snowflakes fall gently, giving the whole city a white coat.
In a cosy café in the heart of the city, the aroma of coffee fills the air with orange-yellow lights shining on wooden tables and chairs. Two middle-aged women sat at a small table in the corner, talking to each other in low voices.
Shen Rulan held the warm coffee cup in her hand, and her eyes flashed with tears. Her friend Liu Qinglime listened quietly, nodded occasionally, and handed Shen Rulan a tissue.
Shen Rulan took a deep breath and said, "Lime, my marriage failed, I used to think I was doing well enough, but in the end it came to an end. ”
Liu Qinglime held Shen Rulan's hand and asked gently, "What do you think is the problem?" ”
Shen Rulan smiled bitterly and said slowly: "It took me a long time to understand that happiness in marriage is not maintained by the efforts of one party alone. There are four things that a woman must learn to do if she wants to be happy in her marriage. ”
Liu Qingling frowned slightly, and looked at Shen Rulan curiously: "What are the four things?" ”
Shen Rulan did not answer immediately, but fell into memory. She knew that these four things were valuable experiences that she had gained in exchange for pain. She decided to tell Liu Lime about these important marriage rules through her story......
Husbands and wives should learn to communicate with each other
Shen Rulan recalled the days when she and her ex-husband Li Jianguo lived.
At that time, they were still living in a small cosy apartment, and the windowsill was filled with her carefully tended greenery. At first, they also had a sweet time.
Every weekend, they would go to the market together to buy groceries and prepare a good dinner together when they got home. The kitchen was full of laughter, and Li Jianguo often quietly hugged Shen Rulan from behind when she was busy, and whispered: "You are so good, I am so lucky to meet you." ”
However, over time, the pressures of work and life have distanced them. Li Jianguo is an introvert, and he always keeps himself stuffy when he encounters problems.
Shen Rulan remembered that autumn evening, the wind outside the window rustled the leaves, and the night was quiet and deep. Li Jianguo has always returned late recently, and he is also silent after returning home, as if he has endless thoughts on his mind.
Once, Shen Rulan found that Li Jianguo's face was tired when he came back, his eyes were bloodshot, and he was full of doubts, but he didn't know how to speak.
She feared that speaking out would make him feel stressed, but she couldn't stand the feeling of detachment either. Shen Rulan decided to prepare a warm dinner first, hoping to take this opportunity to have a good talk with Li Jianguo.
At the dinner table, Shen Rulan carefully prepared Li Jianguo's favorite braised pork and fried beans, and specially opened a bottle of red wine that the two of them were usually reluctant to drink. She smiled and said to Li Jianguo: "It's hard work today, come, try the dishes I made." ”
Li Jianguo looked at the sumptuous dishes on the table, and a reluctant smile appeared on his face. He picked up his chopsticks, but he seemed absent-minded. Shen Rulan couldn't help but ask softly: "Jianguo, you have been working overtime lately, is there something you are hiding from me?" ”
After Li Jianguo heard this, his face instantly became gloomy, and his chopsticks stopped in mid-air. A fierce quarrel broke out between the two, with Li Jianguo complaining that Shen Rulan didn't understand his work pressure, while Shen Rulan felt that she was being excluded, and her heart was full of grievances and anger.
Gradually, the two people became more and more reluctant to communicate with each other, and eventually the problems became more and more backlogged, and their marriage also came to an end.
Shen Rulan said to Liu Qinglime: "The most important thing between husband and wife is communication. Without real communication, misunderstandings and estrangements will only get deeper and deeper, eventually leading to the breakdown of the marriage. ”
With tears in her eyes, she continued, "Communication is not just a verbal exchange, it's a heart-to-heart conversation. Marriages can only be strengthened through mutual understanding and tolerance. But when one party is never able to open up, the marriage loses its foundation. ”
It is true that if you want to be happy in your marriage, then every detail needs to be carefully managed, and only in mutual understanding and support can we move towards a better future together.
Trust between husband and wife
Shen Rulan's second lesson comes from a crisis of confidence.
During that time, she found that Li Jianguo always received calls late at night, and avoided her every time. This made Shen Rulan suspicious and suspected that Li Jianguo was having an affair.
On a late autumn night, the cold wind blew in through the crack in the window, Shen Rulan wrapped her shawl tightly, and all kinds of speculations were surging in her heart. Li Jianguo once again hurriedly walked into the study after receiving the call and closed the door.
Shen Rulan was apprehensive in her heart, and quietly approached the door of the study, and vaguely heard Li Jianguo whispering something through the crack in the door.
She didn't dare to rush in, afraid to see the truth that she couldn't accept. She returned to the living room and sat on the couch, staring at the dim lamp, her mind distracted. After Li Jianguo came out of the study, he saw Shen Rulan's silent appearance and asked softly, "Why haven't you slept yet?" ”
Shen Rulan barely squeezed out a smile and shook her head: "It's okay, I was thinking about something just now." ”
In the dead of night, Shen Rulan tossed and turned, unable to sleep. The scene of Li Jianguo answering the phone repeatedly appeared in her mind, and the doubts and uneasiness in her heart gradually magnified.
She began to suspect Li Jianguo's every behavior, every late return, every text message, and even a casual look.
Later, Shen Rulan found that Li Jianguo's calls were still frequent, and he began to hide his whereabouts even more.
Once, she accidentally saw an ambiguous text message on Li Jianguo's mobile phone, and the sender was a woman she didn't know. At that moment, her heart was completely cold.
She asked Li Jianguo why there was such a text message. Li Jianguo was furious, claiming that it was just a colleague who had sent the wrong message, but Shen Rulan could no longer believe his words. The trust between the two completely collapsed, the quarrels continued, and the relationship became more and more stiff.
"Trust between husband and wife is the cornerstone of a marriage. Suspicion and suspicion only make the relationship fragile. When trust is destroyed, no matter how hard you try, it will be difficult to restore it to the way it used to be. ”
Shen Rulan said to Liu Qingling: "The suspicion and uneasiness during that period made me sensitive and suspicious, and eventually the trust between us completely collapsed, and the marriage was over." ”
Both parties in a marriage need to be trusted. Once trust is broken, the marriage will not be able to continue.
Women are expected to remain independent in marriage
Another important reason for Shen Rulan's marriage failure is that she gradually lost herself in her marriage.
After getting married, Shen Rulan quit her job and devoted herself to taking care of her family and children. At first, she felt that it was her duty and happiness, but as time went on, she began to feel empty and lost.
Every morning, Shen Rulan gets up early to prepare breakfast for her family. Watching the children go to school with their schoolbags on their backs, Li Jianguo hurriedly went out to work, and she stayed alone in an empty home, often feeling an indescribable loneliness in her heart.
Housework and trivial life fill her every day, and her former dreams and pursuits seem more and more distant.
One day, when Shen Rulan was sorting out old things, she accidentally turned to a notebook from her college days. Looking at those words full of ideals and hopes, her heart was filled with sourness. She used to be a girl with passion and dreams, why has she become so mundane and helpless now?
That night, Shen Rulan lay on the bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She suddenly realized that she had lost the independent and confident self she had been. She decided to rediscover her career and interests, and find the energetic and dreamy Shen Rulan.
The next day, Shen Rulan told Li Jianguo that she wanted to work again. After Li Jianguo heard this, his brows furrowed slightly, and he said, "It's good for you to take care of the children at home now, why go out to work again?" ”
Shen Rulan felt disappointed, but she didn't give up. She began to actively look for job opportunities and enrolled in a vocational training course to improve her skills. After several months of hard work, Shen Rulan finally found a suitable position in a company and re-entered the workplace.
However, Shen Rulan's rework did not make Li Jianguo happy. On the contrary, he began to be dissatisfied with Shen Rulan's changes, believing that she had neglected the needs of her family and children.
There are more and more contradictions between the two, and the quarrels are becoming more and more frequent. Shen Rulan felt that her balance between family and career had become extremely difficult, and Li Jianguo's attitude made her feel frustrated.
One day, Shen Rulan came home from overtime and saw Li Jianguo sitting alone in the living room with a gloomy face. Li Jianguo asked her, "What are you for?" Is work so important? Have you ever considered how your children feel? ”
Shen Rulan's heart was sour, she took a deep breath, and said calmly: "Jianguo, I am also a person with dreams and pursuits. I hope I can find value in my career, not just as a housewife. ”
Li Jianguo sneered: "Your dreams and pursuits? What about our families and children? Have you forgotten your responsibilities? ”
Shen Rulan's heart seemed to be stabbed fiercely, she looked at Li Jianguo, her eyes were full of helplessness and sadness. She realized that although she had regained her job, she had lost Li Jianguo's understanding and support.
In the final analysis, marriage is not everything in life, no matter when and where, no matter whether men and women, they need to maintain a "heaven and earth" that belongs to them. Only in this way can this relationship last.
Respect each other
Finally, Shen Rulan told the story about respect. Once, she and Li Jianguo had an argument at a family party.
It was a warm spring afternoon, and Shen Rulan and Li Jianguo were invited to a relative's party.
During the party, Shen Rulan was chatting happily with a few relatives, and suddenly someone mentioned the balance between work and family. Shen Rulan talked about her experience of trying to find a balance between work and family, and said that she was fortunate to be able to return to work and regain her worth and self-confidence.
Just as she was about to speak, Li Jianguo came over with a gloomy face. He interrupted Shen Rulan's words and said coldly: "Don't brag here, work is so important?" Let's take care of the family first. ”
Shen Rulan's face instantly turned pale, and the relatives and friends around her were also stunned, and the atmosphere instantly became extremely embarrassing. She felt extremely humiliated, and her eyes were slightly red, but she held back her tears and did not lose her temper in front of everyone.
It was because of this experience that Shen Rulan understood that her husband not only did not support her to go out to work, but she didn't even know how to give herself the most basic respect.
Perhaps it was also at that moment that Shen Rulan was completely dead to her husband.
"Mutual respect is the key to a happy marriage. Without respect, any effort is in vain. ”
"Respect is not only understanding and tolerance of the other person, but also recognition of the other person's choices and efforts. If even the most basic respects are not met, the relationship loses its meaning. ”
After completely ending the marriage, Shen Rulan finally had the courage to say these words.
epilogue
After listening to Shen Rulan's story, Liu Qinglime was deeply inspired.
Happiness in marriage is not accidental, but the result of the joint efforts of both husband and wife. Communication, trust, independence and mutual respect are the four pillars that hold a marriage together. It is only on these foundations that a marriage can be strong and long-lasting, and that it will be happy.
As the sun sets, the two friends continue to communicate in the warm café, and the essence of marriage is constantly dissected in this conversation.
Marriage is not only a union of two people, but also a contract of hearts.
Only through mutual understanding, respect and support can we face the ups and downs of life together and move towards a better future.
The journey of marriage needs to be carefully managed and cared for each other in order to truly taste the sweetness of happiness.
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