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#长文创作激励计划#许多婚姻在起始阶段总是充满幸福与祝福, however, this confidence tends to fade over time.
Not all marriages that are not divorced mean happiness, and many marriages are just in vain, especially when people reach middle age, even if both parties are not cheating, but the distance between them is getting farther and farther away.
Back at home, husband and wife are speechless to each other, let alone intimate contact, which has also become the norm in most middle-aged marriages, which is doubly poignant.
The "coldness" of middle-aged marriage
People have a natural tendency to like the new and hate the old, and a person who has just been with you may accommodate you everywhere and consider everything for you, but over time, this attitude may gradually change.
However, this change usually does not hurt, and it is only when the two of them actually enter the marriage that the oppressive feeling of breathing becomes difficult.
Especially when people reach middle age, the husband and wife have gone through decades of ups and downs together, but under the erosion of the years, the former enthusiasm and romance have gradually become dull and boring, and the distance between them has also widened.
The two lived together, but there was no intimate communication, only the sound of water running in the kitchen and the noise of the TV broke the silence.
The farthest distance between husband and wife is that they are close to each other, but as if the other party does not exist, does not understand your daily life, and even does not know when you fall asleep, this sense of alienation is the unspeakable sadness in marriage.
Two people who have gone through the ups and downs together and walked hand in hand are now busy with their own lives, and some people are so exhausted by the burdens of life that they ignore each other's feelings, especially after the birth of a child.
There are also those who quarrel over daily trivial matters, only to be exchanged for endless sadness and disappointment, and as time passes, the enthusiasm in their hearts gradually fades.
This prosaic and estrangement leaves many middle-aged couples feeling confused and helpless, eager to regain the warmth and intimacy of the past, but do not know where to start.
Physical alienation
In addition to emotional estrangement, middle-aged couples face resistance and apathy to physical contact, and as they age, their physical needs gradually diminish and their desire for intimacy decreases.
They can't remember the last time they were affectionate, only that it had been a long time since they had spoken intimate words to each other, and they hadn't fallen asleep cuddling again.
Some couples even sleep in separate beds and become the most familiar strangers, and sometimes one party tries to break this distance, but the other party refuses, which undoubtedly exacerbates the estrangement between husband and wife.
Of course, this does not mean that the other party is cheating, but if the husband and wife lose interest in each other, is it still a couple?
The answer to this question may vary from person to person, but one thing is certain: without intimate communication and contact, love fades away.
Once on the Baidu forum, a woman shared her personal experience, she said that she and her husband have been married for seven years, have a lovely child, and each have a stable job, which seems to be a very happy family.
However, this seemingly happy marriage has actually existed in name only, and although neither of them cheated and there were few quarrels, there was no longer a desire for intimacy and communication between them.
She also tried to communicate with her husband, hoping to regain the tacit understanding she once had, but each attempt ended in recalling unpleasant past events and quarrels, and eventually she no longer had the desire to communicate, let alone physical contact.
It may be difficult for a young couple who are immersed in love to imagine such an experience, but this is the reality, love may be too idealistic, and married life needs to face more realistic considerations.
People who don't have the courage to come together will only be defeated by reality, in the eyes of outsiders, they are still a normal couple, but in private, their relationship has existed in name only.
Perseverance is a responsibility
In a love variety show, there was once such a middle-aged couple in tears.
My wife confessed: "After returning home, the two of us can hardly talk a few words, which causes me to become more and more reluctant to talk now, and I just want to be alone." "
The husband said: "I have been an old husband and wife for decades, what else is there to say, where is there so much to talk about?" Aren't you busy enough at home?" After the husband said this, the wife fell silent again, and finally went backstage to wipe her tears.
It can be seen that the trivial things in life have caused many middle-aged couples to lose their common language, and the once intimate lovers have now become so difficult to communicate.
So since life is full of complexity and pain, and there is no love, why not choose divorce? Because the cost of divorce is so high that many people would rather endure it than divorce.
I had a colleague of mine who was also facing such a dilemma, she couldn't stand the status quo and didn't want to get a divorce, and she was depressed all day long, so I asked her, "If it's so uncomfortable, why don't you get a divorce?" "
She replied with a wry smile: "There are old and young, how can divorce be so simple?" This colleague's words reveal the dilemma and helplessness faced by middle-aged couples in marriage.
Yes, after getting married, both husband and wife have a lot of responsibilities, supporting their parents, raising children, taking care of their families, etc., each of which is heavy and full of challenges.
Once divorced, the question arises one after another: how to deal with your parents? How can I keep my child from being harmed? What should I do with my property? How to divide the debt?
How many couples have quarreled because of these things, and in the end, the in-laws have become enemies, lovers have become enemies, and under such a dilapidated roof, there is no absolute winner.
Therefore, most middle-aged couples will choose to compromise after weighing the pros and cons, because whether it is out of the reality of marriage or emotional considerations, divorce is often not an easy decision for middle-aged couples.
Only I am the most loyal partner
Although the road to marriage is full of unknowns and challenges, not every marriage ends in tragedy, and some couples are able to live ordinary days to the fullest, turning the otherwise boring married life into vitality.
The key to rediscovering and igniting love in your marriage is to dress up once in a while, surprise each other, go out and enjoy the food together, enjoy the world of the two, and show love by giving gifts to each other on special days.
In addition, no matter how busy we are, we can't ignore physical intimacy, which is an important bond in married life, even if we enter middle age and face all kinds of pressure, but as long as we are willing to change, marriage can still be full of fun and freshness.
At the same time, we must also know that marriage is an integral part of life, but it is not the whole of our lives.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu once said in "The Siege of the City": "Marriage is like a besieged city, those outside the city are eager to enter, while those inside the city are eager to escape, no matter what, you must always keep yourself." "
In the journey of life, no matter who we walk with, we are ultimately independent individuals, only ourselves, can always be loyal to ourselves, after all, not everyone is so lucky to be able to find the person they love and spend their lives with.
If this relationship never brings you happiness, it is better to be brave enough to let go and give each other freedom, which may be the most suitable choice for each other.
summary
In the married life of many middle-aged couples, "never leave, but not touch you" seems to become the norm, but since we have chosen each other, we should strive to create a family environment full of love and understanding.
In daily life, communicate more, care more, and let simple conversations become a bridge to warm each other's hearts, but if the feelings between each other are really irretrievable, then be brave enough to let go and live for yourself.