Children are working hard, parents must do a good job of supervision! Don't be a "fake caring" person

Apricot mom parenting

2024-07-31 09:37Posted in Guangdong Parenting Creator

Written by: Xiao Song

Summer vacation is supposed to be a time for children to relax and enrich themselves, but it often becomes an explosive period of tension and learning anxiety between parents and children. A few days ago, my best friend poured bitter water on me, saying that her son Ono's summer vacation had exhausted her.

After Ono's summer vacation, his girlfriend carefully formulated a "summer vacation corner overtaking" plan for him. Every day, Ono wakes up at 7 a.m. and goes to bed at 11 p.m., filled with all kinds of study tasks, from completing summer assignments, to dealing with the legacy of the previous semester, to preparing for the next semester's homework.

But half a summer vacation has passed, but the result is a big disappointment for my girlfriend. Ono's homework progress was slow, his schoolwork was not improving, he couldn't even answer the simple questions of the last semester, and the grades on the math papers he did were even more miserable.

In fact, Ono can't be said to be industrious, but the method is wrong, everything is in vain, this is just a kind of "fake effort". Just like a girl that a homeroom teacher once met, she was full of notes in class, actively asked the teacher to answer questions after class, and studied hard until late at night at home.

However, the results of the mid-term exams were miserable, and many subjects were failed. Only to dig deeper found that she only cared about taking notes in class and did not really understand knowledge; If you don't understand the question, you can read the answer, thinking that if you understand, it is not; There is a lack of planning for learning, and it is difficult to accumulate what you want to learn.

Not only will the child "fake effort", but the parent may also have "fake care". The speaker of the Hundred Pulpits once told a story. When a mother was cleaning, she casually asked her son if he had finished his homework, which caused her son to be furious. It turned out that the mother nagged and urged every day, no matter whether the son answered or not, in exchange for a meal. The mother thought it was care, but in fact it was "pseudo-care", which became an obstacle to the child's learning.

In the book "The Awakening of Parents", it is written: "Every child has the potential to become an excellent person, but the different ways of education of parents give children a different life."

To let children say goodbye to "fake efforts", parents can not "fake care", for children, to do the following three things:

Improves concentration. Children are less efficient in learning and often have poor concentration. Parents can try time management by setting a focus time of 15-30 minutes according to their child's situation, re-timing when deserting, and resting for 5-10 minutes before starting the next round. At the same time, create a quiet learning atmosphere for children and not make loud noises.

Plan your studies. For example, Zhang Xiyue, who graduated from Hengshui Middle School and is now studying at Peking University, has a well-organized summer vacation schedule, with clear and clear learning content in each time period, and plenty of time to rest. Parents should work with their children to create a schedule to improve their learning efficiency.

Learn to think for yourself. Rote memorization doesn't move your brain, and hard work is just for show. Parents should cultivate their children's ability to think independently, let them think about the answers to difficult problems, encourage children to ask more questions, stimulate their desire to think, and combine knowledge with thinking.

For parents, it is necessary to do the "three don'ts" and do not ask naggingly. When children are studying, parents frequently "shush the cold and ask for warmth", which can easily lead to children's distraction, friction and procrastination. To protect your child's attention, I really want to ask when my child is resting, such as "What did you gain today?" ”

Don't monitor sexual companionship. Some parents pay too much attention to their children's homework, turning companionship into surveillance, which brings stress and tension to their children and damages their children's self-confidence. Give your child the freedom to learn, and don't interfere unless your child needs it.

Don't negate your child's efforts. Parents should not easily deny their children, but should see their children's contributions, discuss learning problems with their children frankly, give affirmation and encouragement, and help children find better learning methods.

Professor Yang, an education expert, said: "Children's learning and life in school are similar to each other, and it is only during the summer vacation that they really transform, and it is also the watershed that really widens the gap." ”

[The above content is for reference and learning, please carry out under the guidance of professionals, on the road of parenting, we are all novices, how to take better care of children, you can follow me, and discuss those things on the road of parenting with me. 】

View original image 837K

• 

• 

• 

•