"For such a simple question, you can get full marks at the same table, and you can too!"
"Your classmates all go out on the weekends, why don't you go? Is it scared? ”
In order to make their children brave and confident, parents should have a lot of "radical methods" in the process of parenting, right?
The original intention of parents is very simple: it is not to belittle their children, but to stimulate their inner enthusiasm and self-confidence through the way of "provoking".
Is the "radical method" really that easy to use?
The so-called "agitation method" is actually a kind of psychological tactic.
Parents use words or behaviors to stimulate their children's inner potential.
In principle, the "Radical Method" is a very good way to raise children!
As long as parents educate them properly, they can "awaken" their children's inner motivation and make them change dramatically from before.
But the problem is that every child has a different personality and way of doing things.
The seemingly easy "radicalization method" may not be suitable for every child, and it may be self-defeating.
The "radical method" is more suitable for children with tenacious personalities, and they are like the "little strong" who can't be killed, the more frustrated they are, the more courageous they are. The more parents say that they are inferior to others, the more they want to prove themselves and want everyone to know that they are good.
However, when you encounter a sensitive or introverted child, don't use the "agitation method" again. These two kinds of children, they are easy to be cranky, and their parents' overly harsh language or harsh behavior will make them cranky.
Even, at one point, I felt that I was inferior to others. Every time I listen to the words of my parents, I will fall into self-doubt: why can others do the same thing well, but not myself?
It can only be said that no matter how good the education method is, it can only be learned and learned, not copied!
If you want your children to be better, parents should learn to teach them according to their aptitude, and develop a unique education method based on their personality characteristics and handling characteristics.
The potential harm of the "radical method" should be known
1. Hurt children's self-esteem
Parents who rely too much on the "radical method" to educate their children can hurt their self-esteem, self-doubt and strong feelings of frustration.
Originally, it was intended to inspire children's self-confidence, but it turned out to be counterproductive.
No matter how hard you try, you can't meet your parents' expectations and are always ridiculed, so why bother working hard?
2. Increase children's psychological pressure
To be honest, the current learning environment is very volatile, and the pressure on children is already very high! If parents do not use the "agitation method" properly, it will cause more pressure on the child.
Just imagine: how can a child be in a good mood when he lives under great pressure every day?
Anxiety, irritability, depression...... All kinds of psychological problems can arise and have a huge impact on a child's health and life.
3. Destroying the parent-child relationship
In real life, most of the parents who rely on the "radical method" are more strict and demanding, and they have particularly high requirements for their children, eager to let them surpass everyone.
With such parents, children do not feel happy at all, and always feel that they are "machines", and they only need to obey and do what their parents ask.
After a long time, they will have resentment towards their parents, and the parent-child relationship is very cold.
If you use the "Radical Method" correctly, the effect can be doubled
First: set reasonable goals
Wanting children to become dragons and phoenixes among people should be the ultimate goal of all parents. It is understandable that parents expect it, but they do not approve of their unreasonable practices.
In the process of using the "radical method", parents should grasp the proportion, and the goals set for the baby should be reasonable and not too big.
Many times, the larger the goal, the lower the probability of completion; Instead, break down the goal and make it easier to achieve.
Second: focus on emotional needs
What I want to tell parents is: children, they are independent individuals, not obedient "machines"!
It is the responsibility and obligation of parents to set goals for their babies and urge them to complete them!
But at the same time, we should also pay attention to the emotional needs of children, so that they can feel the love and support from their parents in the process of being educated.
On the road to growth, children will definitely encounter difficulties and setbacks, and what parents need to do is to listen more, pay more attention, and be more satisfied. Help your child recognize emotions and get rid of all the bad ones.
And finally: encourage independent thinking
Making decisions for their children and helping them accomplish certain things is a habit for many parents.
But the problem is that these habits of parents will ruin their children.
Do everything for them, so when will they grow up?
On the road of life, the time that parents can spend with their children is limited after all.
It is necessary to teach them to think independently, solve problems independently, and maintain self-confidence even when they are not parents, which is what smart parents are.
Again, there are thousands of ways to raise children, and you must find the most suitable way for your child to make your baby excellent! If you just follow the cat and always want to learn from other people's education methods, it will be difficult for your child to become excellent.