I have been doing extramarital affairs for 15 years and have done 10,000+ successful cases.
It interviewed 1,000 divorced couples and summarized these 10 ways to kill marriage.
Let's hurry up and collect it to find out.
1
"I'm going to divorce/break up with you. I don't want to see people like you in my next life. ”
"Leave, Xu Jiajia, whoever doesn't leave today is the grandson."
.....
I warn everyone that in married life, you should never talk about "divorce" or "breakup" lightly.
Even if it is a momentary angry talk, you must think twice, otherwise it is easy to stand on the horns.
It's like a quiet scar between the two, invisible, but piercing the heart.
2
"You liar, why did I marry you in the first place!"
"That only says two things?"
"Which two questions? What are the two questions you are talking about? ”
"Either you're blind! Either I'm gold, you'll take a fancy to me. ”
"Let you ....."
......
When you have doubts about TA, don't directly accuse them of being a "liar".
Such an approach will only exacerbate the contradictions.
Let's do it another way:
"I'm thinking, maybe there's something you haven't shared with me?"
Start the conversation by asking questions and gradually unveil the truth.
Remember to be gentle and tempting.
3
"He Jiafu, what do you want? Can you calm down. ”
"I'm calm, I'm going to divorce you. Really, I've been thinking about it for months. ”
......
When your partner is emotional, instead of simply saying "calm down", choose to listen and understand.
Try to put it this way:
"I understand that this matter is important to you, maybe I didn't express it clearly, I mean ......"
Doing so makes the other person feel respected, while also giving yourself an opportunity to explain.
4
"I forgot that today is your birthday, tell me which flavor of cake you like, and I'll buy it for you."
"No, you can't remember my birthday anyway."
.....
Don't express dissatisfaction with negative expressions.
If you're in a bad mood, don't just say "it's okay" with a straight face.
Communicate openly and honestly about the problem to find a solution.
Cold violence only makes both sides suffer.
5
"Honey, what do you want to eat today?"
"Whatever."
......
The three words "whatever" seem easy-going, but they are actually extremely lethal.
It will make the other person feel that you don't care about his feelings.
In the emotional world, we need to care for each other, not be indifferent.
6
"If you really love me, you don't care if I remember your birthday. Why are you going online, it's over, don't you just buy the cake?! ”
"Get out of here!"
WeChat blocked.
......
Don't tie the other person down with "if you really love me, you should ......".
Love should not be set in a pattern, we should communicate and get along in a more intimate way, rather than through trials and difficulties.
7
"Look, I told you a long time ago, it's a mule or a horse, you have to pull it out, you look at the clothes you bought on the Internet, they didn't let you do this.... Can it look good when you wear it? Retreat. ”
"How do you speak?"
......
Avoid saying "look" or "didn't I tell you a long time ago".
This statement can make the other person feel devalued.
When things don't go as expected, the other person may already be having a hard time, so don't add to the burden.
In a relationship, you don't have to fight to win or lose, and you don't have to prove that you are a prophet.
8
"Zaan, you think I won't be able to drive this car in the future."
"Hehe, I've heard this all my life."
......
Sarcasm and cynical words only make people's hearts heavy,
This kind of sour language is extremely destructive to feelings.
9
"It's still my ex, white skin, beautiful and long legs, look at you, there's no fun at all!"
"He Jianjun, I'm going to scratch your face."
......
Don't make frequent mentions of your ex as a way to irritate your partner.
If you and your ex are really that compatible, you might still be together.
So, ditch meaningless comparisons and focus on constructive dialogue and problem-solving.
10
"Whatever kind of dad is what kind of son he is"
"Cut! What kind of mother is like a daughter."
"Say it again"
"Say a few more words!"
......
Don't belittle the other person's family.
Even if your partner complains about her family, know how to do it in moderation.
There are some things that only one's own family can criticize, and it may seem extremely rude for outsiders to mention them.
When discussing the other person's family, be polite and start with a problem-solving approach.
If you still have any questions about how to deal with these issues, please feel free to send me a private message and I will be happy to help you.
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