Time began, long since the Big Bang of the Singularity. Starting with the hottest, tightest, and most urgent, it gradually cools, expands, alienates, and even today. My hometown, my parents, it's all here. The far away, the other, is also here. We are made up of elements from the distant past, we have a sense of self, and we are fiery, intense, and urgent. As for what will happen in the future, it can be imagined, it can be different, and it must be accepted. Movies are the art of regret, while storytelling, novels, and cross talk are different, and they can be revised at any time, of course, once the text is determined, it is regrettable, and the same is true of life.
In the world, there have always been tragicomedies, which are always broadcast live. Whether as a reader, an observer, or a person in a story, or a person in the game, it is always in the event or story that happens. Even, you and I can't tell whether we are the protagonist or the supporting role, but the time is fair. There are two theories that seem to be chopping, but both seem to be true or false. One is that without everyone, the earth will rotate the same, history will only develop according to its own logic, and heroes or people just happen to appear in a certain time and space. Second, a butterfly in the Amazon spreads its small wings, and East Asia can also set off typhoons. Seeing people as the spirit of all things, or the dust of plants and trees, is always just a metaphor. However, the hero and the situation always complement each other. The strongest hero and his organization can always determine the upper limit.
Culture is the lines on the cover of the turtle, the purpose of being funny is to deceive, and finally language becomes the highest weapon of blinding, and the highest criticism is to completely stink a person, which cannot be done in the period of word of mouth. The national spirit of all countries comes from this, and the myth is to tamper with the past in the face of the deterrence of nature, and give the ancestors and leaders magic, and the descendants of the gods and goddesses, which is conducive to rule and unity. Fairy tales teach young men to be obedient and have certain fantasies, only adolescence is a little difficult to do, so the ancients married early and put adolescence into marriage. And the first poems were nothing more than the pleasure or groaning of labor, and then the admiration of heaven, earth, rivers and mountains, and ethics were born. The establishment of people, therefore, the reason, the peace, we always have to go through three stages of aesthetics, the so-called understanding of life is the peace, so the joy and sorrow is nature.
Everyone is just a lonely individual, and there are different levels of acceptance of foreign expressions from reluctance to openness, the light we can see has a range, the sound we hear has a range, and the so-called knowledge we perceive also has a range, and this interval is all the life activities of the individual. Any knowledge or background has its background and limitations, and except for a very few axioms and common sense, it is necessary to judge its meaning, metaphor, substance, or the opposite of the literal. The beginning of civilization was to turn public ownership into private ownership and enclose land and grab people. Then, then there was an uprising, a revolution, a reorganization, and finally a move from private to public ownership. The story of the human world always rhymes.
I will never be religious. Every religion has its own position, and the delimitation of the scope is the beginning of self-indulgence, but it is also a kind of writing protection. Religion is never reasonable, there is no logic, it is basically to tame the believer, to punish him is to expel him from the group, and to kill those who resist, physically or mentally.
How can we fully understand and perceive others, but we have to come into contact with outsiders and foreign countries, so communication has become a process of seeking common ground while reserving differences. The premise of everything is that we are human beings, that we live on earth, that we have some common views on time and space, and that we have our own opinions. It's not that I believed too much in communism and dialectics when I was in school, it's just that I know that faith is a consolation for me, not a kind of evasion, but it is true that the combination of materialism and dialectics is powerful enough to explain all my doubts, even aliens, there is no escape from the laws of the universe. There is no difference between the small size of Shiwanggou and the size of the universe, and they all need to be observed in life.
From the initial belief that tomorrow will be better, to the belief that words can reflect all the appearances and fundamentals of the world, to the recognition of the invisible forces of chaos and the stagnation of interest groups, revolution and reform have their own merits and shortcomings, and emotion first or cause first is not the primary issue. For me at the moment, whether to survive under the system, or to continue to travel freely, salvation may only be a subsistence and a sojourn, in the dusty North China, and the South China is clearly also tempting, in short, living is the greatest faith, and words are my tools.
Time is the biggest enemy of life, and the cyclical daily life is just a faint existence; I don't believe in the possibility of giving hints to objective things, and the novel is more like an open-ended wordplay deliberately mixed by the author, where the details and circumstances on the paper inadvertently eliminate the information about real life.
I could never believe that I could reproduce the trivialities of the ants I saw in the northern countryside, whose lives were at stake in my helpless pen, and I was deeply disturbed by their inescapable transformation of the earth day after day, that I was one of them, that I was from them, that I was still with my family, that I lived among them, that every day I could see, hear, and feel their joys and sorrows; Their lives may seem meaningless to some people, but yes, the toiling of male bees is indeed their reality.
My sense of loss is mainly the confusion of not being on the shore at both ends, although I see it, I don't have the right to speak for them; I have never discriminated against the city or the countryside, I think that modern civilization can change the outdated vast countryside, but the key is to change the people themselves, the first is to start with the people in the city, do not think that they are the pride of the sky, in fact, they are just the vested interests of the historical evolution to the present.
Utopian and pan-moralistic inquiry, pretentious idealism, is met with the most severe suspicion and resolute rejection by me, and I prefer to bet on trivial reason, at least every specific person and question should not be forcibly proofread by any high-sounding theory. My calmness suppressed my thoughts, and I had forgotten some details of the past, but there were still some plausible feelings. The greatest influence on me by Russia writers was Bulgakov, whose "The Master and Margarita", which I read in 1996. It profoundly reveals the future of authoritarian rule, especially under the scrutiny of religion and violence, which may become inevitable, then distorted by the gaze and whispers of others, and after many years, it will not be able to find its original meaning.
Ge Fei's "The Banner of Desire", in which complex imagery is written, suggesting and explicitly pointing out that the catharsis of repression will be accompanied by an infinitely extended hesitation, is a successful literary proof that the survival of high-level Chinese intellectuals is not a space for rational thinking. The boildown of fate is also a method, just like Wang Anyi's long "Documentary and Fiction" and Ma Yuan's "Fiction", the world's clever fiction is also another way to create the world. We Chinese, the reason why we become Chinese, the important thing is culture, culture China has hundreds of schools, four books, five classics, historical records, Hanshu, and Qu Yuan, Tao Yuanming, Li Baidufu, Su Shi, Li Qingzhao, Xin abandonment, four famous works, Liao Zhai Zhiyi and Lu Xun, the subset of scripture and history, for ordinary people, it is likely that the review of the drama, crosstalk, sketches, film and television dramas have more influence, and those fictional feelings constitute the cultural China of most ordinary people.
Su Tong and Pan Jun respectively adapted the Chu and Han stories into dramas and spiritual narrative poems with considerable success, repeatedly proving that the Chu and Han stories are the conspiracy of the entire nation to recover the hidden survival memory, and all kinds of people can find their own replacement (bring in) in the process of growing up from the childhood to the youth of this highly inclusive nation (common memory, but the emphasis must be different). I very much hope to be able to witness the wonderful and incisive performance of this live drama in the future, in my exclamation.
Or traditional writing or sharp formal experiments, but always have a unique emotional expression, uncompromising stance, care for marginal characters, and create a solid down-to-earth heroic image with seven emotions and six desires, is a group of fighters who abandon vulgar cynical thoughts, hidden behind pessimism is the passionate emotional nostalgia, which used to be my requirement for myself, but daily life is the most common occurrence in this universe. I'm a pessimistic person, and that's basically my literary concept. I don't dare to reject the invasion of romanticism, nor the participation of ideology, we live in ideology all the time, but I still haven't found my own style and rhythm.
Heidegger once wrote in Being and Time: "A statement is a presentation that is conveyed and prescribed", which I understand as the creator's "need to express", and cinema used to be a special "statement" (which is more important in the ideology of communism) and should be pursued more. In the Red May of 1968, structuralism could not be taken to the streets, but film flyers were to be taken to the streets.
Wang Anyi's "Novel Syllabus Course" selected chapters - "The World of John Christopher", she interprets Roman·· Roland's original work and Fu Lei's translation with the growth of human beings full of natural forces, his life is to seek, to find the essence of life, and his expression is music and meditation, as well as the inevitable violent means of debating and dealing with emergencies, in this long time, Roman · Rolland principled arrangement for our protagonist to have many long or short friends and confidants, The trivial and boring Paris and its people, in a trance to miss Christopher's experience, life in this regard shows its primitive and true state, the vulgar mass chasing the trend, the pretending elegance of the salon is not as simple as the degradation of civilization, the surging shock wave has passed, and the legacy left for us is often filtered purification, and I should have a choice. It is normal for human nature to have weaknesses, and there is no perfect person, not even a perfect fly. Seeing through the truth of life and continuing is the true temperament.
In the world, there have always been tragicomedies, which are always broadcast live. Time has begun, the montage is always there, whether it is real or fictional, the stories we see, the past we think, the reality we conceive, and the uncertain future, and looking back at the past can still modify history, or reconstruct construction, who can tell whether it is active or passive? We can't fully grasp the information of the past. These stories, at least part of them, always need to be written. The story may end, but time will forever.
I will leave my hometown and go far away, to Guangzhou and Beijing. I will say goodbye to my school, ginkgo trees and vegetable garden, I will say goodbye to my hometown where I have lived for twenty-five years, and goodbye to my Xiagou Reservoir, stone house and Southwest Ridge. Goodbye to my cornfields, turnip pits, and geese that stand in my way. Goodbye to my wildfires, canals, and winds in the woods. I know that whenever I return, you will be there waiting for me, and I will write you into words, perhaps for eternity. I know that time has already begun, and that there may be a life I want to live in the distance, and there may be a literal journey that I want to write and cash. I know that no matter what I do outside, my father and grandmother will always have my back, and this is why I can dream and have some peace of mind before I leave.
Most of the above texts were written in the last month before he resigned and left his hometown in 2003, with a firm or hesitant attitude towards words and time. It was the wettest month of the autumn harvest in years, and my father and I worked in the clay soil for a month before we harvested the peanuts home. On August 3, 2024, part of it was deleted, and the text must be with me for the rest of my life, and daydreams are often good stories.