Take off your uniform and still be a soldier
Author / Defense Warrior
Once a soldier, a lifelong warrior. Although the military uniform is taken off, the military spirit is forever. On this August Day, as a veteran, I would like to extend my highest respect and holiday wishes to all my comrades-in-arms who are serving and have served!
It has been 42 years since I was a soldier and 38 years since I left the army, and now whenever the first rays of the morning sun penetrate the curtains, I always unconsciously straighten my back, as if I can still hear the echo of the military horn in the distance. Even though the military uniform has been taken off for many years, the military spirit is like an unquenchable fire, burning in my chest. Today, what I want to share with you is not only a memory of a military career, but also a story about loyalty, dedication and the unfading military spirit.
In the course of my nearly 60 years of life, I have worked in three professions: soldier, journalist, and civil servant, but no matter what profession I am engaged in, in which position, I have always positioned myself as a soldier.
The reason why I think of myself as a soldier is because I love the title "soldier", and the soldier carries a lot of weight in my heart, and it is as important as my life.
I was born into a military family and grew up in the army. Those children who grew up in the barracks not only have the demeanor and temperament of warriors, but also have lofty ideals and aspirations to become soldiers. In 1969, when the troops were reorganized, my father's troops were ordered to be transferred to a border battalion called Pengmushan, and we also moved to that place with the troops, which was not accessible by road at that time, and the children under the age of 12 in our family team were all carried up the mountain on the backs of soldiers. From the beginning of breakfast, the soldiers carried us over one mountain after another, and arrived at our destination when the sun went down, and when we slid off the backs of the soldiers, the snowflake-like sweat stains on their spines were deeply engraved in my mind.
At that time, I had a hazy understanding of soldiers, and the dictionary of soldiers in my mind began to record the explanation of soldiers: bear hardships and stand hard work, and exchange their own suffering for the sweetness of others. "I want to be such a person too" From then on, the dream of becoming a soldier began to germinate. At the age of 17, the weather vane of fate suddenly changed, and the dream of college was inadvertently shattered. I stood at a crossroads in my life, confused and helpless. Father, a taciturn but hidden veteran, handed me a pair of red collar badges and red stars that he had just taken off, and the residual heat of his body temperature on them. His words were simple but powerful: "If you can't get into college, you can wear a red star on your head and hang the red flag of the revolution on both sides." At that moment, I seemed to see the shadow of his youth, and an inexplicable pride surged in my heart.
(Photo: Liu Sigong)
On the first day I put on the military uniform, my father said to me: "Work hard in the army, don't embarrass Lao Tzu." His words revealed harshness, but more than that, there was trust and expectation in me. On the day I left home, my mother said to me, "When you leave your parents, you have to learn to take care of yourself." There was reluctance in her eyes, but she was strong. Their expectations, like two warm streams, converge into a powerful force in my heart.
When I actually became a soldier, I realized that the real life of a soldier is different from the life of a soldier seen in movies and TV series. Life in the barracks was far harsher than I had imagined. Under the scorching sun, we were training intensively, sweat soaked through our uniforms, and our skin was tanned. In the cold wind, we stood guard, our bodies shivering from the cold, but there was an unyielding flame burning in our hearts. Sleeping in the open air day and night. I learned to survive in rudimentary conditions, I learned to find strength in exhaustion. In the dead of night, when the stars are shining, I will lie on the hard bed, thinking about my life and my future.
But the life in the army has taught me a lot.
In the barracks, I met comrades-in-arms from all over the world, and we experienced the hardships of training together, sharing each other's stories and dreams. In the group activities, we support each other and make progress together, and this deep friendship is the most valuable harvest of my time in the barracks.
I learned to live under strict discipline and to find my place in the collective. Every gathering, every exercise, is a test for me, but also a training for me. I have come to understand that life is not just a personal struggle, but also a process of growing together with others. I learned not to back down in the face of difficulties, and I learned to look for opportunities in the midst of challenges. Whenever I encounter a seemingly insurmountable problem, I think of my father's advice and my mother's expectations, which are like a beacon that illuminates my path. I understood that in the big family of the barracks, everyone is an indispensable part. Together, we have the responsibility to defend our country and face the challenges of life together. Here, I not only learned how to become a qualified soldier, but also learned how to be a responsible and responsible person.
Being a soldier taught me to be consistent. The first rays of the morning sun shone through the windows in the barracks dormitory. I stood in front of the bed, facing the army-green quilt, and my heart was full of challenges. Following the class leader's instructions, I practiced the technique of folding the quilt over and over again until it became as square as a tofu block. This is not only a daily housekeeping, but also a kind of spiritual sharpening, which makes me pursue perfection in every detail of my life. We call it "six lines, six fixes". This is not only a requirement for the placement of items, but also an attitude towards life. Whenever I neatly arrange daily necessities such as mouth jars and towels into a line, I seem to feel a kind of beauty of order, which makes me understand that every little thing in life is worth treating with our hearts. Folding quilts and placing daily necessities are the most basic housework of the army, but these jobs have taught me to be square and upright, and not to be a little hypocritical. I have learned to be upright in every corner of my life and to stand up for my principles and beliefs, whether in the face of difficulties or temptations.
Being a soldier has cultivated a sense of community. In the barracks, every group activity was a test for me. Standing in a row or in a row, following the squad leader's command, our footsteps were uniform, and the slogans shook the earth. It made me deeply appreciate the power of the community and the importance of unity. Repeating these actions day after day was boring, but it made me understand what it means to be in step and what it means to be forbidden. In this constant repetition, I learned patience and perseverance, learned to find rhythm in the monotony, and found the extraordinary in the ordinary.
Being a soldier has tempered my spirit of hardship and hard work. Whether I'm standing guard in the scorching sun or crawling on the training ground, I can feel my will being tempered. These experiences have made me more resilient and brave to face life's challenges. Being a soldier has given me an optimistic and confident attitude towards life. Whenever before and after meals, our singing echoes in the barracks, it is not only a ritual, but also a kind of spiritual uplift. In the song, I felt the unity and strength of my comrades-in-arms, which made me more confident and optimistic to face everything in life. At the weekly class meeting, I will boldly and sincerely review my own shortcomings and find out my own shortcomings. This taught me to self-reflect and learn to grow through criticism and self-criticism. I began to look at myself more objectively and improve my shortcomings more positively. I temper myself with hard work, and I enrich myself with knowledge. In the barracks, I not only exercised my body, but also enriched my mind. I use my spare time to read books, learn new things, and become more well-rounded. I use introspection to improve myself, and I use failure to transform myself. Every failure was a stepping stone for me to grow. I learned to learn from my failures, learn from my mistakes, and make myself stronger.
My company commander, a veteran who enlisted in the army in 1968, has seen extraordinary vicissitudes in the course of time. His story is like a thick book, and every page records the bits and pieces of military life. Because of the limitation of his cultural level, he passed by the promotion several times, but he never complained and always stuck to his post silently. On the way to a duty mission, he said to me: "Clerk, I am the oldest company-level cadre in the whole regiment, and I will soon change jobs. There was a hint of helplessness in his words, but more of a deep attachment to his military career. He told me that the army now needs more young and promising talents with a high level of education, and he is ready to return to his hometown to reunite with his family and live a peaceful life. "Haven't you done it for nothing in the past few years?" I couldn't help but ask. The company commander smiled slightly and replied, "Han Doll, the country has also raised us for more than ten years, how can we say that we have done it for nothing?" Where we are, we are also soldiers of the country. His words were simple and unpretentious, but they touched my heart deeply. In him, I saw the loyalty and dedication of a soldier, no matter what position he was in, no matter what kind of situation he faced, he always maintained his loyalty to the country and adherence to his duties.
Later, I had the privilege of going to the front line to participate in battlefield interviews, which gave me a deeper understanding and feeling of soldiers. There, I witnessed the brutality of war and felt the bravery and sacrifice of the soldiers. Due to the blockade by enemy artillery, we were cut off for more than a week, and life became extremely difficult. But even in such an environment, the comrades-in-arms still maintained high morale and stuck to their posts. One morning, when the artillery fire stopped in the fog, Xiao Lei, a soldier from the cooking squad, carried a bucket to fetch water. His figure loomed in the fog, looking particularly lonely and determined. However, just as he walked out of the tunnel, a dense cannon burst suddenly sounded, and Xiao Lei never returned. By the time we found him in the woods, he had already blown off an arm and was lying there quietly, leaving us forever. At that moment, my understanding of soldiers added the concepts of bravery and sacrifice. Xiao Lei's sacrifice made me deeply realize that as a soldier, we must not only have the courage to face difficulties, but also have the spirit of sacrificing ourselves for the interests of the country and the people. His heroic deeds will forever inspire us to understand that true bravery is not about not fearing death, but about being able to stand firm in one's faith and responsibility in the face of death.
In those military years, I dedicated my youth to my dear company. My mind is as clear as a mountain spring, pure as a bud. I work hard and work steadfastly, never caring about personal gains and losses. All I understand is the true meaning of loyalty and dedication. Although the days of actual soldiering were short, it left an eternal mark on my heart. In the dead of night, I close my eyes and feel as if I have returned to the green barracks full of vigor and vitality. The sound of the bugle echoed in my ears, the loudest melody of my youth. Even though I took off my military uniform, I still maintained the spirit, temperament, ideals and spirit of a soldier. Over the years, no matter where I am, I have regarded myself as a soldier, a soldier who will never retire.
To be honest, my "official luck" is good. When I was in my twenties, I became the deputy director of a county bureau, and a year later I was in charge of a department. In the eyes of others, I may be a young man with a bright future. However, my heart was full of confusion and fear. Because when I was in the army, I wrote a diary that I wanted to "become a general", which was misunderstood as an impure motive for joining the army. This made me deeply fear and hate the word "official". As a young man, I hadn't learned to maneuver in a crisis-ridden officialdom. It didn't take long for me to resign from my official position very naively and choose to become an ordinary journalist. I want to be a relatively detached uncrowned king, recording the times with a pen and capturing the truth with a lens.
In August 1993, I became a reporter for the Menghai reporter station of Xishuangbanna Daily. On the first day of registration, I received the task of going to the hailstorm-stricken area of Damanlu in Mengsong to cover the disaster relief situation. At that time, it was the rainy season, and I walked more than 50 kilometers through muddy mountain roads with my comrades from the disaster relief team to the disaster site. I have witnessed with my own eyes the suffering brought by the hailstorm to the poor people in the mountainous areas, and I have also felt their deep gratitude to the Party and the government for their timely care. At that moment, I tearfully wrote a close-up "Mountain Song Dedicated to the Party".
Four years of professional journalist life have made me deeply appreciate the hard and difficult work of journalists. During the "strike hard" campaign in 1996 and the "anti-narcotics" struggle in 1997, I accompanied the public security officers to the scene to arrest the murderers on many occasions. Once, I was almost attacked by drug traffickers. It is precisely because of these arduous and dangerous work experiences that I have written one report after another reflecting the struggles against "striking hard" and "anti-narcotics," and have taken pictures of the arrest of criminals on the spot. I was honored as an "Advanced Individual in Public Security Propaganda" by the state and county public security bureaus, and my comrades-in-arms in the public security system gave me the nickname of "plainclothes policeman."
As a journalist, I still regard my studies as a pleasant rest as if I were in the army. As a full-time journalist, I've been exposed to a wider range of industries than before. In order to become a "well-informed person" in those unfamiliar industries as soon as possible, I took back a bunch of materials and books, and turned obscure technical terms into "Mandarin" that readers could understand. During my four years at the newspaper, I lived almost a "quasi-single" life. During the day, I worked together with the common people in the fields, and at night I sat by the fire and listened to the ethnic minority brothers singing mountain songs and telling stories. Almost all of the 102 administrative villages in Menghai County have my footprints. I feel the pulse of this land with my heart, record the stories here with my pen, and capture the scenery here with my camera.
Over the years, whether in the barracks or in the post of a journalist, I have always maintained my true character as a soldier. I know very well that no matter where I am, no matter what profession I am engaged in, my loyalty to the country, my love for the people, and my pursuit of truth are my eternal beliefs and motivations.
That hard work is not only a piece of work, but also a precious treasure of my life. In the dead of night, I flipped through the words that I had poured my heart into, and a warm current surged in my heart. "Reshaping the Soul of the Police", "The Heroic Wind of the Border Police", "Spring in the Winter Field" ...... Behind these titles is my deep love for this land and deep respect for the people. It is my honor as a journalist that my writing is fortunate to be seen by more people and recognized by the central and provincial newspapers. Like a warrior, I take the masses as teachers and the wise as teachers. During my days as a journalist at the grassroots level, I traveled all over the landscape, met all kinds of people, and listened to all kinds of stories. I was attracted by the profound heritage of the minority culture in the border areas, and I was moved by the "old frontier people" who were unknown and selfless. They taught me how to face life with a positive attitude and how to deal with others with tolerance and humility.
As a reporter-in-residence, I consciously use discipline to be strict with myself. I know very well that as a reporter of the Party newspaper, I shoulder the heavy responsibility of conveying the voice of the times and promoting heroic figures. I conducted in-depth interviews and dug up those touching stories, such as long-form newsletters such as "Warriors Turning into Brilliant Venus", so that more people could understand the heroes who bravely sacrificed their lives for the country and the people. I also focused on promoting "Menghai 110" and "Jinghong 110", and these reports received enthusiastic responses from readers. I know that as a journalist, I have a lot of power in my pen, and every one of my reports carries a responsibility and a mission. I strive to be objective, impartial, and truthful, so that every story can stand the test of time. As a correspondent-in-residence, I also have an important task to develop and train correspondents. On many occasions, I went to townships, towns, organs, and military units to give lectures to correspondents, and took them to interview, write, and distribute articles. With my help and guidance, more than 10 news enthusiasts have grown into core correspondents of news units. I am extremely pleased and proud to see their growth and progress.
During my work as a journalist, I learned not only to "compose", but also to "be a person". I call these principles of life my own "personality". The highest level of this kind of "personality science" lies not in speaking and writing well, but in doing it well, and doing it well in a lifetime. I have always maintained a sincere attitude towards others, a rigorous attitude in doing things, and strive to make my "personality" cultivation gradually better. During my time as a journalist, the organization talked to me many times and asked me to come out to work. I know that this is the trust and expectation that the organization has placed in me. Although I was a little apprehensive, I bravely accepted the challenge. I told myself that no matter what position I was in, I would maintain my true character as a soldier and be a good officer who served the people. Later, despite the repeated changes in my role, I still considered myself a soldier. I have always believed that a soldier must do things, and he must do things in a down-to-earth manner. I like people to call me "veteran" and I don't like what people call me "long". Because in my heart, I will always be a soldier, a soldier who serves the people.
Bing, let me be close to the people, let me relax; Bing, let me stay away from the boring unspoken rules of officialdom and do my job well in a down-to-earth manner. The soldiers urged me not to relax my studies for a moment, so that I could increase my knowledge, get close to the masses, and make achievements in my work. This virtuous cycle makes me feel endlessly happy; A pawn, in fact, is like an ordinary chess piece, which does not attract much attention. This allows me to walk more openly among the mountains and rivers in the border areas, understand the social conditions and people's conditions, do practical things, and make the people happy.
Because I think of myself as a soldier, I don't go along with those who are busy socializing, and I don't have a drill to flatter me. Although this has cost me some "opportunities", I have gained more respect and appreciation; Soldiers have the freedom of soldiers, soldiers have soldiers freely, and soldiers have sunshine and flowers in their lives. I often remember the saying, "Bring yourself down, you're not so great." "As a soldier, I take everyone to do work, low-key and humble, not putting on a show, not playing official. I mingled with all my colleagues in the unit, and they felt natural and cordial, and they all treated me as a close elder. Soldiers, too, can be respected and appreciated.
The positioning of Bing has not only made my business work not wasted, but also in a position where I will never fall behind in the same industry. As a soldier, I walked among the mountains and rivers in the border areas, learned a lot about the social conditions and people's feelings, and also did a lot of things that made the people happy. Because I think of myself as a soldier, my life is full of sunshine and flowers.
As the years go by, although the military uniform has been taken off, the military spirit, the loyalty to the country and the love for the people will always be engraved in my heart.
In the dead of night, looking up at the starry sky, I seem to be able to hear the loud trumpet and feel the unyielding strength. Military life is the pride of my life and my eternal wealth. Let us remember those soldiers who sacrificed their youth and blood for the country and the people, and their spirit will inspire each and every one of us, no matter where we are, no matter what clothes we wear, to live and fight according to the standard of a soldier.
Because, the real soldier does not lie in the military uniform on the body, but in the military soul in the heart.
Together, in the name of soldiers, let's move on.
About author:National defense soldier (real name Duan Jinhua), male, Hani nationality, member of Yunnan Reportage Society. Born in Jiangcheng County, Yunnan Province in the mid-60s, he lived in the barracks of the Yunnan Border Defense Force since he was a child, served as a soldier in the Yunnan Armed Police Force in the 80s, and worked in the propaganda and cultural department of Xishuangbanna for a long time after retiring from the army. The chairman of the State Federation of Social Sciences (President of the State Academy of Social Sciences) occasionally touched literary writing in his spare time, and published prose essays and poems in the "People's Liberation Army Daily", "China National Daily" and "Yunnan Daily", mostly on the theme of frontier life, and the essay "I am a soldier" was selected into the "Chinese Minority Literature Series" (Hani volume).