In the process of raising children, do you often encounter such a problem: no matter how much you push, your children are always slow, as if they are not listening to your words at all? In fact, it is a common phenomenon that children are getting slower and slower, at this time, we need to learn some routines in a different way to stimulate children's self-motivation and let them take the initiative.
Routine 1: Give children the right to choose
Children want to be in control of their own lives, and when we give them a choice, they are more motivated to act. For example, when we get up in the morning and get dressed, we can say, "Baby, do you want to wear the blue t-shirt or the red one today?" Instead of directly ordering them: "Hurry up and put on that blue T-shirt!" "When children are able to make their own choices, they feel like they are doing things for themselves and not following the dictates of others.
For example, when writing homework, we can ask our children, "Do you want to write your Chinese homework or math homework first?" Asking questions like this will make children feel that they have some control over their learning and will be more willing to take the initiative to complete their homework.
Routine 2: Make clear and unambiguous rules
A child's world needs a certain order and rules, and clear rules can let them know what they can and can't do. For example, you have to complete your homework by 8:30 p.m. every night before you can watch TV or play games. Once the rules are formulated, they must be strictly enforced and cannot be changed at will.
At the same time, when making rules, involve children and listen to their opinions and ideas. This way they will be more willing to follow the rules, because this is what they themselves have been involved in. For example, the family's schedule can be discussed with the children to determine the time for everyone to get up, sleep, study, and play, so that the children feel that they are a member of the family and have the right and responsibility to participate in the formulation of family rules.
Routine 3: Timely affirmation and encouragement
Every bit of progress that a child deserves to be affirmed and encouraged, which will make them feel that their efforts are seen and that they will be more motivated to keep going. When your child finishes their homework on time, don't just say "well done", but be specific: "Baby, you wrote your homework carefully today, and your words are beautiful, and Mommy is proud of you!" ”
Encouragement should also focus on details and process, not just results. For example, when a child is trying to do something new, even if it is not good enough, we can say: "Baby, it's great if you dare to try, and Mommy believes that you will do better next time!" This kind of encouragement will give children more confidence to face challenges and stimulate their inner motivation.
Routine 4: Lead by example
Children learn more through observation and imitation, and as parents, we need to lead by example and be a good role model for them. If we want our children to love to read, then we should always pick up books and read; If we want our children to be punctual, we need to do things on time first.
For example, if we plan to go to the park on the weekend and say that we will leave at 9 a.m., then we should prepare ourselves in advance, instead of urging the children and grinding at the same time. When children see our positive actions, they are also infected and gradually develop good habits.
Routine 5: Stimulate children's interest
Interest is the best teacher, when children are interested in something, they will naturally engage in it and do not need our urging. Therefore, we should be good at discovering children's interests and giving support and guidance.
For example, if a child likes to draw, we can provide them with a variety of drawing tools and materials, take them to an art exhibition, or enroll them in a painting interest class. When children make progress and achievements in their areas of interest, their self-motivation grows.
In short, in order to get children out of the predicament of urging more and more slowly, and stimulate their self-motivation, we need to start from many aspects, give children the right to choose, formulate clear rules, affirm and encourage in time, and set an example to stimulate children's interest. I believe that through these routines, your child will become more proactive and energetic!
Every child is unique, and these methods may need to be adapted and applied according to the child's personality and situation. Let's have more patience and wisdom to accompany our children to grow up together and witness them bloom with their own light!