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Home is supposed to be a warm harbor, a home for the soul, and a habitat for the tired body. However, when such a person appears in the family, the original warmth and tranquility will gradually be eroded, and happiness will quietly slip away unconsciously.
This kind of person often has the following commonalities, you can see if there is such a person in your family.
1. Excessive desire for control
This kind of person is overly controlling and always wants to control everything in the family. From the daily diet and daily life to the life choices of family members, they must be made according to their wishes. The child's interests are ignored and can only follow the path they have planned; Your partner's job change needs to be approved by him/her, otherwise it's a family affair. In their eyes, their own ideas are always correct, and other people's opinions are just ears. This excessive control makes the other members of the family feel suffocated, as if they are living in an invisible cage, deprived of their right to freedom and autonomy.
2. I don't listen to other people's opinions at all
They are completely emotional when communicating, believing that they are always right. The slightest disagreement will lead to a furious outburst, and the house will be filled with the smell of gunpowder in an instant. Quarrels have become commonplace, and peaceful communication has become out of reach. They never want to calm down and listen to others, they only care about venting their emotions. Even a small disagreement can lead to a fierce conflict. In their world, they are the embodiment of truth, and there is no room for questioning or refutation. This unreasonable attitude makes the relationship between family members strained and fragile.
3. The new wound has not healed, and the old scar has been added
There are such people, who especially like to dig over old accounts. The mistakes of the past have been brought up again and again, and have become a weapon to attack others. Those past events that have long been buried by time have come alive again in their mouths and have become the fuse of new contradictions. Every quarrel is a re-revelation of the pain of the past, and the hearts of family members are tormented. Those misunderstandings and contradictions in the past have not only not faded with the passage of time, but have become more and more heavy and difficult to let go of under their constant stirring.
4. Two faces at home and outside the home
What is even more unacceptable is that this kind of person greets each other with a smile in front of outsiders, but faces each other with a stinky face in front of his family. Outside, they always show an amiable side and have won praise from many outsiders. But as soon as I got home, I seemed to be a different person, with indifference and impatience on my face. The family's concern is seen as verbose, and the family's needs are treated as vexatious. They leave their best attitudes to outsiders, but their worst tempers to those closest to them. Over time, the warmth and love in the family gradually dissipate, replaced by endless indifference and estrangement.
5. Harm to the family
Children who grow up in such a family environment often lack self-confidence and security. They lose themselves under excessive control and become sensitive and vulnerable in endless bickering. Children may develop fears and avoidances about their families, affecting their physical and mental health and future relationships. And the partner will also feel tired and hopeless in the long-term depression, and the former love will be exhausted, leaving only helplessness and disappointment in marriage.
The happiness of a family does not depend on material abundance, but on mutual understanding, respect and love between family members. When control, emotion, turning over old accounts, and inconsistent behaviors pervade the family, no amount of wealth can make up for the trauma of the soul, and no amount of wealth can contain broken family ties.
Imagine the following, if there is such a person in the family, how can you be happy?
Author: Lao Pang
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