There are two girls like this:
One of them is enthusiastic and flamboyant, and the other is gentle and introverted; One is ambitious, the other is at ease with what happens; One seems to be self-conscious but insists on responsibility, and the other seems to be weak but strong in heart.
They became rivals because of a man, but they helped each other in the midst of the fire and formed a deep friendship.
They are Scarlett and Melanie in "Gone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)", a pair of women with very different personalities, but equally strong hearts.
From them, we will find that a really powerful woman can maintain the "three don'ts" when she is at a low point, which is really smart and far-sighted.
No internal friction: manage your emotions
In "Gone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)", Scarlett is a proper hostess.
From a pampered, innocent and arrogant girl, to a dominant, wealthy businesswoman, she has survived the smoke of war, endured the sorrow of her relatives, and suffered the humiliation of thousands of husbands.
Being able to come out of a lot of suffering is closely related to one of Scarlett's habits.
Whenever she is disturbed by negative emotions, Scarlett always says to herself, "I don't want to think about it now, I have too many things to do." ”
That's right, Scarlett never lets herself indulge in negative emotions, does not have internal friction, but focuses on the things in front of her.
As the war rages on, both Scarlett and Melanie are trapped in Atlanta.
They went through a lot of hardships to return to Scarlett's home, Tara Manor.
However, Scarlett painfully discovers that Tara's Manor has been ransacked, and her beloved and dependent mother has died.
Scarlett's two younger sisters are all seriously ill and bedridden, and her father has gone insane under the blow.
The black slaves in the family have escaped, there is no food, no money, and the family is waiting for Scarlett's support and command.
Scarlett returned home after a lot of hard work, but instead of getting the shelter and warmth she wanted, she had to carry the family's livelihood on her shoulders.
As she sat in her mother's usual room, looking at everything familiar around her, and thinking that she would never see her mother again, Scarlett was so sad that she almost died.
However, she then reminded herself: "I can't think about my mother now, I still have a lot to do." ”
Then, Scarlett turned her mind to the current situation at Tara Manor.
She searched for food and carefully distributed what little she had left to make it last longer.
When the weather was right, she took her family to the farmland and planted cotton.
The family gradually settled down, the younger sisters recovered, the father's condition stabilized, enough food and cotton were stored in the warehouse, and life was hopeful again.
Scarlett cried for her mother in front of her nanny.
Later, Scarlett was involved in the rebuilding of Tara Manor.
In Scarlett's life, she has experienced too many twists and turns.
She can also be irritable and anxious, but she never gets bogged down in negative emotions and consumes herself.
When something happens, she will collect her emotions in the shortest possible time and do what is in front of her.
Internal friction is the most useless kind of waste.
Consuming a lot of energy on things that don't help, destroying emotions and lowering efficiency.
Only by freeing yourself from bad emotions can you concentrate and do everything in front of you.
The accumulation of enrichment over time is a better self. At that time, the negative emotions naturally dissolve.
Don't be anxious: Face it together
If Scarlett is as enthusiastic as fire, then Melanie, another important character in the book, is as gentle and tolerant as water.
In the book, Melanie doesn't seem to have a high presence, but she always plays a role in critical moments.
After escaping Atlanta, Melanie lives with Scarlett at Tara Manor.
One afternoon, the family went out to work, and only Scarlett and Melanie were at home.
Suddenly, a lone soldier broke into Tara Manor and greedily targeted the few food items in the manor.
In order to protect the food, Scarlett shoots the soldier.
A woman injured someone with a gun, which was deviant in the social atmosphere at the time.
After the initial impulse, Scarlett herself was in a state of panic and didn't know how to explain it to her family.
Melanie, who heard the voice rushing out of the house, witnessed what Scarlett had done.
Not only did she not be frightened, she did not accuse, but expressed her understanding to Scarlett: "If it were me, I would do the same." ”
Next, Melanie helped Scarlett bury the body together, clean up the traces, and perfunctory the family.
Because of Melanie's understanding, Scarlett's mind is much calmer, and she is more comfortable with handling this matter.
Together, they collected some supplies from the deceased, which was a great relief for the Tara Manor at that time.
In later days, whenever Scarlett was criticized for being a maverick, Melanie would always stand by her side to express her understanding and support.
Melanie's support is a great psychological boost for Scarlett.
Not only to Scarlett, but also to everyone around her, Melanie can always think from the other party's point of view and show a strong ability to empathize.
Because of her empathy, she took care of the wounded soldiers, she understood Barrett, who was scolded as a "traitor", and she even expressed sympathy for the prostitute's plight.
Melanie's empathy has also earned her the respect of everyone.
In the novel, Melanie, although not as radiant as Scarlett, is considered a paragon of kindness.
If Scarlett's strength is to achieve herself, then Melanie's strength is to soothe people's hearts.
The ability to empathize with others is able to better empathize with the feelings of others.
People with strong empathy skills are exceptionally tolerant and considerate because they are empathetic.
It is also because I have experienced too many other people's joys, sorrows, and sorrows, which makes my heart stronger.
No jealousy: open-mindedness
In the novel "Gone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)", the friendship between Scarlett and Melanie is more moving than the love line in the book.
Scarlett and Melanie, who should be two people who have nothing to do with each other, are linked because of a man.
Scarlett is in love with Ashley, and Melanie is Ashley's wife.
So these two girls were originally rivals.
Scarlett was jealous of Melanie at first, believing that she was not good-looking, had a cowardly personality, and was not worthy of being Ashley's wife.
When Melanie married Ashley, Scarlett was also angry and married Melanie's younger brother, Charles.
With the outbreak of war, Charles died of illness in the army, and Ashley was also on the battlefield, not knowing whether he would live or die.
The two women had to rely on each other in the smoke of gunpowder.
Melanie gave birth, and when her life hung by a thread, Scarlett traveled half the city to find a doctor for her.
When Scarlett's Tara Manor was sacked by the army and she was helpless, Melanie stood firmly by her side and was her strongest support.
In this mutual support, the hostility generated by jealousy gradually dissipates and is replaced by mutual appreciation.
After the war, Ashley returned to Tara Manor, but the pessimism in his bones kept him escaping from reality and not wanting to make progress.
Melanie had to work hard to support her family.
After a long period of work, she was already weak and seriously ill, and there was no cure.
Before dying, Melanie confided in Scarlett, telling her that she had known that Scarlett was in love with Ashley.
Melanie admits that she was also jealous of Scarlett's flamboyance, suffering from her feelings for her husband.
But in the process of getting along, she became more and more appreciative of Scarlett's independence and frankness, and gradually regarded her as the person she trusted the most.
In the last moments of her life, she entrusts Ashley's future to Scarlett.
Scarlett always thought that it was for Ashley that she had a close relationship with Melanie. It was only at this moment that she sadly discovered that it had always been Melanie herself who attracted her.
For a long time, Scarlett's love for Ashley has long since been annihilated, and all that remains is a deep friendship with Melanie.
It is conceivable that if Scarlett and Melanie had always held on to their inner jealousy, fought each other, and restrained each other, they might have had a hard time surviving the war, let alone achieving what they later achieved.
It is precisely because of the open-mindedness and the abandonment of jealousy that there can be a pair of completely different and equally moving sisters in troubled times.
Women who are not blinded by jealousy are often open-minded, have a long-term vision, and have the mind and courage to achieve great things.
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Savor "Gone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)" to see Scarlett and Melanie, from the rich lady to the down-and-out beauty in the war, to the independent woman in the reconstruction.
It's like accompanying them on a bumpy journey of growth, and also understanding in their growth:
Without internal friction, we can move forward lightly and face reality;
Only by understanding empathy can we put ourselves in the shoes of others;
If you are not jealous, you can be open-minded and support each other.
"Good books are not tired of reading a hundred times", this book "Gone with the Wind (Gone with the Wind)" contains the principles of being a person and involving the world, which is worth thinking about again and again by you and me.
Author | Poetry · Blue Feather, teacher, new media creator, rational work, emotional worldly woman.