We know that when many people are in love, they especially like to use tricks that they want to indulge in, and they can't try it out. This strategy can be just as useful for recovery.
The main trick lies in the early stage of the breakup: apologize, show weakness, show goodwill, "post-indulgence" in the middle of the breakup, give up, stimulate the other party's loss aversion, and "want to catch and indulge" in the later stage of the breakup: change the passive to the active, and change the low position to the high position.
Why do you say this trick can help you get your ex back?
Because this methodology is subordinated to the loss aversion in human nature.
For example, if you pick up $100 on the side of the road today, your happiness will last for three days. But if you accidentally lose $100, you may be depressed for a week.
Because human beings inherently hate to lose. The pain of loss is far stronger than the joy of gain.
"Loss" will gild people, and "things" that they don't think are good, as long as they lose them, people feel pain and pity.
How to use loss aversion to get back your ex?
01
Step 1: Capture first
Step 1: Capture first, express your reluctance to the other party, but never mention the intention of redemption.
On the one hand, it is easy for the ex to feel pressured to bring about the need for recovery.
After all, there is never a one-sided recovery, and your overemphasis on the sense of need is actually a disguised attempt to force him to express his position as soon as possible.
This will make your ex feel that you are violating his sense of proportion and boundaries, and if you are not careful, you may be deleted and blocked.
On the other hand, once you say that you are redeeming, it is easy to put yourself at a disadvantage.
On the contrary, your expression of apology and love can be presented as a very objective breakup review posture, which will not form a sense of oppression, but can appropriately express your reluctance to lose him.
It can not only let the ex let down his guard, but also pave the way for subsequent behavior.
Remember, to apologize properly, don't think you're going to apologize, what are most apologies? It's saying I'm sorry, but what I'm thinking in my heart is "I've apologized, what else do you want!" ”
It's just a means to use the gesture of apology to seek welfare for yourself and force people. So the focus of the apology should be on the other person, don't talk too much about yourself, don't defend yourself, otherwise it will only make people think that you are making excuses.
You can express emotional regret, but don't give verbal promises all the time, it's all about lowering the other person's guard, showing that you really let go, showing your empathy, and rebuilding the feeling of "us".
02
The second step is that the back vertical is relatively simple
After pulling and pulling in front, whether it's to apologize or pass on love, you have to learn to disappear from the other person's world!
Don't look for him to review his emotions, don't use the circle of friends to interact with likes, and don't send him things, or find mutual friends to confide in their emotions.
What are the benefits of doing this?
1. Loss aversion
You were chasing after his ass before, and suddenly retreating will make him feel like he has lost someone who loved him.
He will also be frustrated and painful, which will stimulate his sense of loss and crisis, he will become uneasy and anxious, and this is the basis for us to redeem himself, the worse he is, the more opportunities we have.
2. Remember, I'm going to let you "catch".
It may seem like your ex is in a high position, but in fact, you are always in control. This move allows you to earn self-esteem and regain the status you lost.
After all, liking is an even thing, and those who can't get it are always in turmoil, and those who are favored have nothing to fear. No one likes people who are too humble in their feelings, and humble people can't get love, and in the end they can only be reduced to a spare tire.
3. Stimulate his emotions.
Since ancient times, the scene that can arouse people's emotions most in all human activities is four words: life and death.
We can't say goodbye, but we can create birth and separation. The sentimentality, reluctance and other emotions that erupt in a person's heart, as long as they are slightly guided, will evolve into inner impulses.
This strategy is all about patience and execution.
The point is to make the other person feel that you have indeed given up and given up.
If you give up and like the other person from time to time, or go to the other person's space to hang out, or leak with other friends that you still like him, etc., then you will be declared a failure.
03
The third step is to throw bait and improve your unavailability
If your ex can't hold back and takes the initiative to come to you, of course, everyone will be happy. But if not, we still need to throw bait to stimulate him.
For example, you can set up a "fake love rival" to arouse the other person's jealousy. stimulated the ex, maybe he rejected this relationship in the early stage and didn't feel much, and when he returned emotionally, it would inevitably stimulate his jealousy.
You know, everyone will have a possessive desire for the ex they really love, of course, this does not mean that you go to find a spare tire, but let you increase your chips and make yourself more valuable.
Another way is to really achieve secondary attraction, and love is, in the final analysis, the attraction of value. People will always be attracted to high value.
Relationships can last long by providing each other with unique value. The most effective way to get your ex's attention is to subvert his stereotypes about you.
However, this also means that your external image, internal cultivation, communication style, emotional management and other aspects must be changed and improved, of course, it is not easy.
Since you realized the existing problems and shortcomings when you broke up, then reflect on it and use this opportunity to improve yourself, often many times it is not that you have no room to grow, but that your previous life was too comfortable.
You've given up a lot of opportunities to become a better version of yourself.
Now only by taking the first step, strengthening one's beliefs, and starting to act, can love come back.