Let's think about what distinguishing qualities a person with a strong heart will have.
They may be very resilient and will not be easily defeated when encountering setbacks; will see a failure as temporary, and will not rise to the success or failure of the whole person or the whole life;
Flexible thinking, not trapped by the walls of thinking, able to jump out of the frame, around the corner, tenacious. I believe that this must also be an excellent quality that most friends need to have.
Because, each of us is moving forward on the road of growth, not to defeat anyone, but to become the best version of ourselves. Only when you become stronger, in the face of some ups and downs and setbacks, can you have more tenacity in life.
But in reality, it is difficult for us to do it ourselves, so we often fall into a helplessness when we suffer a setback, and even fall into complete depression. So, is there any way to get rid of this feeling of helplessness and have a strong heart that is stable and flexible?
A sense of time
Why is it said that a person with a strong heart has a sense of time?
Usually when we encounter some force majeure setbacks, what will be our first reaction, I believe that for most people, the first thought must not be positive, but negative, frustrating, and even a little destructive. As a result, many people will not be able to think about it for a while in the face of setbacks, and they will continue to sink in.
But when you understand that everything develops with a sense of time, it's different.
The perception of a sense of time is like opening a plug-in for the soul, letting us know that the current frustration is only temporary, and we can't directly define the whole life because of the temporary success or failure.
Rather, it can be viewed from the perspective of the whole life: yes, I am a failure in the present, I am not good at the moment, but this is only a moment that will inevitably be experienced in growth.
Many times, when we face setbacks, or when we do something, we want to grasp it immediately, immediately stand on the high ground, if we do it, the mentality is good, positive, but if we don't do it, we will be deeply hit. For the latter, the mentality is that there is a lack of a sense of time.
There is a term for delayed gratification, and its concept is not to give up long-term benefits for short-term gratification. The concept of delayed gratification has a sense of time, which will let us know that with the accumulation of time, over time, after our ability has improved, we can achieve our wishes, although we will not get it now, but those are only temporary.
Therefore, when a person has a sense of time, he will not demand himself from an absolute perspective, but can know how to take a detour, and understand that as long as he is willing to spend time, he can withstand the setback and regain everything he has lost in the next time zone.
And, at this time, when we face those things that cannot be grasped for the time being, we will also understand in our minds that it is only a matter of time before we master them.
02
Spatial sense
What is spatial perception?
I don't know if you have ever had such a mental journey, when you decide to do something, or make a request to others, and immediately get the result you want, you can feel that your wish has been fulfilled.
But if it can't be realized, or if the other party rejects it, you will unconsciously feel angry in your heart, because things are not going in the direction you want. And if you are a person with a low quotient of frustration, you will have the idea of giving up on yourself and blaming yourself.
But when a person's thinking has the concept of a sense of space, the perspective of looking at the problem will become different, and even suddenly enlightened.
The so-called sense of space means that it doesn't matter if I fail, fall, or even be crushed in the current space, it is just an experience in the current space, and it is just a drop in the ocean in my life.
When we can stop our rampage thinking, take a detour, change the space, and still start again.
After experiencing frustration, many people can easily enter linear thinking and are accustomed to using cause and effect to derive, such as: I must fight you to the end, without hitting the south wall and not looking back....... and ignoring the holistic and systematic.
But people with mature minds know that there is a sense of space, since this road does not work, then change the way, understand that there are thousands of roads in the world, if it doesn't work, I will go around, or retreat, and wait for the right time to attack.
03
A sense of control
What is a sense of control?
The so-called sense of control is that when the frustration occurs, I know that even if I am frustrated in the current time and space, or even in multiple time and space, I firmly believe that I can still have the possibility of fulfilling my wishes in more time and space. And this point, I can basically be sure.
The establishment of a sense of control is a combination of a sense of time and space, and after understanding this concept, you will understand that you can use time and space to transform. Eventually, we will form this stable perception, as long as you can maintain the mental presence in the moment of frustration, you can gain the possibility of wishing realization with the accumulation of time and the transformation of space.
The Denmark psychologist Kierkegaard once said: "Either you control life or life controls you, and your mentality determines who is the mount and who is the jockey." ”
As the saying goes, the road turns with the heart, the environment is created by the heart, and the power of the mind cannot be underestimated. Therefore, to be the master of your own mentality, in order to truly be fearless in the face of danger, control the situation, and move towards inner strength.
Write to the end
I believe that each of us will experience the moment of drilling the horns, entering a state of paranoia in thinking, it is difficult to treat a problem, a setback, as an independent event, and thus the bad result will rise to the failure of the whole person.
But when you have a sense of control and know how to separate the sense of time and space in the path of growth, it will be different, it will be an iteration of thinking.
Therefore, don't miss every opportunity to give yourself the promotion of thinking, if you want to make yourself more resistant to setbacks and difficulties, you can include these three excellent thinking into your thinking framework.
Life is not a track, there is no standard road, life is a wilderness, there will be countless possibilities. Therefore, open your eyes and you will get a leap in thinking.
Choi Kyung-sook
Positive Psychology Instructor
Contact: 13331666672
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