From the child of an ordinary peasant to the first person to win the Nobel Prize for Writers in China, Mo Yan has a keen sense that ordinary people do not have, and can integrate real life into the story in a fantasy, absurd, or humorous way. After winning the Nobel Prize, Mo Yan was silent for eight years and launched a collection of novels "The Late Bloomer", which once again uses Gaomi Northeast Township as the background to write the stories of small people. For people who are in the confusion of marriage, this novel is tantamount to a "good prescription" for life and an "antidote" for marriage.
1. Husband and wife life is a physical life, in the final analysis, it is physical intimacy, and the pursuit of happiness is the pursuit. Men, often sex comes first, love comes last; For women, love comes first and sex comes last. Love is just the illusion of hormones, marriage still has to return to reality after all, fireworks in the world, ordinary people, three meals and four seasons, firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea.
In "Torches and Whistles", Gu Shuanghong fell in love with the handsome and polite Gao Bang, the two gave birth to a son and a daughter after marriage, and lived a very happy life, but unexpectedly, the coal mine exploded, Gao Bang was killed, Gu Shuanghong lost her husband, parents and children one after another, in order to take revenge, she broke into the wolf's den alone, and finally ended her life in a red wedding dress.
In the face of love, men are always more rational, while women are sensual first, so in marriage, women have to bear more women, when the light of love fades, what remains is firewood, rice, oil and salt, these simple things. Once the man disappears or leaves, the woman has to bear all the pain that reality has to offer.
The "whistle" in the story symbolizes a kind of calling and guidance, a metaphor for hope and faith in love, and the flame of love will not be extinguished even in darkness and difficult times. The plot that transcends the common sense of reality adds a legendary and tragic atmosphere to the theme of love, making love not only limited to ordinary life trivialities, but also showing the powerful power and decisive action inspired by love in extreme difficulties.
Before women enter marriage, they should think about what they can get, how much they can bear, they should rationally look at the impulses and stimuli brought by hormones, and really feel what marriage is.
2. Don't chat with the opposite sex if you have nothing to do, no one will be good to you for no reason, everything will take care of you, occasionally chat about friends, and chatting every day is ambiguous. If you don't know how to refuse, you are digging a hole for yourself, giving others a chance, don't pretend to be confused, you are all adults, don't pretend that you don't know what the other party wants to do, self-discipline is more important.
"It's never too much to fall in love with anything when you're young, and it's not wrong to give up anything when you're mature." This is a passage written by Mo Yan in the book about love and marriage, he said that people are always looking for people with a compatible soul, but in fact, they can't find it, and only they can really understand themselves.
The relationship between the opposite sex is actually very simple, except for love is ambiguous, and you must master the balance when you get along with it, don't jump into other people's pits, and don't give others the opportunity and space to fantasize at will, smart people know how to restrain their desires and maintain a state of self-discipline.
The ideal lover and marriage are hard-won, and knowing how to cherish the present is more important than anything else. Young people are easily seduced by ambiguous emotions, but once they get caught up in it, they lose even more.
3. Love is what kind of person you want, and marriage is what kind of person you need, these are two different things. Love looks at feelings, while marriage first looks at economy and ability, followed by the other party's character and three views, and finally how he gets along with his family. In the end, the last question is whether you have feelings, no matter how much love you feel, after marriage, you can't bear the humility of poverty, the quarrels of incompatible personalities, and the conflicts with each other's families.
The love between Ma Xiumei and Liu Weidong in "Waiting for Moses" is quite impactful, Ma Xiumei can be said to be a typical "love brain", she doesn't care that Liu Weidong has no money, no house, and came together with him without hesitation, but she got the ending of "abandoned", took on debts alone, and made money to support her family by picking up waste, although Liu Weidong came back in the end, but her suffering could not be erased.
Women in real life must be sober people, they can put their feelings first when they are in love, and they can like someone without hesitation, and it doesn't hurt to be impulsive. But marriage is not good, you must stay calm before entering marriage, the economic foundation and ability are absolutely indispensable, the economic foundation can ensure that the material conditions are sufficient, life can at least be fed, and the ability can make the marriage more and more happy. If there is no such thing, then the marriage will end up being nothing but fragments.
4. If you don't agree with your spouse, treat him as an ordinary friend, let him do whatever he wants, don't always want to change him, even his parents can't change him, why should you embarrass yourself? Dogs like to gnaw bones, cats like to steal, and the thoughts engraved in the bones are difficult to change. Monkeys can climb trees with two taps, and pigs can't go up after 100 years of cultivation. If you choose the wrong marriage, be sure to choose the right lifestyle.
Mo Yan wrote in the book, "Those who truly love each other end up scattering; Those who live together are all reunited; Those who have loved desperately will be separated; Those who got along perfunctorily stayed by their side instead. That's life! ”
In real life, many people are living together, the so-called passion and love will become cold after the heat wave fades, and no matter how strong the feelings are, they will eventually return to firewood, rice, oil and salt, so don't be too harsh in the face of marriage, sometimes "perfunctory" getting along can make the marriage more durable and stable.
Marriage in reality will face multiple pressures from life and society, and husbands and wives should understand and tolerate each other, and should not pursue romance and chic in love excessively, but should support each other to live together. The two of them should also have a certain amount of independent space, find ways to release their stress, and make their lives more meaningful.
5. If a woman does not have the ability to divorce, don't talk about divorce lightly, as long as a man is not a domestic violence, can earn money to support his family, and take care of his children, he should relax his heart, open one eye and close one eye, don't check his mobile phone, don't make noise, don't make trouble, don't tear his face, don't care if he can't manage it, treat him as a tool to earn money, and be the person who rents a house for you, he is not bothered, you are not troubled, and you will raise the children together for the rest of your life and take care of your own body, which is more important than anything else.
In the story of "Waiting for Moses", Ma Xiumei's love is embarrassing, she would rather regret her marriage in order to be with Liu Weidong, Liu Weidong initially showed loyalty and tenacity to love, even if she was beaten by Ma Xiumei, she would not give in. The two lived in a shed after getting married and had a daughter, but Liu Weidong disappeared mysteriously after becoming the leading figure, Ma Xiumei did not complain or get a new love, but silently raised her daughter and waited for her husband to return.
Ma Xiumei was originally from a wealthy family, and if she did not regret her marriage, she might have a happier life, but she insisted on her choice, even if she supported the family alone, she did not have any complaints, but waited for her husband to return. She showed a state of love from the beginning, perhaps she always believed that her husband did not abandon her, so she never cared because of her husband's departure, she insisted on taking care of herself, taking care of her family, and doing everything important.
No one can maintain a perfect image in marriage, everyone has shortcomings, unlike love, marriage needs more tolerance, if the other party's mistakes, shortcomings are harmless and will not have a strong negative impact on life, then choose to ignore it. A wise woman will be good at discovering the good in the other person, and she will also try to keep herself in a good state of mind, and making herself happy is more important than anything else.