This article is purely fictional, please do not sit in the opposite seat. It aims to convey themes of love, family and responsibility, as well as resilience and courage in the face of difficulties. I hope that readers can enjoy the story while also feeling the positive energy and warmth in it.
As the saying goes, "when a tree dies, a person lives", but sometimes people take a wrong step, and they may come to a dead end. I had never done anything particularly bold in my life, but that year, I made a big mistake, and it all started because I fell in love with my neighbor Liu Yan, a widow.
Liu Yan's husband died two years ago, and she lives with her three-year-old son in the east end of our hospital. Since she moved here, the street has been a lot more lively. She is young and beautiful, and her eyes are always a little melancholy, but they are full of stubbornness. Men are always a little reserved in front of her, but somehow, every time I see her, my heart is like being scratched by a cat.
That night, I was smoking a cigarette at the entrance of the alley, and I saw Liu Yan coming back from outside, wearing a red trench coat, and the wind blew her hair, like the heroine of a movie. I stared at her and entered, and a thought popped into my mind: "I need to talk to her, even if it's just to borrow a lighter." "But things turned out to be more complicated than I expected, and in the end I sneaked into her house every night in the dead of night......
How dare I, you may ask? Actually, I don't know. It was an irrepressible impulse, an emotion that wandered in the night, torn between conscience and desire. Does Liu Yan know that I'm here? Will she hate me? These questions lingered in my mind like a poisonous snake for a long time.
First night
That night, the moonlight was coldly sprinkled in the alley, and I held the doorknob, and my heart beat like a drum. The house was quiet, Liu Yan's child was already asleep, and I gently pushed the door open, for fear of making a little noise.
"What are you doing here?" A voice suddenly sounded behind me, and I turned around stiffly to meet Liu Yan's calm but slightly stunned eyes. She stood in the dim light, her hands clasped to her chest, dressed in a homely gray nightgown, her hair hanging loosely over her shoulders.
"I ......" I opened my mouth, completely unsure of what to say, and my face burned for a while.
Liu Yan raised her eyebrows, and before I could speak, she actually smiled, "In the middle of the night, you just walked in?" Is it trying to steal or ......? ”
I was a little at a loss and touched the back of my head, "No, Sister Yan, I ...... I just want to see you, I'm worried that you'll be alone at night......"
She smiled more visibly, with a hint of mockery, "I'm a widow, and I don't need you to worry. You're quite bold, Zhang Dayong, do you know what your current behavior is called? ”
I was speechless for a while, panicked and confused, and quickly stared down at my toes, not daring to look at her.
"Let's go," she sighed, her voice flat but unmistakably resolute.
I walked out like a dog. Standing outside the door, I was in a trance. The conversation just now made me ashamed, but at the same time, Liu Yan's calm attitude made me feel an indescribable feeling in my heart. She didn't get angry and didn't call the police. She's just ...... It's so bland that it doesn't seem like a big deal at all.
Second night
The next day I tried to calm myself down. Yes, I have to control myself, I can't go on with this. I paced back and forth in the room, thinking about how I could forget the embarrassment of last night.
But in the evening, that strange urge came again. I stood at the door of Liu Yan's house again, knowing in my heart that I shouldn't, but I moved in without obeying the call.
This time, Liu Yan was already sitting on the sofa, as if waiting for me.
"You still dare to come?" Her voice was calm, but with a hint of banter.
"I ...... I'm sorry, I don't know how......" I stammered as I explained.
She nodded, seemingly unmoved, "Come in, since you're here, don't stand at the door." ”
I walked into her room, and the faint scent and soft lighting in the room made people feel warm, but the atmosphere was unusually tense. I sat in a chair not far from her, my hands clasped on my knees, not knowing how to speak.
"What the hell do you want to do? Yuko? She stared straight at me, her tone still calm, but her eyes seemed to dissect my heart.
I looked up at her, and my heart suddenly swelled with blood, "I like you, Sister Yan!" I can't control myself, I want to see you every day and be with you...... I know I shouldn't, but I ......."
Before I finished speaking, Liu Yan interrupted me, "You think you like me?" Yongzi, don't be stupid. You just think I'm alone and want to take advantage of it. ”
I was stunned, her words were like a basin of cold water splashed on my face, which made me sober up in an instant. I stammered, not knowing how to refute it.
Liu Yan stood up, walked to the window, and turned her back to me, "Do you know how difficult it was for me to take care of the children alone after my husband died?" I'm not the poor widow you imagine, I have my own life and I don't need anyone's pity. ”
"Sister Yan, I'm not pitying you, I really like you......" My voice gradually lowered, and even I felt weak and powerless.
She turned around, a hint of mixed emotion flashing in her eyes, "Like? Yuko, liking someone is not such a simple thing. How much do you know about me? What can you give me? You're still young, don't ruin yourself on the spur of the moment. ”
I lowered my head, and the conflicts and contradictions in my heart made me almost unable to think. I really didn't think it through, I was just driven by a strong emotion, an emotion that couldn't be explained......
Next time, I will continue to expand more dialogues and emotional development in the main text, and further deepen the complex emotional conflict between Zhang Dayong and Liu Yan, and look forward to the next content.
Third night
I thought that Liu Yan would reject me completely, but she didn't. This made me even more confused and unable to restrain myself. That night, I stood in front of her door again, my hands on the doorknob, hesitating.
There was a sound of soft footsteps in the room, and the door opened. Liu Yan stood there, still wearing the gray pajamas, her hair casually draped.
"Here you go again." She looked at me in a light tone.
"I ...... I couldn't control myself. "I felt like a useless coward, scared and longing. I walked into the room with my heart beating so hard that it seemed like every step was heavy.
"Do you know what you're doing here? Yuko? There was a hint of helplessness in her voice, but she didn't refuse my approach.
I didn't answer, but walked straight up to her and stared into her deep eyes. I can't read her mind, but I can feel her loneliness, as if she is also alone in this world.
"Why didn't you chase me away?" I finally couldn't help but ask, with a slight question in my eyes.
Liu Yan's expression moved slightly, and then a wry smile appeared, "Maybe I'm even more fragile than you think." Do you think I'm really that strong? I'm a woman, with children, lonely, and I'm ...... I also have times of weakness. ”
Her voice was low, and a hint of wetness flashed in her eyes. At that moment, I saw the moment when all the hard shells on her body were peeled off, as if she had finally removed all her disguises and revealed the softest side of her heart.
"Sister Yan......" I called softly, my heart full of complicated emotions. I want to be close to her, I want to hug her, I want to give her warmth, I want to comfort her. But when I reached out, she gently pushed me away.
"Yongzi, don't do this." There was a hint of chokering in her voice, "I know you're sincere, but we can't. I have my life, and you have your future. You're still young, don't let me delay you. ”
I stood still, my hands frozen in the air, my heart hurting as if I had been cut with a blunt knife.
"I don't care, I'm willing to ......," I said hurriedly, my voice shaky.
Liu Yan shook her head, "You don't understand." Yongzi, you don't understand at all. I've lost a man and I can't afford to lose myself anymore. I can't pin my life on someone else's feelings, especially a young person like you. ”
Her eyes were much firmer, and the hidden pain broke my heart even more. She turned and walked to the kitchen and poured me a glass of water, skilfully and calmly, as if nothing had happened.
"You should go, go back, don't come again." She handed me the glass of water, her eyes steadfast and no longer seemed to allow me to struggle.
I took the glass of water, but I didn't drink it. I looked at her in a daze, trying to say something, but I felt that no words seemed superfluous at this moment. Liu Yan's eyes told me that she had made up her mind, and I was powerless to change.
That night, I walked out of her house with mixed feelings. The moonlight sprinkled in the alley, and the silence was chilling. I know, it's all over. No matter how much I struggled and how unwilling I was, our fate was already sealed at some point.
Fourth night
Although I knew it in my heart, I was still unwilling. On the fourth night, I still came to her doorstep. This time, I didn't go in, just stood outside the door, silently looking at the familiar door. The night breeze blew, and I felt a tiredness I had never felt before.
Suddenly, the door opened.
"Yongzi, you're still here." Liu Yan stood at the door, with a complicated expression, as if she was helpless against my stubbornness.
I didn't speak, just looked at her silently, and my heart was turned over and overwhelmed, with mixed feelings.
"You can't go on like this." She sighed softly, her eyes a little gentle, but more distressed. "You have to know how to let go, there are some things that you can't force on."
I took a deep breath and finally spoke, "Sister Yan, I just want to know, do you not like me at all?" If you don't like it, I'll stop coming. ”
Liu Yan was stunned for a moment, and then showed a wry smile, "What if you like it?" Yongzi, life is not only about liking, but also about many practical problems to face. I have children and I have the pressures of life, you know? ”
"I can take care of you." I said subconsciously, with a hint of eagerness in my voice.
She shook her head, her eyes full of helplessness, "Take care? How old are you, you haven't been well yet, how can you take care of me and the children? ”
Her words hit me like a punch in the heart. I was stunned, not knowing how to answer.
"You see, you didn't think of anything, just on the spur of the moment. I can't let you ruin yourself, and I can't ruin myself. Her voice was soft, but resolute.
"Sister Yan......" I murmured in a low voice, as if my heart was being weighed down by a thousand pounds of stone, and I couldn't breathe.
She stepped closer and patted me lightly on the shoulder, "Go back, Yuko." You'll meet someone who really suits you, and you'll understand when the time comes, I'm doing the right thing. ”
At that moment, I understood that the story of me and Liu Yan was destined to be a regret.
Many years later, I still remember that late autumn night and Liu Yan's eyes that saw through everything. In this life, there are always some missed feelings, and there are always some unfulfilled stories. We think that love can overcome everything, but we ignore the countless details of life that conflict with reality. Liu Yan is a strong woman, she knows how to go on her own path, and she also knows how to face the ups and downs in life.
I finally understood that some love is destined to let go. Like she said, liking isn't everything, it's just a part of life. Love can make people impulsive and can make people lost, but only when you really see life clearly, can you find your own place in it.
Liu Yan is a woman I admire, she not only taught me what true love is, but also made me understand responsibility and responsibility. She chose her own path, and I, in the end, embarked on my own journey.
This story may be just a small wave in the river of our human growth, but it has taught me how to face reality and how to find a balance between love and responsibility.
Perhaps, love is not about having, but about respecting each other's choices and respecting each other's lives. When we are able to do this, we can truly understand what love is.