In this world, "people" are the biggest variable.
If a wealthy family raises a loser, it is likely not far from decay; A family with no money, if it raises a prosperous family, then it is likely not far from going uphill.
Whether there is money or not, this is all temporary, not long-term. As long as people change, so do the rich and the poor. The influence of people and people is enormous.
The so-called "the right time, the right place and the right people". Lack of people, no matter how good the time is, it can't be grasped. Lack of people, no matter how good the location is, it cannot be used.
For a family, nothing is more important than the "people" themselves. Relatives are virtuous and gradually prosper; Relatives have no virtue, and family fortune is declining.
It is not poverty that hurts families the most, but these unvirtuous relatives.
1. The elders who rely on the old and sell the old.
There is a kind of old man, no matter how old he is and how old his qualifications are, he will not be respected by the younger generations, and will only cause all kinds of contradictions - the elders who rely on the old and sell the old.
What does it mean to rely on the old and sell the old? It refers to the elderly, who pretend to be old, despise others, and think that all people must be humble and considerate of the elderly.
Just like "giving up seats on the bus", the old man who relies on the old and sells the old thinks that I am an old man, and others should humble me, otherwise you don't know how to respect the old.
This kind of behavior of relying on the old and selling the old will not increase the favor of others, but will make others more disgusted. At the legal level, everyone is equal, why should others be morally kidnapped by you?
In the family, if the elderly do not know how to be restrained and still put on this posture of relying on the old and selling the old, I think family conflicts and contradictions will emerge one after another. Living in harmony is just a luxury.
As an elder, you should be considerate of your juniors. If you know how to be considerate of others, they will respect you. The harmony between people is not one-way, but two-way.
2. Quarrelsome couples.
A small family, composed of husband and wife, is destined to affect the future and destiny of the small family with every move of the husband and wife.
I've seen an example.
There is a family in the town, which is not poor, and life is still very good. However, the relationship between the husband and wife is not good, and they always quarrel, forcing one party to cheat.
In order to retaliate against the cheating party, the other party also used the child as a threat. This came and went, and both sides lost and lost, and could only end in divorce. Pity that child, who became a bargaining chip in the struggle between his parents.
Before marriage, both men and women promise to hold the hand of their son and grow old with him, but why do they quarrel endlessly after marriage? Love is you and me, but marriage is firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. The essence is different.
First of all, everything that should be done has been done, and both parties are tired of it, so they naturally quarrel; Secondly, the reality of firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea has consumed the feelings of both men and women.
Husband and wife, family prosperous. Husbands and wives quarrel, families decline. There is no quarrel between a couple who can build a happy little family.
3. Pampered children.
At this stage, parents regard their children as the palm of their hands and the treasure in their palms, making their children become the little princes and princesses of the family, and they are becoming more and more pampered.
From the perspective of parents, it is indeed human nature to pamper children and let them live happily and happily.
From the perspective of children's growth, pampering children, allowing children to grow up completely in the greenhouse, without withstanding the test of wind and rain, can children really thrive?
Pines and cypresses cannot be planted in flower pots, and eagles cannot fly in bird cages. The real pines and cypresses need to withstand the baptism of wind and rain in order to grow tenacity; A real eagle needs to endure the beatings of life in order to spread its wings and fly high.
Children who grow up in greenhouses don't touch the spring water with their fingers. To put it nicely, it's a rich family. And to put it mildly, it's a loser.
Children who have not made money or suffered hardships will basically not be grateful for their parents' contributions, nor will they cherish their parents' assets. No matter how rich you are, you may be ruined by your children.
Fourth, the family members who are far away and smelly.
There is a word, far fragrant and close to smelly. It means that people and things in the distance are fragrant, but people and things near are smelly.
Take "eating" as an example, many people feel that their own food is not delicious, or other people's food is delicious.
Take "husband and wife" as an example, many people feel that the other half of their own family is not good, but the other half of someone else's family is better.
Take "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" as an example, many people feel that their own mother-in-law is particularly bad, and it is still someone else's mother-in-law who gets along well.
Take "parent-child" as an example, many people feel that their own children's qualifications are mediocre, but they are still excellent children.
Why do you think so? It is related to "what you can't get is the best human nature". Since I have never been in contact with others, I pin my good thoughts on others. Slowly, I neglected and hated the relatives around me.
In fact, everyone is the same, and there is not much difference. It is possible that so-and-so in other people's families is not as good as our family. It's just that we haven't been exposed to it, so we don't know.
Text/Shushan has deer